How the hell do you actually date successfully this day in age?
The sites are incredibly expensive - any help?
I'm unnaturally shy and struggle to meet / talk to a woman in day to day life - unless it's me mum lol.
single pringles need your help!! |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Not sure I can help as I've given up...
Tried Tinder, etc and they were shit. Seems that unless you look like Adonis then you get nowhere, or at least I didn't get anywhere.
I've decided to try some singles events in the new year and maybe join a singles activity club.
The thing is, as I explore myself post break-up I'm discovering that I don't want a monogamous LTR but think an FWB or two is the way forward and I don't think dating apps are any good there. |
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By *sWyldWoman 10 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Please don't think it's only difficult for men. It's horrible for women too.
Maybe our expectations are too high, maybe we have put up with so much BS that we no longer tolerate anything that doesn't make us happy, maybe men and women are now all too jaded?
Whatever it is, it's a minefield and it shouldn't be so hard.
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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There's too many people just advertising their services, theirof profiles or social media for more followers. It's better to avoid online dating and go out there. I think anyway, I don't know how to speak to people when I'm out |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"Please don't think it's only difficult for men. It's horrible for women too.
Maybe our expectations are too high, maybe we have put up with so much BS that we no longer tolerate anything that doesn't make us happy, maybe men and women are now all too jaded?
Whatever it is, it's a minefield and it shouldn't be so hard.
"
I get that. I've spoken to a few women who say they're bombarded by knobs (literally and figuratively) so the good guys get missed or overlooked.
I also think that dating has become so polarising due to all the "guru's" faux feminism, alpha male coaching, etc that it's really so hard just to meet someone, have more than a superficial conversation and get to know them without having to tick all their sub-conscious boxes just to progress to round 2. |
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Go out any where and talk to anyone you don't fancy. Look around the place and use what about to ask a question..
Like supermarket see a person you don't fancy look close by see some milk and ask a question around milk.
Keep doing it until it feels normal.
Then when you do find one you like it will feel normal.
Once a day for week do something you know your get rejected.
Then increase to two time aday.
Then being rejected is nothing.
Remember its a numbers game.
Not everyone will like you.
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An increasing number of people are leaving online dating. It's stale.
OP. You could do voluntary work, doing great stuff for society and meet others who do the same thing. Otherwise, find people with similar hobbies etc, by doing activities and learning. I've done volunteering since school and have made many friends |
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I'm not sure if my experience of dating is modern enough as it was nearly 10 years ago.
I was a single parent to very young kids (the youngest was 1) so all my experience is from online dating. Used the main sites like POF and Tinder for free and also a site called OK Cupid. Free versions are restrictive in some ways but usable enough for free. It's a bit of a surreal world when you get matching with people and very flakey. It can be a bit rubbish. However I did get to go on a quite a few different dates and met a range of different women. Which was nice and I genuinely enjoyed because most of them were pretty decent women even if not for me chemistry wise. So overall a positive experience which lead to a couple of short flings to see where it goes. Alas none of them were quite right.
So it's a bit of a gruelling process and often frustrating. However if it's an consolation from talking to the women I've met it's very much the same frustrating and disappointing process for them too. Personally I'm glad I don't have to do it again (although it was an education).
But it's a means to an end to find what you want. Ironically for me I gave up on serious dating and decided to keep to enjoying the swinging scene and NSA fun with others. And then I met Mrs Misfit on here (who likewise didn't want a relationship). So sometimes it just comes and finds you.
Mr
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"Get offline and talk to people IRL. Men and women. Sociability is top of the agenda. A good conversationalist with a bit of cheeky humour beats a sullen gym bunny. "
Let's all be silent and use sign language instead |
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"Get offline and talk to people IRL. Men and women. Sociability is top of the agenda. A good conversationalist with a bit of cheeky humour beats a sullen gym bunny.
Let's all be silent and use sign language instead "
Which is still talking isn’t it. |
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The internet has killed the art of proper dating by making it possible to lie to shedloads of people at once, in the hope that someone will believe enough of what you say, and vice versa. Possibly a cynical view but there's some truth in it.
If you really want to start a relationship, real life is far better than online. Personally I'd recommend dance classes, or choose something else that you'd quite like to learn. That way you get to meet real people (sometimes VERY close up) and if you don't make any connections, at least you've acquired a skill that might help un future! |
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