The protector: BlueEyedJoker. Anyone brave enough to be the first to join this thread must be ridiculously strong, mentally as well as physically 😉.
The healer/shaman: LittleMissTinselTits (LMTT). Who else gives off that group orgy healing vibe more than LMTT? Plus, space for self-healing too.
The musician/storyteller/jester: ScoobyBoobyDoo. Because of all Scooby's many talents, artistry and ribald humour are two I'd like to see even more of.
The maker of things: ObiHaive. Come on - he's made camel toes, mistle toes, and scary pumpkins in just the last couple of months. This guy has skills.
The keeper of secrets: Mark742024. Who can you trust your secrets with more, than someone who's not even there to hear them? His very specific out is his in. Which is out 🥴.
The tamer of panthers, added psi: Me
The story of our tribe, scribed mostly by Scooby, narrated by many, but mostly Nicky:
"Obi had prepared our nosh-divination tools; Scooby was squawking our foraging song 🎵 a la Yoko Ono as we wandered the forest of our home. Joker, ever alert, heard something out of place. I psi-chatted with Bob and Alice, the panthers, who were well-up for some mangling-fun.
We could discern an Ancient One, seemingly a leader (god, who does that one leader shit these days 🙄), as the rest of her tribe blurted what we could only assume was their battle-cry of "Peace Love Shag In-Out Hot Picks Thriving Jung". We looked at Joker. He had that Robert Redford GIF look about him (you know the one!) and we knew he had it covered. In a particularly manly way I may add.
Just as he prepared to leap into the marauders like Garet Jax in slowmo ballet assassin mode, they all suddenly, as if by complete magick, turned into entirely other people. 3 bepenised, 3 bevagged, plus 2 bonus detachable bumpussies for sharing.
Weird huh?
Every one Joker knocked un-conscious, Obi prepared a wooden cage for, as LMTT performed her shamanic healing ritual of rubbing her mons veneris on, frankly, every part of their body! Filthy! I love magick.
Mark wasn't there, so nobody knew about any of this of course.
Scooby, ever cheeky, asked me to levitate their cages and start doing things to the bad marauders.
She asked me to make their titties stretch out 20 feet (some were nearly there anyway tbh), and some winky ventriloquism, and even some bumpussy slapstick around their faces. Always accompanied with a "wa-waaaahhh" trombone sound effect.
But after laughing for a bit, we did feel we'd laughed too much AT them. Not nice.
So we let the marauders down and everyone sat down and started being a bit nicer. LMTT started an orgy with them. Obi joined in, Joker was very popular, and poor old Mark wasn't there still. I'd never seen such happy sex-faces.
Scooby, at this point, was frantically dipping both her nipples in dark mush to write all this on the bark of the Wangi-Wangi tree. Both boobs frantically scribbling at the same time. She's got multi-skills that one 😘.
Suddenly - POOF! The Bonky Bonky Aliens appeared (note from Scooby - BBAs from here on. My fucking boobs are nearly dropping off with all this writing!).
Were they one? Were they infinite? They spoke with one voice, we heard and spoke back as one. Both tribes.
"Listen", they said. "Listen. It's a long story, but there aren't actually any tribes or cliques in the entire multiverse really. It's all about the tiniest thing belonging to everything, and everything belonging to the tiniest thing. Yes, we know it's a paradox but we've been around 7.413 billion years longer than you so just trust us all right? Oh - and one day you'll be able to become a star and boy just you wait until you experience a galactigasm in star form! Your legs shake for 2 billion years after!"
LMTT walked up at this point, dripping more jizz and ladyjuice than a dozen plasterer's radios, and said "Great. But I still need a fuck"...at which point the BBAs obliged her, the marauders, Joker, Obi, and not Mark because he's always been out.
Scooby looked at me and said "I need a BBA orgy shag Nicky - dip your wang in that and carry on this scribing lark yourself now mate".
So as I wanged on the Wangi-Wangi bark the BBAs said:
"Yes. It's true. Your species is on the tipping point. Like trillions before. Most extinguish themselves. Do try to become more like the women and the TSs, but not like that Thatcher experiment. Sorry about that - all our fault. Men - we made you a bit more like the way you are because it was necessary for a few million years. But have a look at the orgasm healing of the bevagged and the TS bepenised - you need to become a bit more like them now or you'll destroy it all. Which will be a shame.
Anyway, who's up for some anal?
Nicky - stop writing now and have a fuck."
Well - I didn't need asking twice."
And this is the story of our tribe, written for the future.
The.........Beginning.
Epilogue - written by none, yet still imprinted on the aether:
Alice looked at Bob.
Bob looked at Alice.
"What the fuck was all that shit about?"
"No idea. Let's go fuck up some caymans." |
In 
. 
I might sit and work this all out in an airport tomorrow, when otherwise bored 
