"Nowt as queer as folk and their ghosting behaviour. I'm sad to say I'm used to it, but I've learned how to walk away without needing closure now  "
Yes, move on, inconsequential people ,will never know what they might have missed. |
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"Is this just stopping messaging or after meeting?
"
Supposed to be meeting today.
We were talking about different foods we like.
Then nothing for 24 hrs i asked why have you gone quiet. got blocked 🚫 |
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If it is a repeat thing (and I guess the “again” means it is) then I think you need to look at how you are verifying someone is who they say they are.
OP I don’t know what you are doing to check these people are real but it looks like it isn’t working. You need to change that. |
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Why is it when a man, woman or couple come on these pages to say they've been ghosted it's all "their loss" etc (especially if it's a female complainant) and generally the ghoster is a bad person. Could it be the person who's posted has said something that the person they're talking to doesn't like and a massive red flag has been raised?
#onlyonesideofthestory |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If it is a repeat thing (and I guess the “again” means it is) then I think you need to look at how you are verifying someone is who they say they are.
OP I don’t know what you are doing to check these people are real but it looks like it isn’t working. You need to change that."
This 100%
I don't tend to invest too much time and energy in anyone I don't know with 100% certainty is real.
Otherwise it's just words on a screen.
I wouldn't make plans to meet anyone that I hadn't spoken to on the phone/via video for anything other than a coffee in a location I was going to be visiting anyway. That way if they didn't show I've lost nothing. 🤷♂️ |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Why is it when a man, woman or couple come on these pages to say they've been ghosted it's all "their loss" etc (especially if it's a female complainant) and generally the ghoster is a bad person. Could it be the person who's posted has said something that the person they're talking to doesn't like and a massive red flag has been raised?
#onlyonesideofthestory"
Also this. 👌 |
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As much as it stings just keep on swimming. We fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up again. Focus on yourself and growing as a person. Done is done so find something to look forward too or indulge in the right now. |
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"Is this just stopping messaging or after meeting?
Supposed to be meeting today.
We were talking about different foods we like.
Then nothing for 24 hrs i asked why have you gone quiet. got blocked 🚫 "
She's probably married or a bloke  |
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Social interactions are changing, there’s definitely an increase in timewasters or those that ‘flake out’… committing to plans and then cancelling at the last minute, ghosting or just not showing up. There is an increasing tendency to overbook / overcommit. Human nature and the challenge of ‘affective forecasting’ are contributing to flaking. People are overestimating their future emotional state and levels of commitment and this is leading to a mismatch between initial intentions and desire and actual behaviour. This is especially relevant to our swinging world, being in a state of fantasy and feeling aroused, pictures, video, messages, porn…. and then the issues and pressures of an actual physical meet start to take affect, anxiety, lack of real world confidence etc.
The day of the meet, practical considerations and immediate feelings will outweigh the abstract commitments, the arousal and desire and will result in a higher likelihood of not following through with plans. |
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