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How do you get the connection you need?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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We're social animals and need social interactions and part of the reason why mental health is such an issue, particularly in middle age men, is because after divorces and breakups, we often have very small social circles.
So where do you go to get the connection when it's not just banter down the pub with a mate that you feel you need?
And if you're in a couple, are you good at giving what your partner needs, as well as getting what you need? Loneliness can often be a crowded room. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 10 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
My family is my social circle. I've literally made no proper friendships in the 20 years I've lived in the UK, and the half dozen old uni friends I know who moved over here as well are only in sporadic contact. My late wife and my daughter were my social circle.
I now rely on my daughter, who still lives at home, after recently finishing uni. But I'm fully aware that in the next few years she'll probably move away for work or to study further - and she's got a bf, too. People have lives and don't stay tied to their parents. That's how it should be.
I'm not sure what I'll do then. I planned to grow old with my soulmate, but she passed too early.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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"My family is my social circle. I've literally made no proper friendships in the 20 years I've lived in the UK, and the half dozen old uni friends I know who moved over here as well are only in sporadic contact. My late wife and my daughter were my social circle.
I now rely on my daughter, who still lives at home, after recently finishing uni. But I'm fully aware that in the next few years she'll probably move away for work or to study further - and she's got a bf, too. People have lives and don't stay tied to their parents. That's how it should be.
I'm not sure what I'll do then. I planned to grow old with my soulmate, but she passed too early.
"
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I totally get the small social circle thing after a break up - I am my own worst enemy because I am appalling at keeping in touch and, if I am honest, I like my own company. I am what you would call a gregarious loner.
I am lucky in that there are people on here who I can reach out to if I need to and I also make an effort to go to the gym regularly so I have also built a small group there. Throw in the kids as well and that suits me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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"I totally get the small social circle thing after a break up - I am my own worst enemy because I am appalling at keeping in touch and, if I am honest, I like my own company. I am what you would call a gregarious loner.
I am lucky in that there are people on here who I can reach out to if I need to and I also make an effort to go to the gym regularly so I have also built a small group there. Throw in the kids as well and that suits me."
Sounds like a plan...
Live the gregarious loner tag, I think I might adopt it. |
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Honestly, I don’t think I need any.
I have small but lively family circle and I’m also happiest on my own.
When I feel the need to venture out a little bit, a Fab social, or more, suits me well and I’m happy to return to my aloneness shortly after.
Rinse and repeat, it’s all good. |
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"We're social animals and need social interactions and part of the reason why mental health is such an issue, particularly in middle age men, is because after divorces and breakups, we often have very small social circles.
So where do you go to get the connection when it's not just banter down the pub with a mate that you feel you need?
And if you're in a couple, are you good at giving what your partner needs, as well as getting what you need? Loneliness can often be a crowded room."
We're each others best friend as well as being together forever. We have all the connection we need with each other  |
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