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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.
What should I do x |
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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
"Sorry OP
I would like to say to you, look for a regular, but it's hard to find. I haven't found it yet for myself either
"
I wish I could. No one seems interested I just feel like giving up. And have no one to talk to |
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By *ucka39Man 11 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"I so do I’ve tried but I’m scared she will feel forced to be intermet and I just want her to want me again "
Hiya
Your only solution is to talk about it with her, then you know where things are and figure out where your next steps |
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I'm sorry to hear this. I can't stress this enough that you really need to discuss this whole matter with your wife.
Without knowing the full setup it •appears• that she has changed the dynamic of your arrangement where she is able to fulfill all her desires and leave you within the realms of celibacy. In doing so it appears to be 'borderline' infidelity, of sorts, on her part. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.
What should I do x"
Chin him |
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You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.
Talk to her, make it clear how you feel. If she can’t or won’t make changes to the arrangement you will need to decide if this is a life you’re prepared to settle for or whether you deserve better for yourself.
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By *tu.xMan 11 weeks ago
around |
"So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.
What should I do x"
tell her its not working for you see what she suggests you might not like the answer but at least you can choose to stick or twist |
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"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.
Talk to her, make it clear how you feel. If she can’t or won’t make changes to the arrangement you will need to decide if this is a life you’re prepared to settle for or whether you deserve better for yourself.
"
Nail on head. |
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I can’t figure out what the problem is from your post OP, sounds like an ideal situation for many 😂😂
Seriously , what is you want ? Sexual relationship with your wife, her to end with her fb , or a fb of your own and a sexless marriage , I think once you figure that out you’ve solved 99% of this simple little puzzle |
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By *assy69Man 11 weeks ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.
Talk to her, make it clear how you feel. If she can’t or won’t make changes to the arrangement you will need to decide if this is a life you’re prepared to settle for or whether you deserve better for yourself.
"
this
OP, i hope you manage to move on, either int he relationship you have, or just to move on |
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By *veenBeeTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Winchester |
"So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.
What should I do x"
This must be the example why the open relationship is a bad idea... sorry but thank you.... |
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By *ornycougaWoman 11 weeks ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
"You’ve been friend zoned in your marriage.
Talk to her, make it clear how you feel. If she can’t or won’t make changes to the arrangement you will need to decide if this is a life you’re prepared to settle for or whether you deserve better for yourself.
"
This. Couldn't have put it better. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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As someone Nero eloquently put it you have been friend zoned in your own relationship for another man.
It’s a heartbreaking situation and if she is not willing to talk about it and get to the root of the problem.
You have some tough decisions ahead, it’s already getting to you and if it doesn’t change that pain and resentment is only going to get worse.
If it was me, i couldn’t have a relationship with someone who no longer desired me but desired someone else.
I would consider her actions as self centred and would have to decide if I could live like this.
I hope you have someone close to talk things through to decide what the best course of action to take.
Good luck and i hope things get better for you whatever the outcome 🙏 |
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"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x"
I’m a bit late to the thread but I’m so sorry, i hope you come to a decision about what you want and grow stronger from it.
Personally, I’d say you deserve better but only you know what makes you feel valued. |
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Similar happened to a former workmate. He and his wife enjoyed swinging but decided to change the dynamic by finding a bull for her. Long story short, the bull started to dictate the arrangement, told my mate he couldn't fuck his wife as she was the bull's property. His wife didn't like what was happening but couldn't stop seeing the bull. The bull moved in and my mate was told to sleep in the spare room. After a few weeks the bull told my mate to leave. He found a flat but was so hurt by what had happened his work suffered. I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me the whole story. He then quit work and I lost touch with him.
A few years later we were on a work's do and some old colleagues turned up. I asked them if anyone had heard from him and was told that all they knew was him and his wife had split up and he'd taken his own life.
You need to talk to your wife and find out where you stand. I don't want what happened to my mate to happen to you
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By *veenBeeTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Winchester |
"Similar happened to a former workmate. He and his wife enjoyed swinging but decided to change the dynamic by finding a bull for her. Long story short, the bull started to dictate the arrangement, told my mate he couldn't fuck his wife as she was the bull's property. His wife didn't like what was happening but couldn't stop seeing the bull. The bull moved in and my mate was told to sleep in the spare room. After a few weeks the bull told my mate to leave. He found a flat but was so hurt by what had happened his work suffered. I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me the whole story. He then quit work and I lost touch with him.
A few years later we were on a work's do and some old colleagues turned up. I asked them if anyone had heard from him and was told that all they knew was him and his wife had split up and he'd taken his own life.
You need to talk to your wife and find out where you stand. I don't want what happened to my mate to happen to you
"
I'm so sorry for him but that sounds pretty fucked up!! How can a man let another man to do that in his own house?? |
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"I’m not sure. Suppose look for someone to fill that gap in our relationship x"
Do you propose to stay together? I know marriages can take many forms so I'm not advocating separation but are you happy with that? |
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I am honestly staggered by all this. Not just the OP, but also that other guy who took his own life.
Swinging is a wonderful lifestyle but I imagine, for couples, it takes a very healthy relationship as the bedrock and continuous care, respect and trust for each other as individuals and as a couple.
Without all that it seems only too easy to end up down a dark path.
OP, all I can say is you have as much worth as your wife and you deserve respect. |
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"So me and wife were swingers but 5 years ago we met and guy who became her regular fuck buddy now boyfriend. And we haven’t slept together for over three months yet she still sees him. And only him. I’m so lonely what should I do I don’t want to split them up but I don’t want to leave and every time I bring sex up I feel like it’s not wanted so I stop or she tells me to.
What should I do x
Chin him"
Not really a helpful comment... |
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You don't say how long you've been married etc but without sounding to harsh for your wife to so easily friend zone you their must have been other issues.
We have known a few couples that thought swinging or a open relationship would paper over the cracks and it just make them cracks even bigger.
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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
"So update. Yep I’ve been friendzoned spoke to her today and I’m no longer desired x. Thanks for everyone’s help x
Oh that's rough..I'm sorry.. if you ever need a chat my inbox is open xx"
Many thanks x |
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By *ony MannMan 11 weeks ago
Lagos, Portugal// Andover |
You do need to talk to your wife, find out what she wants and tell her what you want.
Then you need to decide where you want to go. Do you want to stay with her or move on.
You are not the first in this position and will not be the last. One man moved in the a famous wife and the famous husband moved to a different room.
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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x
Why are you tolerating it?
(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to  )"
I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x |
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"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x
Why are you tolerating it?
(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to )
I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x"
But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt? |
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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x
Why are you tolerating it?
(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to )
I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x
But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt?"
I’d rather me hurt than her hurt x |
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"You do need to talk to your wife, find out what she wants and tell her what you want.
Then you need to decide where you want to go. Do you want to stay with her or move on.
You are not the first in this position and will not be the last. One man moved in the a famous wife and the famous husband moved to a different room.
"
Then you'll be the next one to slap a comedian at the Oscars... |
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"Been together 20 years and had a fantastic relationship just ever since she met this guy x
Why are you tolerating it?
(Use reply+quote so we know who you're replying to )
I don’t want to hurt her she says she loves us both but seems me more as a friend x
But she's hurting you. Why do you tolerate that hurt?
I’d rather me hurt than her hurt x"
I see. Then I wish you all the best. |
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By *rcraig OP Man 11 weeks ago
alfreton |
Thankyou every one who posted. Even the ones that some people think were wrong in what they were saying. I listened to you all and it helped. Time to get on with things now and stop feeling sorry for myself. Too much fun to be had xx |
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