FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are any of us ‘average’?
Are any of us ‘average’?
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Following on from the threads on skinny & curvy people, I was thinking about the term average. Is it, ironically, the most insulting in the list of body types? Should any of us be describing ourselves or described by others as average?
We hear lots about people owning their body types and rightly so, we are all beautiful to someone no matter how we look. But isn’t average a poor choice of adjective? Don’t you think it encourages people to think of themselves as mediocre, middling, nothing special etc? And, if so, what would be more suitable?
Please folks, let’s not allow this to turn into judgement of actual body types, I’m simply examining the term average and whether there can be one more flattering to those who feel of that appearance. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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Someone has to be based on the criteria you use to measure.
Interestingly, I was living in Stockport a few years ago when a report came out saying that Mr and Mrs Average would live in Stockport.
I never met them. |
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Average body size is used for sizing. Size 16 used to be average for women in the UK. It doesn't mean boring or middling.
I must admit, though, my boobs get way more attention now I'm fat to when I was skinny.
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I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've been in a gym and I can't run the length of myself but I chose athletic to describe myself.
That decision was based not on how I look but on the fact that for most of my life I've considered myself to be average and I made a vow 10 years ago to never refer to myself in that way again.
I was always average height, build, looks and had average abilities and as a result I was also invisible.
I'm not an athlete but I know I'm better than average. |
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By *YDB75Man 6 weeks ago
East Yorkie |
No ive never felt anything as good as average.
Always picked on at school and in the showers.
Never fitted the norm and always an outsider.
Words like chubby’ little dick’ mushroom dick and things like at a young age leave scars that always surface at certain times in life.
So no ive always felt less than average |
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Average is just a mathematical term.
Interestingly the average dress size for a woman in the uk is a size 16, 5ft 3, 11 stone, 34" waist and a size 6 shoe
Sourced from the ONS
I do like statistics  |
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Some people feel more comfortable with self-deprecation than self aggrandisement...
Talking of self-aggrandisement: I personally would never describe myself as average - in body type or anything else...
its all just semantics though
we can use our eyes and our discernment
plus - body type is usually the least interesting thing about people |
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I'm gonna put what I put on another thread:
I'm average dress size
Above average height
Above average shoe size
Above average bra size
Above average level of infirmity for age 39
I think I'm doing alright
 |
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We consider ourselves as “average”. Average means to us as normal, we both have wobbly bits and faults, we don’t take ourselves seriously and we love each other and those around us. What more could you ask for or want from the world of people looking for something different. |
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"Of the body types available on fab it's the one I feel describes me best. "
This is exactly my point, Julie, you chose it (I think) by default because you’re not the choice above or below it. But you certainly aren’t average in any way and it sends the wrong message. Some could allow that to make them start to believe they are average when none of us is.
Apologies everyone else for picking Julie’s post instead of yours, it’s only because I’ve met and know her and can attest her appearance isn’t average in any way. |
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"I'm gonna put what I put on another thread:
I'm average dress size
Above average height
Above average shoe size
Above average bra size
Above average level of infirmity for age 39
I think I'm doing alright
"
You go 👊 |
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As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion. |
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"As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion. "
I kind of agree with this too. Most of us do sit in the average bracket but we each have something about us that isn't average |
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None of it matters, it's all subjective and in the 'eye of the beholder'.
One person's athletic is another's average, ones average is another's curvy and so on.
Don't think any of the descriptions are demeaning, so long as you are comfy in your own skin, just have fun.
In fact I'd go as far as to say that those who think they are special or outstanding, really aren't and they are not for us.
Mrs x
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"As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion. "
I get this and I’m not saying it’s bad. I just think there may be a better term that isn’t so nondescript and is a touch more flattering in a site where we should celebrate all bodily appearances. |
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"I like average. There's a few things I'd rather be more average in.
What would you call it instead Felix?
Normal?"
I have no idea, Prey! It just feels like there could be a better, more positive word 🤷♂️ |
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"As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion.
I kind of agree with this too. Most of us do sit in the average bracket but we each have something about us that isn't average"
Agree, everyone has something special about them. But as everyone does it means to me on average we're all pretty average. I think many of us seek to be extraordinary in some way, we miss the feeling of being content with what we actually have. |
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"I like average. There's a few things I'd rather be more average in.
What would you call it instead Felix?
Normal?
I have no idea, Prey! It just feels like there could be a better, more positive word 🤷♂️"
We isn't average positive? Are the other descriptors positive or are they not up to scratch as well? Mrs x |
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"As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion.
I kind of agree with this too. Most of us do sit in the average bracket but we each have something about us that isn't average
Agree, everyone has something special about them. But as everyone does it means to me on average we're all pretty average. I think many of us seek to be extraordinary in some way, we miss the feeling of being content with what we actually have. "
I think that's when you're happy, when you're content with what you actually are and have. |
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I can think of bigger issues to worry about.
Given that nearly 2/3 of the adults in this country are overweight (roughly a 1/4 are obese), my biggest issue with the Fab use of "average" is it probably doesn't mean what most think it does.
We all like to believe we are special - and to those close to us it's (hopefully) true. To everyone else it isn't. If more people realised this instead of falling for the lie that they are special, the world may not be full of so much self centred behaviour. I'm just a bag of meat, I'm no better than, and very little different to, billions of other humans. When I die, family and friends will care. After a few decades no one will, no one will remember, no one will even know. And that's ok. I'm happy being average - it's a lot more pleasant than being below average and less likely to cause problems than being above.
P |
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"I chose fabulous because I bloody am in my head. I don't really care what anyone else thinks "
This is an awesome alternative adjective. I'm average in terms of physical attributes but I make up for it with above average in my actions. Never stop improving. |
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I think it's too personal to to pin down and all it's really doing is creating a euphemism treadmill, creating more polite or flattering words. In practice they will become the new average, over time.
Changing the signifier does not change what is signified. |
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Maybe I’m guilty of overthinking all this!!
It’s not that it feels a negative word *to me*, I just don’t think it’s a particularly positive word and could be encouraging a lack of body positivity.
But, if I’m in the minority and am overthinking, I shall slowly step backwards into my hedge. |
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"Maybe I’m guilty of overthinking all this!!
It’s not that it feels a negative word *to me*, I just don’t think it’s a particularly positive word and could be encouraging a lack of body positivity.
But, if I’m in the minority and am overthinking, I shall slowly step backwards into my hedge."
I think it's an interesting idea. I just don't think changing a word will change how someone feels about themselves.
If I view average as negative and we change that to something else, it won't be long until that word holds the same meaning to me. |
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"Maybe I’m guilty of overthinking all this!!
It’s not that it feels a negative word *to me*, I just don’t think it’s a particularly positive word and could be encouraging a lack of body positivity.
But, if I’m in the minority and am overthinking, I shall slowly step backwards into my hedge."
Nah I think it's good to remind yourself it's not a bad thing. Which this thread has done, there's so much pressure to be more, when actually life in general is pretty good. |
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By *sWyldWoman 6 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I'd rather be one person's favorite single malt than everyone's cup of tea.
I don't think my body type is average because I see average is someone who is slimmer than I am.
However all these labels are pretty irrelevant as it's individual perception.
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"Average is just a mathematical term.
Interestingly the average dress size for a woman in the uk is a size 16, 5ft 3, 11 stone, 34" waist and a size 6 shoe
Sourced from the ONS
I do like statistics "
According to that... I'm kinda average
But being a redhead and having heterochromia makes me quite rare.
So maybe I'm rarely average? 🤷🏻♀️ |
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"Nothing wrong with average.
A generation of average people picked up rifles and fought Nazi Germany. Now a generation who all think they’re remarkable won’t even pick up a phone. "
Like that saying, can I rob it? Mrs x |
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"As someone who is on the larger size, I'm working towards being average sized. Why is average bad? Is it not just where the majority sit? Which kinda means the majority of us are average. Most of us aren't extraordinary, which is perfectly fine in my opinion.
I get this and I’m not saying it’s bad. I just think there may be a better term that isn’t so nondescript and is a touch more flattering in a site where we should celebrate all bodily appearances."
What about "regular" that's just as vague, but less negative? |
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"Nothing wrong with average.
A generation of average people picked up rifles and fought Nazi Germany. Now a generation who all think they’re remarkable won’t even pick up a phone. Like that saying, can I rob it? Mrs x"
Of course  |
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What is normal?
A word that often goes hand in hand with average
I don't think either are insulting, merely descriptive
There is also a hell of a lot of attraction towards & for those that don't stand out - moreso than there is towards those regarded as 'attractive' (whatever that means)
"Exceptional" people tend to stand out purely based on a very small number of physicalities or traits
In my opinion, attraction is way more to do with subjectivity than it is objectivity - yet, in this instance, we value subjectivity way more than objectivity - I guess because it's personal to us |
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The average will differ, depending on the total population, of course. The mean and median averages will just shift and those who have the attribute will just become another of us, within the whole group. Nothing negative or positive, merely an aspect of the many |
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That’s why I just have my body type as “fabulous “. I don’t know what fab meant by fabulous but I’m using it. I’m not small enough to be just curvy. Not sure I’m big enough to be BBW (or maybe I am) Certainly not athletic. I don’t know where I sit. 🤔 so fabulous it is. |
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"[Removed by poster at 15/12/24 22:02:31]"
Without wishing to invoke Godwins law, but to answer your point, a generation of average people also voted the Nazi party into power and then participated in the holocaust... The average person is a complicated thing with the potential for all kinds of behaviours. It all depends on the stories they're convinced to believe, not on anything uniquely special about any individual. |
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"Average is just a mathematical term.
Interestingly the average dress size for a woman in the uk is a size 16, 5ft 3, 11 stone, 34" waist and a size 6 shoe
Sourced from the ONS
I do like statistics
"
Per earlier post.
I'm average
Above average
Above average
Above average
Above average
The mean outcome is = I'm a chubster with huge feet  |
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"Average is just a mathematical term.
Interestingly the average dress size for a woman in the uk is a size 16, 5ft 3, 11 stone, 34" waist and a size 6 shoe
Sourced from the ONS
I do like statistics "
Find it difficult to believe that 5ft 3 and 11 stone would be a size 16 dress.
I am 5ft 3 and if I weighed 11 stone my dress size would be a 10. (At least that was my dress size the last time I weighed 11 stone) But I suppose it depends on lots of things. |
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I think on here it’s easy to get sucked into believing everyone is a 10. (Yuck, I hate that ‘scoring’ system) Our photos are all our best angles with clever lighting and there are some seriously aesthetically pleasing people about.
But actually, we’re all people.
I’m distinctly average in pretty much all ways (my boobs are slightly bigger than the norm I guess!) but that’s ok.
It is what it is, I can’t change it and it’s just a factual thing (height for example, 5ft 6 makes me neither tall or short 🤷♀️ ) so there’s no point in getting hung up on it.
Same as for those who have preferences for athletic builds or bbw as an example, there will be those who have preferences for average too (thank goodness!) |
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By *ags73Man 6 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I think on here it’s easy to get sucked into believing everyone is a 10. (Yuck, I hate that ‘scoring’ system) Our photos are all our best angles with clever lighting and there are some seriously aesthetically pleasing people about.
But actually, we’re all people.
I’m distinctly average in pretty much all ways (my boobs are slightly bigger than the norm I guess!) but that’s ok.
It is what it is, I can’t change it and it’s just a factual thing (height for example, 5ft 6 makes me neither tall or short 🤷♀️ ) so there’s no point in getting hung up on it.
Same as for those who have preferences for athletic builds or bbw as an example, there will be those who have preferences for average too (thank goodness!)"
Sometimes we need to turn things on its head.
No-one is anything, we’re all special, we’re all weird and we’re all dysfunctional (some might believe that they’re not)
Average is just meh. We think we all fit into the crowd walking into a busy place, we think no-one notices our good features whether physical or personality.
We think no one wants to shag us, loads stay in bad relationships as there’s a genuine fear that no-one else would want them.
That’s not the case, there’s always something going on with someone that another person will like or see in them.
Travel to the light, see what’s good in you, believe a compliment or at least don’t dismiss it instantly.
Here endeth Rags misguided and futile attempt at positivity |
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"I think on here it’s easy to get sucked into believing everyone is a 10. (Yuck, I hate that ‘scoring’ system) Our photos are all our best angles with clever lighting and there are some seriously aesthetically pleasing people about.
But actually, we’re all people.
I’m distinctly average in pretty much all ways (my boobs are slightly bigger than the norm I guess!) but that’s ok.
It is what it is, I can’t change it and it’s just a factual thing (height for example, 5ft 6 makes me neither tall or short 🤷♀️ ) so there’s no point in getting hung up on it.
Same as for those who have preferences for athletic builds or bbw as an example, there will be those who have preferences for average too (thank goodness!)"
I'm a perfect 10. But I wear a 16 (or on occasion, 18)  |
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By *ags73Man 6 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I think on here it’s easy to get sucked into believing everyone is a 10. (Yuck, I hate that ‘scoring’ system) Our photos are all our best angles with clever lighting and there are some seriously aesthetically pleasing people about.
But actually, we’re all people.
I’m distinctly average in pretty much all ways (my boobs are slightly bigger than the norm I guess!) but that’s ok.
It is what it is, I can’t change it and it’s just a factual thing (height for example, 5ft 6 makes me neither tall or short 🤷♀️ ) so there’s no point in getting hung up on it.
Same as for those who have preferences for athletic builds or bbw as an example, there will be those who have preferences for average too (thank goodness!)
I'm a perfect 10. But I wear a 16 (or on occasion, 18) "
She keep a lil 6 for me.. |
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It shows lack of self confidence to me. 
Damn straight I am 
