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Time wasters discuss
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
Have you noticed the amount of time wasters on here !
And people how don’t put any effort in to a meet and just expect everyone else to do all the work for them, with little to no effort on their part.
Had it the other night put all the effort in only to get catfished and a wild goose chase.
Boils my piss |
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What do you define a timewaster as? People who have a fixed arrangement with you and don't turn up?
As most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, the vast majority of engagement will come to nothing but it needed the chats to filter out those who didn't match. |
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I only really put in what I get out. If I was the last person to message, then it'll be a few days before I check up on them, just make sure everything is okay and they're not having a shit time or whatever.
If you find that you're always having to spoon-feed people conversation, I'd slow down a bit. The whole point is to have fun. If that's not happening, I change what I'm doing. Dealing with the same negative experience over and over isn't going to help at all. |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"What do you define a timewaster as? People who have a fixed arrangement with you and don't turn up?
As most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, the vast majority of engagement will come to nothing but it needed the chats to filter out those who didn't match. "
People that arrange a meet and agree a time and place and then are a no show |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"I think this is a you issue OP - if someone is not interested and you have to chase them then that should be a big flashing warning sign that any “meet” is not going to happen."
I was not chasing anyone thank you you’ve just made an assumption then jumped to your own conclusions so I think that’s a you problem |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
Maybe I put this out a little wrong I meant hard work in to getting ready looking nice clean showered you know making the effort arranging a time and a place to meet and this was with good communication from both sides.
Get to the place and message to say that I’m here and waiting only to be blocked and left that’s what I mean a wild goose chase sorry all |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"This week I’ve had two no shows with some stupid excuses "
I had nothing like that just got blocked and was quite a bit of a drive for a complete waste of time and I’m sorry you had two no shows.
I’ve reported them but this site should give feedback as I pay for gold membership |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"See I'd soon lose interest in someone who expected me to do all the work. So I'd never get as far as a meet with them.
If people seem like hard work, they generally are op, don't chase them. "
thank you for the advice |
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According to other threads there are no timewasters  .
All you can do is interact with well verified profiles and follow your gut instinct. Personally we arrange to meet at a club, when they don't turn up we still have a good night. Then we add it in to private notes on their profile. |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"According to other threads there are no timewasters .
All you can do is interact with well verified profiles and follow your gut instinct. Personally we arrange to meet at a club, when they don't turn up we still have a good night. Then we add it in to private notes on their profile. "
Thank you for the advice |
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I think social interactions are changing, there’s definitely an increase in timewasters or those that ‘flake out’. I think we are all sensing that people are flaking a lot more than they used to… committing to plans and then cancelling at the last minute, ghosting or just not showing up. I think it’s more common amongst certain generations and personality traits, low conscientiousness, a lack of concern for others (bad manners?) and also a tendency to overbook / overcommit. I also firmly believe our online and social media lives and habits are driving this remove from real life. For example I’ve noticed my kids and others of their generation will do anything to avoid making a realtime phone call, they hate being put on the spot and doing things on the fly - emails and messaging allow them time to think and formulate… avoid saying anything stupid..
Human nature and the challenge of ‘affective forecasting’ contribute to flaking. People are overestimating their future emotional state and levels of commitment and this is leading to a mismatch between initial intentions and desire and actual behaviour. This is especially relevant to our swinging world, being in a state of fantasy and feeling aroused, pictures, video, messages, porn…. and then the issues and pressures of an actual physical meet start to take affect, anxiety, lack of real world confidence etc.
The day of the meet, practical considerations and immediate feelings will outweigh the abstract commitments, the arousal and desire and will result in a higher likelihood of not following through with plans.
Modern Life is rubbish. |
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 7 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"I think social interactions are changing, there’s definitely an increase in timewasters or those that ‘flake out’. I think we are all sensing that people are flaking a lot more than they used to… committing to plans and then cancelling at the last minute, ghosting or just not showing up. I think it’s more common amongst certain generations and personality traits, low conscientiousness, a lack of concern for others (bad manners?) and also a tendency to overbook / overcommit. I also firmly believe our online and social media lives and habits are driving this remove from real life. For example I’ve noticed my kids and others of their generation will do anything to avoid making a realtime phone call, they hate being put on the spot and doing things on the fly - emails and messaging allow them time to think and formulate… avoid saying anything stupid..
Human nature and the challenge of ‘affective forecasting’ contribute to flaking. People are overestimating their future emotional state and levels of commitment and this is leading to a mismatch between initial intentions and desire and actual behaviour. This is especially relevant to our swinging world, being in a state of fantasy and feeling aroused, pictures, video, messages, porn…. and then the issues and pressures of an actual physical meet start to take affect, anxiety, lack of real world confidence etc.
The day of the meet, practical considerations and immediate feelings will outweigh the abstract commitments, the arousal and desire and will result in a higher likelihood of not following through with plans.
Modern Life is rubbish."
I have to agree with you on this |
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"Have you noticed the amount of time wasters on here !
And people how don’t put any effort in to a meet and just expect everyone else to do all the work for them, with little to no effort on their part.
Had it the other night put all the effort in only to get catfished and a wild goose chase.
I totally agree..I would be considered and OG (been here since 2008) and the vibe back then was soo much more genuine/real....nowadays the amount of catfishing and time wasters blows my mind.
Boils my piss "
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"I think social interactions are changing, there’s definitely an increase in timewasters or those that ‘flake out’. I think we are all sensing that people are flaking a lot more than they used to… committing to plans and then cancelling at the last minute, ghosting or just not showing up. I think it’s more common amongst certain generations and personality traits, low conscientiousness, a lack of concern for others (bad manners?) and also a tendency to overbook / overcommit. I also firmly believe our online and social media lives and habits are driving this remove from real life. For example I’ve noticed my kids and others of their generation will do anything to avoid making a realtime phone call, they hate being put on the spot and doing things on the fly - emails and messaging allow them time to think and formulate… avoid saying anything stupid..
Human nature and the challenge of ‘affective forecasting’ contribute to flaking. People are overestimating their future emotional state and levels of commitment and this is leading to a mismatch between initial intentions and desire and actual behaviour. This is especially relevant to our swinging world, being in a state of fantasy and feeling aroused, pictures, video, messages, porn…. and then the issues and pressures of an actual physical meet start to take affect, anxiety, lack of real world confidence etc.
The day of the meet, practical considerations and immediate feelings will outweigh the abstract commitments, the arousal and desire and will result in a higher likelihood of not following through with plans.
Modern Life is rubbish."
This 👆 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"... I also firmly believe our online and social media lives and habits are driving this remove from real life. For example I’ve noticed my kids and others of their generation will do anything to avoid making a realtime phone call, they hate being put on the spot and doing things on the fly - emails and messaging allow them time to think and formulate… avoid saying anything stupid...
"
Gosh, this is so true. My daughter and her friends are all thoughtful, confident, top university-educated people in their early 20s. She (and they) are glued to Discords and Instagram to communicate. They'd rather spend 3x as long typing a message and fret waiting for an answer than speak on the phone. The number of times I've said "Why don't you just phone them - then you can ask what you want to know in seconds."... It's even worse when it comes to phoning strangers at a shop or business. I understand this - I had social anxiety about doing it as well in my late teens; the difference is,I didn't have a choice, and I had to confront my anxieties and grow. Messaging technology and apps give then all the option to avoid that.
 |
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"... I also firmly believe our online and social media lives and habits are driving this remove from real life. For example I’ve noticed my kids and others of their generation will do anything to avoid making a realtime phone call, they hate being put on the spot and doing things on the fly - emails and messaging allow them time to think and formulate… avoid saying anything stupid...
Gosh, this is so true. My daughter and her friends are all thoughtful, confident, top university-educated people in their early 20s. She (and they) are glued to Discords and Instagram to communicate. They'd rather spend 3x as long typing a message and fret waiting for an answer than speak on the phone. The number of times I've said "Why don't you just phone them - then you can ask what you want to know in seconds."... It's even worse when it comes to phoning strangers at a shop or business. I understand this - I had social anxiety about doing it as well in my late teens; the difference is,I didn't have a choice, and I had to confront my anxieties and grow. Messaging technology and apps give then all the option to avoid that.
"
It drives me nuts! “JUST CALL ME / YOUR MOTHER / THE PERSON!!” 🤯 |
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By *bi HaiveMan 7 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Maybe I put this out a little wrong I meant hard work in to getting ready looking nice clean showered you know making the effort arranging a time and a place to meet and this was with good communication from both sides.
Get to the place and message to say that I’m here and waiting only to be blocked and left that’s what I mean a wild goose chase sorry all "
Couple of questions.
Did you speak to them on the phone beforehand or meet for a social, or was it all done via messages on here?
Did you check in with them on the day of the planned meet before getting ready and travelling?
*oh....and the site doesn't owe any specific actions due to gold membership or any other site supporter status. We're all responsible for ourselves own activity and meets. You can report as a no show of course, but that will always be one person's word against another.
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By *ecky124 OP TV/TS 6 weeks ago
Middlewich |
"Maybe I put this out a little wrong I meant hard work in to getting ready looking nice clean showered you know making the effort arranging a time and a place to meet and this was with good communication from both sides.
Get to the place and message to say that I’m here and waiting only to be blocked and left that’s what I mean a wild goose chase sorry all
Couple of questions.
Did you speak to them on the phone beforehand or meet for a social, or was it all done via messages on here?
Did you check in with them on the day of the planned meet before getting ready and travelling?
*oh....and the site doesn't owe any specific actions due to gold membership or any other site supporter status. We're all responsible for ourselves own activity and meets. You can report as a no show of course, but that will always be one person's word against another.
"
I didn’t speak to them over the phone
I did message them on the day and up to 30 mins before the arranged meet
And I messaged again when at the place of meeting when I arrived
I got no response from them and 10 minutes later I checked my messages only to find I’d been blocked |
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"I think this is a you issue OP - if someone is not interested and you have to chase them then that should be a big flashing warning sign that any “meet” is not going to happen."
So what about if the person you were supposed to meet continued to keep contact with you up until the time they were supposed to meet you, then they don't turn up and block you?? |
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Yup and yup this entire year except with the exception of 1 social meet has been nothing but single fellas pretending to be in a couple, time wasters and just no shows. If this year had gone to plan I'd have around 12 New verifications. They truly do ruin it for genuine people |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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At this point fab is filled with people looking to create an entire fantasy from a conversation, get some mad thrill from it and the next day or two, you're not hearing from them again..it's really annoying |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I got told that I'm too well spoken or I write too well to be true when I'm actually a part time writer... couldn't believe the audacity if it all especially when their profile asks for effort in messaging |
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"Maybe I put this out a little wrong I meant hard work in to getting ready looking nice clean showered you know making the effort arranging a time and a place to meet and this was with good communication from both sides.
Get to the place and message to say that I’m here and waiting only to be blocked and left that’s what I mean a wild goose chase sorry all "
Oh that is really horrible OP, I'm so sorry that happened to you
Unfortunately there are a lot of fantasists on fab, who are more than happy to get off at other people's expense.
I don't have any tips on how to avoid it happening again, but definitely block the current loser and move on xx
In the meantime, lets flip the coin and put all that prep to good use - get your glam on and take some sexy pics 😘😘😘
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!"
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨 |
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"I think this is a you issue OP - if someone is not interested and you have to chase them then that should be a big flashing warning sign that any “meet” is not going to happen.
So what about if the person you were supposed to meet continued to keep contact with you up until the time they were supposed to meet you, then they don't turn up and block you??"
This happened to us with a single woman, well verified by meets and despite our insistence to meet a local pub/bar, she was very much like 'come over, don't worry'. We got blocked half an hour before and thankfully we checked her profile! Can you imagine how awkward it would have been if we had actually proceeded to her address!!  |
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"I think this is a you issue OP - if someone is not interested and you have to chase them then that should be a big flashing warning sign that any “meet” is not going to happen.
So what about if the person you were supposed to meet continued to keep contact with you up until the time they were supposed to meet you, then they don't turn up and block you??
This happened to us with a single woman, well verified by meets and despite our insistence to meet a local pub/bar, she was very much like 'come over, don't worry'. We got blocked half an hour before and thankfully we checked her profile! Can you imagine how awkward it would have been if we had actually proceeded to her address!! "
Hmmm I wonder if it actually was her address, or just some random one she chose? |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨"
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol"
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing. |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing. "
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read  |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read "
Literally from the FAQ's
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?” |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read "
Do you reply to every piece of unsolicited mail you recieve...I.e emails, letters, flyers through the post???? It's your choice to message whoever...they don't owe you a reply and it's certainly not rude. |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
Literally from the FAQ's
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?”"
Hahaha still not understanding how someone getting 100s of messages can stop them having time to put NO!!!??
I just want a no so I can block profiles and filter fab out!!!
If my tattoos don't make me stand out I dunno what will lol but i give up on trying to get conversations on here!!! I use it for something too look at now when bored lol |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
Do you reply to every piece of unsolicited mail you recieve...I.e emails, letters, flyers through the post???? It's your choice to message whoever...they don't owe you a reply and it's certainly not rude."
Hahahah I'm seeing a few women are not getting the point it's all good though claim down  |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do ."
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!! |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!"
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!"
Can I ask how the outcome would be different if someone just sent 'no', as opposed to not actually answering? 🤔 |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict.
So you can't say no and block lol"
As I say, the sooner you work out the norms of the site, the better experience you'll have, lol. |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict."
I give up on this site along time ago lol
I just watch vids hahahah if I want a meet I go on better apps where you can get a conversations |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict.
I give up on this site along time ago lol
I just watch vids hahahah if I want a meet I go on better apps where you can get a conversations "
Cool. Why bother arguing about it then? |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict.
I give up on this site along time ago lol
I just watch vids hahahah if I want a meet I go on better apps where you can get a conversations
Cool. Why bother arguing about it then?"
Lol who's arguing I'm reply too stupid messages getting left in here kinda funny tho keep it going |
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"Dont you think at times real life get in the way ... Work, Family, Having a bug loads going around. I just think people maybe should say but maybe think they will get a ear full if they do .
I don't really know what your going on about lol women keep bringing up their life's lol
I'm say if you got time to read the message you've clearly got time to say no!!!!
People have been arguing this since the beginning of time. It won't change anything.
Saying no just opens you up to abuse. Some people get hundreds and hundreds of messages. Saying "no" at least doubles the amount of time spent, even before you have to deal with the inevitable "but why", the insults, the threats.
The norms are laid out in the FAQ. Someone has helpfully put them in the thread for you. If you don't care to learn them, you'll continue to have a bad time with this internal conflict.
I give up on this site along time ago lol
I just watch vids hahahah if I want a meet I go on better apps where you can get a conversations
Cool. Why bother arguing about it then?
Lol who's arguing I'm reply too stupid messages getting left in here kinda funny tho keep it going "
I've had public exchanges like this for years with guys just like you. The "it's so funny, you're so stupid" stance tends to give way to a more overt temper tantrum.
And still, delete without reply remains a no, and I still find the repeat of this angst entertaining. |
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"All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read "
·
Unfortunately most women on here witness a sad phenomena where their "No" becomes interpreted as a "Yes" and then further interpreted as "keep persevering". Hence why they no longer bother with a response whatsoever. I don't blame them and it's their prerogative to ignore and move on. It's not rude. It's just Fab Life.
Most men of wisdom accept this quite early on in their Fab journey and acclimatise pretty quickly, leading to more fruitful experiences. A few obstinate men, however, refuse to adapt and continue with their plight on these types of threads, further perpetuating their angst. |
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"You think i feel entitled on a swingers site!!! Hahahaha behave man!!!! Most the women i message are out here bare backing alot of guys why would I wanna be entitled to that ??? Lol"
If you took it that way...that's ob you. As they say, if the shoe fits |
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"All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
·
Unfortunately most women on here witness a sad phenomena where their "No" becomes interpreted as a "Yes" and then further interpreted as "keep persevering". Hence why they no longer bother with a response whatsoever. I don't blame them and it's their prerogative to ignore and move on. It's not rude. It's just Fab Life.
Most men of wisdom accept this quite early on in their Fab journey and acclimatise pretty quickly, leading to more fruitful experiences. A few obstinate men, however, refuse to adapt and continue with their plight on these types of threads, further perpetuating their angst."
This post got out of hand fast I dint come here to blame anyone and I don't feel entitled to anything on here!!! I'm not looking for a fab journey!!!! I'm not even arsed about meeting!!! Just wanted to know what happend to the reply on here, not the first profile iv had on here been on and of for years but the lack of conversation has never been this bad!!! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
·
Unfortunately most women on here witness a sad phenomena where their "No" becomes interpreted as a "Yes" and then further interpreted as "keep persevering". Hence why they no longer bother with a response whatsoever. I don't blame them and it's their prerogative to ignore and move on. It's not rude. It's just Fab Life.
Most men of wisdom accept this quite early on in their Fab journey and acclimatise pretty quickly, leading to more fruitful experiences. A few obstinate men, however, refuse to adapt and continue with their plight on these types of threads, further perpetuating their angst.
This post got out of hand fast I dint come here to blame anyone and I don't feel entitled to anything on here!!! I'm not looking for a fab journey!!!! I'm not even arsed about meeting!!! Just wanted to know what happend to the reply on here, not the first profile iv had on here been on and of for years but the lack of conversation has never been this bad!!!"
The thing with conversations is that they are a two way street, based on interest and possible attra lion to eachother.
Otherwise it's just one person talking at another.
A message isn't a conversation until the other person responds. Up to that point it's just a message. No different to a spam email or sales pitch.
Not getting a reply is generally a clear sign it's never going to grow from one to another. |
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"All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
·
Unfortunately most women on here witness a sad phenomena where their "No" becomes interpreted as a "Yes" and then further interpreted as "keep persevering". Hence why they no longer bother with a response whatsoever. I don't blame them and it's their prerogative to ignore and move on. It's not rude. It's just Fab Life.
Most men of wisdom accept this quite early on in their Fab journey and acclimatise pretty quickly, leading to more fruitful experiences. A few obstinate men, however, refuse to adapt and continue with their plight on these types of threads, further perpetuating their angst.
This post got out of hand fast I dint come here to blame anyone and I don't feel entitled to anything on here!!! I'm not looking for a fab journey!!!! I'm not even arsed about meeting!!! Just wanted to know what happend to the reply on here, not the first profile iv had on here been on and of for years but the lack of conversation has never been this bad!!!
The thing with conversations is that they are a two way street, based on interest and possible attra lion to eachother.
Otherwise it's just one person talking at another.
A message isn't a conversation until the other person responds. Up to that point it's just a message. No different to a spam email or sales pitch.
Not getting a reply is generally a clear sign it's never going to grow from one to another. "
I agree with this.
But also - my profile (not everyone's profile, just mine) is a target rich environment. Lots to pull out and discuss. (Saying you've read it isn't enough. I wasn't born yesterday. Show, don't tell) Most people manage slightly more effort than "hi". Or possibly less - the copy pastes are easier to spot than people think. (Of late guys tell me that they're perving on my gorgeous pictures. Which one, the hair or the parsnip?!)
Not everyone has the same standards and will reply to scattergun messages. I can't speak to them. I reply when I'm interested *and* they show some sign they've engaged with my profile text (which I did not write to amuse myself. I wrote it to give people something to go on) |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
Literally from the FAQ's
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?”
Hahaha still not understanding how someone getting 100s of messages can stop them having time to put NO!!!??
I just want a no so I can block profiles and filter fab out!!!
If my tattoos don't make me stand out I dunno what will lol but i give up on trying to get conversations on here!!! I use it for something too look at now when bored lol"
Also looking at replies. It helps to add people to my block list. |
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"Dunno about time wasters but I know women get alot of messages but why do most read your message than just be ignorant as fuck why not just say not for me lol ??????!!!
I would say that no reply, IS your reply.
I have over 900 unread messages - apart from the time it would physically take me to open, read, send a response.. Its likely that 90% would write back to thank me for replying or wanting to know why I'm not interested etc or would try to persuade me to change my mind.
We do have real lives along with our fab lives 🫨🫨
I get all this!!! But at the sametime they is message filters and why say read my profile before messaging soo you do and take the time too send a message to get ignored???, that's why I don't take time too write messages anymore!!! Just keep it simple lol
I wonder if you realise just how entitled you sound... Let's say 25 men per day read a woman's profile and 20 decide that they 'met the criteria'and message - woman reads all the messages, reads their profile, looks at pics, location, age, list of shared activities, verifications etc...out of the weekly 140 messages, she maybe decides that 2 might match her criteria
She owes you nothing.. Nothing.
I think your reading too much into it!!!!
All I'm saying is if you read the message just say a NO!!! So we know where we stand!!!!
And if we take the time to read your profile and take the time to write a message just think it's ignorant to leave you on read
Literally from the FAQ's
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?”
Hahaha still not understanding how someone getting 100s of messages can stop them having time to put NO!!!??
I just want a no so I can block profiles and filter fab out!!!
If my tattoos don't make me stand out I dunno what will lol but i give up on trying to get conversations on here!!! I use it for something too look at now when bored lol
Also looking at replies. It helps to add people to my block list."
Amen  |
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"
Also looking at replies. It helps to add people to my block list.
Amen
I said I was sorry 😭
Not you. Some of the people making comments. Not the kind of people I'd care to converse with."
I was joking, don't worry  |
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