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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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How did/would you raise the subject of indulging in an open/swinger relationship?
In the past I've had mixed reactions. One good and we had a blast for a few years. One bad and it pretty much killed the relationship. And one where I was too afraid to mention it and missed an opportunity as she went on to meet a swinger and is still swinging today. |
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Be up front from the very beginning about the kind of relationship you want.
No point getting involved with someone incompatible and trying to change them later. No point sitting in a relationship that doesn't leave you fulfilled 💜 |
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Begin by talking about attraction to other people and see how that evolves.
I am quite a strong believer that being able to have those conversations openly and exploratively with a partner is beneficial regardless of whether the relationship becomes open to other people sexually. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Be up front from the very beginning about the kind of relationship you want.
No point getting involved with someone incompatible and trying to change them later. No point sitting in a relationship that doesn't leave you fulfilled 💜"
Same page here.
In the past I've been happy with vanilla but now I want what I want. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Begin by talking about attraction to other people and see how that evolves.
I am quite a strong believer that being able to have those conversations openly and exploratively with a partner is beneficial regardless of whether the relationship becomes open to other people sexually."
Completely agree. A closed book in my experience is hiding something. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"We had the fantasy chat and went from there.
Mrs "
I've done this before and think they're great fun if nothing else. Again, I've learned to be wary of someone who's closed to that kind of conversation. Just because something is a fantasy, doesn't mean it's something you actively want to pursue or prioritise it over the relationship. But some of the girls I've dated haven't shared that opinion and think if I say I like the idea of something then I am trying to get it and if they don't like it then it's a threat. |
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"Begin by talking about attraction to other people and see how that evolves.
I am quite a strong believer that being able to have those conversations openly and exploratively with a partner is beneficial regardless of whether the relationship becomes open to other people sexually.
Completely agree. A closed book in my experience is hiding something."
Whether they are or they aren't, the festering nature of the unspoken can do the damage by itself. |
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If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
"
😆😆 I actually had the thermostat discussion quite early on. It was an important one too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
"
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on... |
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on..."
It's all about negotiation but even a fwb arrangement is a relationship and if boundaries and expectations aren't clearly stated and managed it can all go horribly wrong and one or both get hurt. The most basic of human relationships need clear communication |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on...
It's all about negotiation but even a fwb arrangement is a relationship and if boundaries and expectations aren't clearly stated and managed it can all go horribly wrong and one or both get hurt. The most basic of human relationships need clear communication "
Completely agree but with an FWB the thermostat question can at least be minimal...  |
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on...
It's all about negotiation but even a fwb arrangement is a relationship and if boundaries and expectations aren't clearly stated and managed it can all go horribly wrong and one or both get hurt. The most basic of human relationships need clear communication
Completely agree but with an FWB the thermostat question can at least be minimal... "
 . Very true but if I was anyone's fwb it would need to be up high |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on...
It's all about negotiation but even a fwb arrangement is a relationship and if boundaries and expectations aren't clearly stated and managed it can all go horribly wrong and one or both get hurt. The most basic of human relationships need clear communication
Completely agree but with an FWB the thermostat question can at least be minimal...
. Very true but if I was anyone's fwb it would need to be up high "
I'm sure you're gutted but will get over it but it's a no from me then... |
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"If I had to start a new relationship (god forbid) I would be up front from the start about everything, from small things like how high I like the thermostat to where we would potentially live. I haven't got enough time to waste.
I'm leaning very much into the FWB direction... Permanently dating so all that shit doesn't matter. You come to mine, you bring a jumper or get under the duvet with me. If I go to yours then I'll put my Speedos on...
It's all about negotiation but even a fwb arrangement is a relationship and if boundaries and expectations aren't clearly stated and managed it can all go horribly wrong and one or both get hurt. The most basic of human relationships need clear communication
Completely agree but with an FWB the thermostat question can at least be minimal...
. Very true but if I was anyone's fwb it would need to be up high
I'm sure you're gutted but will get over it but it's a no from me then... "
It will be difficult but I'll carry on with my day 😊 |
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