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Arthur's guide to distilled sprits
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended. |
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"Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended. "
No love for ouzo or raki? It canead to doing it the Greek way |
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"Vintage Port for me. The one that needs decanting. 🍷
·
I like that too, but it is a fortified drink.
•
And...?
Its not a distilled spirit... Keep uo"
·
But Port is made using Aguardente vínica, a distilled spirit (brandy) which arrests the fermentation during fortification. |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"Vintage Port for me. The one that needs decanting. 🍷
·
I like that too, but it is a fortified drink.
•
And...?
Its not a distilled spirit... Keep uo
·
But Port is made using Aguardente vínica, a distilled spirit (brandy) which arrests the fermentation during fortification."
Precisely, it is fortified with brandy! |
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"Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended. "
Tequila is made from one of the Agave plant genus' species, which are succulents, not cacti. |
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I drink only the finest liquor. Distilled via the permeation of liquid through the strata.
Yes. My tipple of choice this Christmas will be bottled by the 5L and sold in Lidl for 69 cents.
Fonteide. Delicious! 💦 |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended.
Tequila is made from one of the Agave plant genus' species, which are succulents, not cacti. "
True but not humorous. Cacti are also succulents. |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"I drink only the finest liquor. Distilled via the permeation of liquid through the strata.
Yes. My tipple of choice this Christmas will be bottled by the 5L and sold in Lidl for 69 cents.
Fonteide. Delicious! 💦"
Disqualified! Not distilled. Or spirit. |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"I am lucky enough to distill my own calvados from the excess cider I make
I have my own still … it’s quite a therapeutic process
"
For the benefit of Customs and Excise, I know how to do it but don’t. |
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By *ags73Man 7 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I'll stick to my 13% bourbon barrel aged imperial stout thanks.
Of course, would be rude to turn down a vintage port. Maybe a Fonesca 1992 vintage or a 1970 Taylors single harvest vintage."
Stout.
Fonseca?
Wow. |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"I'll stick to my 13% bourbon barrel aged imperial stout thanks.
Of course, would be rude to turn down a vintage port. Maybe a Fonesca 1992 vintage or a 1970 Taylors single harvest vintage."
You're buying! |
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"Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended. "
Thought for a min that this was going to be an interesting recommendation of different sprits? |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"Dear readers,
It is that time of year when we overdo the celebrations. In order to help you make informed choices, I have included a brief guide to those drinks having the quickest and most severe ill feelings.
Whisky (Scotland)
Two types: blended (from who knows what) and single malts. Prices range from reasonable to eye-watering.
Avoid the ones which are heavily peated unless you like mud and trichlorophenol.
Overall not recommended.
Whiskey (Ireland)
Slightly more palatable than whisky. Still not recommended.
Bourbon
Made from parts of Memphis. And not the good parts.
Vodka
Made from potatoes for potatoes. Needs a mixer.
Rum (light)
Why bother? Stick to vodka and mixer.
Rum (dark)
Sailor's favourite. And we all know what else sailors like. Palatable.
Gin
Mother's ruin. Made from recycled pine trees and herbs past their sell-by date.
Tequila
Praised by The Champs. No one knows why. Made from cactus. Yes, really. Sometimes has a worm in at the bottom. No respect for quality control.
Brandy
Made from grapes. You Greeks, what's with the pine trees again?
Cognac
Recommended.
Thought for a min that this was going to be an interesting recommendation of different sprits?"
Why not start such a thread? I reckon it will turn into a oneupmanship contest within 5 messages. |
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By *rthur30 OP Man 7 weeks ago
Warrington |
"Vodka doesn't have to be made from potato"
True, vodka can be made from anything that can be fermented and then distilled. It could also be made from synthetically produced alcohol, albeit more expensively. |
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