Hi guys not sure if this is a thing or not?
I've been with my wife 20 Yr and haven't done anything with anyone else.
we started this journey 7 weeks ago.
We are both ready to do something and was close last week if the lady had come onto me I would have went all the way.
I just feel I couldn't touch anyone first I would need her to come onto me to start it.
Possibly worried incase i did something wrong.
I'd hate to be accused of something
Or am I just over thinking it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think you are slightly over thinking things but I also know what you mean.
If you think the mood music is there then a simple “Shall we?” is probably all the situation needs. If she is interested then she can say yes and you are good. If she doesn’t want to then she can simply say no. Take her at her word and go with the flow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You might be over thinking a little.
If you're all in agreement and have discussed boundaries beforehand you should be fine. Reassure the people you meet that if they're uncomfortable they only need to say 'stop' (the same applies to you).
Remember, they're there willingly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We: that's the most important word here.
Work slowly, go to a club that has a great social area, where you can talk and flirt, away from the play areas.
Strike up a rapport and let the night go organically. Jus a simple kiss on the hand, should add a little confidence when saying hello. an Excuse to touch and it's classy too.
You need to tell each and yourselves that you have permission to play. This is a huge mental barrier and it is normal, vanilla has a lot o answer for.
Get over that hurdle, get over your nerve, get on then get off with some nice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We where in a club last time .
The lady said she was fine with anything but I still felt too awkward to touch her .
We had fun with our own partners on the same bed .
I feel we may have swopped or did somthing if I wasn't been as awkward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you don’t feel comfortable then it is perfectly fine not to play. From the way you describe it, it sounds as if she was happy so you wouldn’t have been overstepping the mark. When you are ready then you are ready but don’t rush it before then.
Do what you are happy with and that’s all that matters. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I want to play ...
I just don't want to make the first move lol .
Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.
"
There's no reason why you should make the first move. It could be a mutual thing or you could say something like "would it be ok if I (insert agreed action?" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I want to play ...
I just don't want to make the first move lol .
Maybe after the first time it will be alot easier.
"
Honestly, that used to play on my mind. Then I realised it's just not my thing to 'make a move', certainly not in any overt sense. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
