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What happened in France today
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What happened today will have a knock on for years in the swinging world. Could not be the worst thing to happen to the swinging world. The bad press the swinging world has got from this trial.
Been saying for years that the swinging world has needed to get its act together. Swinging is not the issue its how it done is. People have got to be sure that the the person is consenting not been made to do it either. Been saying for years things have to change. Do you know how many out there tonight will have no respect for this life style after the events of this trial. Some poeple need the swinging world and the life style. this trail has not helped that in any way. There will be poeple out in the main stream whon will be well put off. Im really angry about the events that have happen France. For years been trying me best for the message to get across that we have to be carful how folk do this. WHO ever comes after you has to be safe going to open this tread see what folk have to say |
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"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? "
Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent |
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"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent"
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush |
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"Drugging someone to have them **** has no connection to anything on here. Haven't seen anyone mention swinging or any link to anything consensual in any of the reporting. "
yes some of the men was swingers
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"Drugging someone to have them **** has no connection to anything on here. Haven't seen anyone mention swinging or any link to anything consensual in any of the reporting. yes some of the men was swingers"
Have you got anything factual to support that? |
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By *ony MannMan 3 weeks ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura |
"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush"
They were rapists not swingers. You have to have free consent to swing. |
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"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent"
They stopped being 'swingers' when they r#ped an not awake and vulnerable woman, they became the lowest vile examples of humanity there is..
The case has nothing to do with this aspect.. |
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"Drugging someone to have them **** has no connection to anything on here. Haven't seen anyone mention swinging or any link to anything consensual in any of the reporting. yes some of the men was swingers"
So? One was a soldier. Are all soldiers therefore the same? |
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"What happened today will have a knock on for years in the swinging world. Could not be the worst thing to happen to the swinging world. The bad press the swinging world has got from this trial.
Been saying for years that the swinging world has needed to get its act together. Swinging is not the issue its how it done is. People have got to be sure that the the person is consenting not been made to do it either. Been saying for years things have to change. Do you know how many out there tonight will have no respect for this life style after the events of this trial. Some poeple need the swinging world and the life style. this trail has not helped that in any way. There will be poeple out in the main stream whon will be well put off. Im really angry about the events that have happen France. For years been trying me best for the message to get across that we have to be carful how folk do this. WHO ever comes after you has to be safe going to open this tread see what folk have to say"
Well we are all just a bunch of tarts and not bake bakewell. |
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A husband has SA'd his wife and facilitated others to do so too.
The main onus of this is the husband, doesn't mean we should tar all husbands with the same brush.
Hopefully, it'll make some people behind the times that consent needs to be actively sought. |
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By *iseekingbiCouple 3 weeks ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush"
Absolutely this. They were rapists. All swingers that we know are not rapists.
We simply dont get your point |
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"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush"
Exactly. What a bizarre connection to make. |
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They used a website to orchestrate it called “with her knowledge” (or similar) and had open discussion about her being unwillingly intoxicated and abused whilst she was incapacitated. And her husband took photos and kept them in a folder on his laptop entitled “abuse”
Swingers or not, it was premeditated predatory sexual abuse. By sick individuals with a motive not akin to anything like what swingers have.
Not comparable imo |
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"They used a website to orchestrate it called “with her knowledge” (or similar) and had open discussion about her being unwillingly intoxicated and abused whilst she was incapacitated. And her husband took photos and kept them in a folder on his laptop entitled “abuse”
Swingers or not, it was premeditated predatory sexual abuse. By sick individuals with a motive not akin to anything like what swingers have.
Not comparable imo"
‘Without her knowledge’ I meant to say! |
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"A husband has SA'd his wife and facilitated others to do so too.
The main onus of this is the husband, doesn't mean we should tar all husbands with the same brush.
Hopefully, it'll make some people behind the times that consent needs to be actively sought. "
Let's not forget the numerous other men who did the sex to a woman without having ever communicated directly with her |
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In fairness to the OP, I was listening to the radio about the sentencing this morning and one of the reporters did say that some of the defendants had claimed to be swingers, in effect saying it was a CNC role play.
Of note, there were at least a couple who turned up, but didn’t like the situation and left without having any sexual contact. They were still convicted because they didn’t report their concerns to the authorities.
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I've met several couples on here over the Years, that have been Swinging for years.
Only to find out that some of the Women in their relationships, hated swinging.
Done it simply to please their husband or partner. Hated it so much that they've admitted drinking to excess, for them not to remember the night.
This happens and its horrific  |
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I absolutely agree with the OP that people need to be careful and that consent is always needed and absolutely paramount.
The rest I’m not so sure about. It’s a heinous crime and one that is truly disgusting, I’m not seeing how this impacts upon swinging or ENM though. This was a SA case, those involved didn’t check (or care about) consent. That should be the big thing here; consent. Active, informed and enthusiastic consent |
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"I've met several couples on here over the Years, that have been Swinging for years.
Only to find out that some of the Women in their relationships, hated swinging.
Done it simply to please their husband or partner. Hated it so much that they've admitted drinking to excess, for them not to remember the night.
This happens and its horrific "
This makes me really sad. |
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By *ripfillMan 3 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush"
Agree …. |
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"I absolutely agree with the OP that people need to be careful and that consent is always needed and absolutely paramount.
The rest I’m not so sure about. It’s a heinous crime and one that is truly disgusting, I’m not seeing how this impacts upon swinging or ENM though. This was a SA case, those involved didn’t check (or care about) consent. That should be the big thing here; consent. Active, informed and enthusiastic consent "
Yes. I know it's not universal, but most people I spend time with are very careful about obtaining consent, more so than the vanilla people who discuss that sort of thing. |
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I can see where the OP is coming from. Predators are found in all walks of life but you can understand why some would view the swinging as a good place to access sex. Conversely to the OP, I think it’s likely to make people more vigilant in the scene. I hope so. Gisèle Pelicot is a remarkably brave woman.
Mrs TMN x |
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The former husband was a piece of shit who abused the trust his loving wife and children had placed in him. This has nothing to do with swinging, any more than any of the interests that some of the perpetrators may have also shared. |
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"I absolutely agree with the OP that people need to be careful and that consent is always needed and absolutely paramount.
The rest I’m not so sure about. It’s a heinous crime and one that is truly disgusting, I’m not seeing how this impacts upon swinging or ENM though. This was a SA case, those involved didn’t check (or care about) consent. That should be the big thing here; consent. Active, informed and enthusiastic consent
Yes. I know it's not universal, but most people I spend time with are very careful about obtaining consent, more so than the vanilla people who discuss that sort of thing."
I completely agree |
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It mustn't be forgotten that the male who started the whole disgusting thing off was not only convicted in relation to the abuse of Giséle. He was also convicted of other offences towards other women, including his own daughter and daughter-in-law and the wife of another man. He is also being charged with other offences, including murder and other abused and will be tried at a later date. All this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with swinging. It has everything to do with the casual misogyny that pervades society. Anyone who says or thinks differently is either deluded; wearing rose-tinted glasses or wilfully ignorant. Or if none of these, then part of the problem. |
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"It mustn't be forgotten that the male who started the whole disgusting thing off was not only convicted in relation to the abuse of Giséle. He was also convicted of other offences towards other women, including his own daughter and daughter-in-law and the wife of another man. He is also being charged with other offences, including murder and other abused and will be tried at a later date. All this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with swinging. It has everything to do with the casual misogyny that pervades society. Anyone who says or thinks differently is either deluded; wearing rose-tinted glasses or wilfully ignorant. Or if none of these, then part of the problem."
I agree, although I think casual misogyny has metastasised within swinging. |
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By *batMan 3 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent"
And most of the men were NOT swingers, so I guess it applies to all men. (women too).
It's an appalling case of multiple r@pe and the most horrendous abuse of trust, not swinging.
Gbat |
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By *aitonelMan 3 weeks ago
Away for Christmas |
"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush"
They are both, the ones that have been linked to swinging that is. What they did in this very horrific and vile act is not swinging but by trying to say they are not swingers is less of a "we don't condone this" and more of a "we don't want to associate with" as if it doesn't take part within the swinging community on different levels.
Don't brush it under the rug, challenge it.
Assuming that they have taken part in fully consenting swinging events in the past then they are swingers that took part in a highly preplanned SA, thus also making the rapists. |
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"Forgive me for asking.
But what have the awful events in France, got to do with the ‘swinging world’
I don’t get how you see the two are connected? Cos some of the men sentance were swingers they went with this lady without making sure they had her consent
Then they are rapists not swingers.
Don't tar with the same brush
They are both, the ones that have been linked to swinging that is. What they did in this very horrific and vile act is not swinging but by trying to say they are not swingers is less of a "we don't condone this" and more of a "we don't want to associate with" as if it doesn't take part within the swinging community on different levels.
Don't brush it under the rug, challenge it.
Assuming that they have taken part in fully consenting swinging events in the past then they are swingers that took part in a highly preplanned SA, thus also making the rapists."
I think the point is that Giséle Pelicot did not ever involve herself in swinging. The men who came to the house and perpetuated horrendous acts upon her might claim to be swingers, but that's about the only connection to swinging.
We agree that the swinging world carries huge risk for abuse and assault, there have been several reports in the media of abuses perpetuated via this and other sites and also via dating apps.
The question is - why are there so many cases of abuse? We also know abuse of this nature is under reported, so it is happening even more than we think it is. That's an horrific thing to contemplate.
Why so much abuse?? |
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"I can see where the OP is coming from. Predators are found in all walks of life but you can understand why some would view the swinging as a good place to access sex. Conversely to the OP, I think it’s likely to make people more vigilant in the scene. I hope so. Gisèle Pelicot is a remarkably brave woman.
Mrs TMN x"
Succinct and pretty perfect ✔️. |
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I think I’m seeing what you’re getting at OP
The husband recruited many of the men from a French swinging site using a single man’s account there. That in itself will spark more judgement for the swinging community
I think though that none of these men were swingers, they were r@pi5ts.
I’m not sure I agree that this is bad for the community as an whole either. It may lead to more safety checks, accountability and therefore a safer environment for swinging.
If we (by we I mean the swinging community) react like this trial is bad it smacks of victim blaming. Instead we should be doubling down on safety of its members, calling out bad behaviour and making sure that we believe and support victims of abuse.
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