Would you cancel if something more exciting popped up
And would you spin a yarn or be kinda truthful
Just had my second cancellation, in 2 weeks. Literally an hour before I'm about to leave.
Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤 |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Nope.
Plans made are plans kept.
I don't have to worry about the whole 'giving someone a second chance at a later date' dilemma, because I don't do random meets.
If people have to cancel on me they're always honest, I have every faith they're not spinning me a yarn and I'll gladly meet them another time. Things happen in life. I've never built up any prospective meet in my head to the extent I'd be stressed out if it didn't happen.
If I seriously thought any of my friends/partners were ditching me for someone else they'd stop being friends/partners. 🤷♂️ |
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"Would you cancel if something more exciting popped up
And would you spin a yarn or be kinda truthful
Just had my second cancellation, in 2 weeks. Literally an hour before I'm about to leave.
Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤"
I doubt they got better offers I suspect they bottled it or were in relationships |
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Nope I wouldn't cancel, I don't think it's very fair to cancel arrangements with someone, because someone else asked to meet.
Years ago I was due to have a social meet, he cancelled that morn and said he needed to have his son.
Fair enough I thought things happen. Then a couple of days later a shiny new v graphic message appears saying they'd met the night he cancelled me.
I declined to meet him when he asked again. |
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Sounds like a lack of nerve rather than a better offer.
But in answer to the question. Hmmm it's difficult, yeah you should be open and honest but would someone really want to hear that you mugged them off because you found something better?
Definitely would use a tactful excuse.
Or better still see if they will to combine! 😂 |
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"Would you cancel if something more exciting popped up
And would you spin a yarn or be kinda truthful
Just had my second cancellation, in 2 weeks. Literally an hour before I'm about to leave.
Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤"
Both fools..😑 but I suppose both having colds were a possibility- there’s a lot of it about 🫢. I’d rather not catch something right before Christmas, I’d be really pissed off. |
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By *ack688Man 5 weeks ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
Given how many bugs are going around at the moment it could be quite legitimate. I got one a couple of weeks ago I can’t seem to shift, depending how bad I felt at the time, I would be more likely to say I’m not feeling great and wouldn’t want to infect someone I was meeting but still give them the option allowing for the fact I might not be the best company. If it’s just an excuse then it’s better for them to be truthful |
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One time, I hadn't seen my partner for almost 3 months. He suddenly had availability on a night I had a date planned with someone else. I asked, the other person was okay with the situation, and we made plans for another night so I could spend that evening with my much missed partner.
In the usual course of things, I wouldn't dream of cancelling plans just because something 'better' came along. But that was me deeply pining for someone I care for, and I wouldn't have been able to enjoy my evening with someone more casual knowing that I'd chosen that over someone that means the world to me, especially when gods only knew when we'd have the opportunity again at that point 💜 |
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I’ve realised on a couple of occasions I’ve been setup as a just-in-case. I can understand why these less than considerate types do it given that so many meets get cancelled but it doesn’t feel good. Getting ghosted a few hours before the planned meet where I’ve made arrangements and committed to travel or accommodation and then reading a veri for that evening by someone else. Fuck that.
Blocked! |
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"One time, I hadn't seen my partner for almost 3 months. He suddenly had availability on a night I had a date planned with someone else. I asked, the other person was okay with the situation, and we made plans for another night so I could spend that evening with my much missed partner.
In the usual course of things, I wouldn't dream of cancelling plans just because something 'better' came along. But that was me deeply pining for someone I care for, and I wouldn't have been able to enjoy my evening with someone more casual knowing that I'd chosen that over someone that means the world to me, especially when gods only knew when we'd have the opportunity again at that point 💜"
This was considerate honest behaviour, good manners and I doubt anyone would begrudge you making those alternative arrangements. Well done for being lovely. 🥰 |
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By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago
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No. When I'm planning to spend time with someone I'm almost irritatingly excited and meeting them becomes one of my focuses. Something more exciting wouldn't happen.
Perhaps they do have colds - it's not uncommon at this time of year. A hour notice though? That's a bit shoddy. I think as soon as someone decides against they should let the other person know. Rip off the plaster rather than delaying any negative emotions and letting them build. |
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Plans I had - hotel, restaurant and a live music venue were cancelled due to my Fab date getting a cold sore. At least she gave me enough notice to cancel bookings and reservations and not lose out.. |
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"Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤"
Cold feet more like!
It’s not something I’ve ever done, or would even entertain doing, but each to their own I suppose. In all the years I’ve been on fab if I’ve learnt nothing else, it’s that to many people don’t realise a profile is a person and treat that person with the respect everyone deserves.
Personally I’d block and move on. |
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"No. When I'm planning to spend time with someone I'm almost irritatingly excited and meeting them becomes one of my focuses. Something more exciting wouldn't happen.
Perhaps they do have colds - it's not uncommon at this time of year. A hour notice though? That's a bit shoddy. I think as soon as someone decides against they should let the other person know. Rip off the plaster rather than delaying any negative emotions and letting them build."
Pretty much this. Colds happen. Very rarely do they come on suddenly without notice an hour before you have plans.
Feeling strung along is a shitty feeling. I would hate to make someone feel that way so if I’m cancelling because I’m no longer interested I’ll always be honest about it and say I’m just not feeling it and not blow them off or ghost |
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"Perhaps they do have colds - it's not uncommon at this time of year. A hour notice though? That's a bit shoddy. I think as soon as someone decides against they should let the other person know. Rip off the plaster rather than delaying any negative emotions and letting them build."
This too.
I was really bouncy and excited to see someone last Sunday. But on the Saturday he let me know that he was hoping not but almost certainly coming down with something. I was still disappointed to not have the date of course, but I appreciated enough of a heads up to make other plans or at least not get myself ready before knowing. He's better now, but I haven't got any free time til Tuesday 😭 |
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We certainly wouldn't cancel a meet if someone else offered a "better" one
We would stick to the original plans and rearrange the other offer
We try not to cancel unless it's absolutely unavoidable |
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No, if you've made plans you should stick to them. I doubt a better offer came up, it's reasonably difficult to have several conversations at once, especially when they are showing interest.
I have done it once though where someone booked a hotel a restaurant or something without me knowing.. they weren't best pleased. |
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If I say I am going to meet then I will do my damndest to meet. Life does happen but if I know I can’t make it then I will almost certainly know more than a day in advance and would let the other person know asap. |
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The fact that I am a slow burn and much time, effort, empathic investment and patience has been expended by me over someone in the lead up to a meet means that I have no back up plans, no matter how exciting they may be.
I would only •reschedule• for genuine reasons (I am avoiding the word "cancel" because it's not a cancellation, per se, unless something horrendous manifests itself with the person that I am looking to meet).
Without trivialising your experience - and sorry to hear about this - two cancellations in two weeks is not that 'many', for want of a better term. Wintry bugs and the festive season brings all sorts of colds and ailments and therefore perhaps these were genuine reasons. Of course we will never know....
...I shall let the others on this thread spin the mainstream clichés that the men bottled it, got cold feet or were in relationships because I'm not buying that BS.
Even respectful people cancel or change their minds or reschedule. Such traits aren't exclusive to the lotharios and cads. |
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"The fact that I am a slow burn and much time, effort, empathic investment and patience has been expended by me over someone in the lead up to a meet means that I have no back up plans, no matter how exciting they may be.
I would only •reschedule• for genuine reasons (I am avoiding the word "cancel" because it's not a cancellation, per se, unless something horrendous manifests itself with the person that I am looking to meet).
Without trivialising your experience - and sorry to hear about this - two cancellations in two weeks is not that 'many', for want of a better term. Wintry bugs and the festive season brings all sorts of colds and ailments and therefore perhaps these were genuine reasons. Of course we will never know....
...I shall let the others on this thread spin the mainstream clichés that the men bottled it, got cold feet or were in relationships because I'm not buying that BS.
Even respectful people cancel or change their minds or reschedule. Such traits aren't exclusive to the lotharios and cads."
Very well said Nero.
I have rescheduled, quite as you say. I have never had a backup plan, or even thought to initiate one.
I have have grown tired of navigating male composition fallacies. I don't get to the point of arranging a meet with someone, until their capacity to reciprocate empathy for me as an individual is also present. |
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"Would you cancel if something more exciting popped up
And would you spin a yarn or be kinda truthful
Just had my second cancellation, in 2 weeks. Literally an hour before I'm about to leave.
Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤"
Absolutely not, if I've made plans I stick to them no matter how good the other offer is. However, if there's opportunity to include them in said offer then great, win win!  Far too many timewasters and cold feet exist unfortunately |
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I've never had a backup plan and never needed one because I've never had a no show in all my years here.
In saying that though I'm fully aware that I've been a plan B on 2 separate occasions but I had worked that out before meeting and I thought it was a shitty way to treat anyone.
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"Would you cancel if something more exciting popped up
And would you spin a yarn or be kinda truthful
Just had my second cancellation, in 2 weeks. Literally an hour before I'm about to leave.
Both guys excuses were a cold 🫤"
Nope, man of my word and secondly love those shoes! |
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Lemme get this right.
They backed out on you?
THEY BACKED OUT ON YOU?
Holy shit are they actually clinically insane?
Go look in the mirror. Just look at how hot you are. There has to be something very very wrong with them. Cold feet? I'd have have gangrene, even then I'd present myself with bloodied stumps!
I'm not sure I'm selling it here, but you get what I mean!
Chris |
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By *ustBoWoman 5 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
No I wouldn't cancel on someone because I would never look to make any alternative plans on a day that I am already meeting someone. (When I am meeting that is ). I actually think it's rude and ignorant to do that to someone. Yes if something genuine comes up I understand.
I know I've been plan b for a guy I was meant to meet one day .He had arranged a time and place then went quiet so I didn't travel to meet him and told him before hand I wouldn't .About two hours past the time we were to meet he messaged me and asked me to meet him then I laughed and said why did he get ghosted and he admitted that he had arranged to meet someone else at the time he was to meet me. Needless to say I didn't meet him then or any other time. I won't be plan b for anyone and I wouldn't expect anyone to be plan b for me either. |
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