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Is there anything I can do for you?
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Could you please have passionate sexual intermacourse with all the women I have lined up? I haven’t asked them if I can outsource my ploughing but I’m sure it’ll be fine.
You do need to provide them afterwards with a medal and certificate. |
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Yes, please.
I really need to get out for a brisk walk. Could you provide motivation to do so.
Thank you
Oh! There's one more thing. The autocorrect on my phone has stopped working, I've tried everything to no avail. Could you get it back please?
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"Yes, please.
I really need to get out for a brisk walk. Could you provide motivation to do so.
Thank you
Oh! There's one more thing. The autocorrect on my phone has stopped working, I've tried everything to no avail. Could you get it back please?
"
Get off your lazy arses and get walking! Christmas is over, so stop lazing around and get moving 
Hand your phone over!  |
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"Can you hoover my stairs possibly please? I can provide the hoover although it’s not a Dyson (not a Hoover either).
Yes - I’ll bring my shark! "
Fantastic, thank you! I’ll leave the back door open. |
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"Yes can you extend our holiday please? We're in that shitty ether where we've vacated the room but our flight isn't till later but we have to sit by the pool dressed in UK-proof clothing  "
Oh I hate that.
We went to a really hot country for Christmas one year when the UK was very cold and snowy. I had to sit by the pool in a white, mohair, polo neck 🤦 |
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"Yes, please.
I really need to get out for a brisk walk. Could you provide motivation to do so.
Thank you
Oh! There's one more thing. The autocorrect on my phone has stopped working, I've tried everything to no avail. Could you get it back please?
"
😆👏 |
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"Can you hoover my stairs possibly please? I can provide the hoover although it’s not a Dyson (not a Hoover either).
Yes - I’ll bring my shark!
Fantastic, thank you! I’ll leave the back door open."
I’ll make sure to come round the back then! |
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"Yes, please.
I really need to get out for a brisk walk. Could you provide motivation to do so.
Thank you
Oh! There's one more thing. The autocorrect on my phone has stopped working, I've tried everything to no avail. Could you get it back please?
Get off your lazy arses and get walking! Christmas is over, so stop lazing around and get moving
Hand your phone over! "
Ok, now I'm scared  |
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"Can you hoover my stairs possibly please? I can provide the hoover although it’s not a Dyson (not a Hoover either).
Yes - I’ll bring my shark!
Fantastic, thank you! I’ll leave the back door open.
I’ll make sure to come round the back then! "
Perfect, just be mindful of the shark, please. |
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"Yes can you extend our holiday please? We're in that shitty ether where we've vacated the room but our flight isn't till later but we have to sit by the pool dressed in UK-proof clothing
Oh I hate that.
We went to a really hot country for Christmas one year when the UK was very cold and snowy. I had to sit by the pool in a white, mohair, polo neck 🤦"
I've got tights in my bag to apply at the airport but have a vest under my dress |
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"Yes can you extend our holiday please? We're in that shitty ether where we've vacated the room but our flight isn't till later but we have to sit by the pool dressed in UK-proof clothing
Oh I hate that.
We went to a really hot country for Christmas one year when the UK was very cold and snowy. I had to sit by the pool in a white, mohair, polo neck 🤦
I've got tights in my bag to apply at the airport but have a vest under my dress "
Then there was the time we visited relatives in a hot country in January and I thought it would be a good idea to wear a thin jacket and dress, it's only a short wait for the bus at the long stay car park at Gatwick after all. Fast forward to our return, it's below freezing, frosty and we'd forgotten where we'd parked the car. 😶. We walked round for ages, getting colder and colder. |
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