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The Three Loves Theory
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"Number four Love honey. Doesn’t let you down…." Unless you buy a faulty inflatable lover  | |||
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"Number four Love honey. Doesn’t let you down…." 👏👏👏👏👏 | |||
"It's pretty romanticised, but not without some merit. We can learn about ourselves through intimacy with others and grow together - that's been a beautiful thing in my experience and whilst it may not be unique, it is quite rare. I wouldn't trade any of those shared experiences for a thousand titillating transactional dalliances Sternberg's triangular theory of love is more comprehensive in my opinion. " I agree. I could my own thoughts on this but you have said what I wanted to. X | |||
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"The first 2 aren't love. Love isn't fleeting, that's just lust/infatuation. The other is what couples will claim they have but the majority have just settled. " 
I do believe in the last one but it doesn’t just come from nowhere , you create it by the thousands of actions you choose to do for each other over time. Then you know it and it’s very hard to break. | |||
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"The first 2 aren't love. Love isn't fleeting, that's just lust/infatuation. The other is what couples will claim they have but the majority have just settled.
I do believe in the last one but it doesn’t just come from nowhere , you create it by the thousands of actions you choose to do for each other over time. Then you know it and it’s very hard to break."Not saying the last one doesn't exists, it's just very rare and most couples don't have that. It's engrained in us to "find the one", so when you meet someone and the lust wears off, you stay with them. Because it's comfortable, it's easy, it's better than been alone right? | |||
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"Love......... It begins and ends with the self It is impossible to not love all unconditionally, when you realise who you are and your place amongst others... Love spoken about here tends to mean ' i fancied him' or 'she lets me fuck her' or 'he's a good laugh' etc etc..... none of which are love." Very true. The misuse of the word has led to it being devalued. | |||
"The theory says we will fall in love three times. The First Love This love feels like a fairy tale. It’s that all-consuming puppy love and one that, at the time, you think will last forever. Often we experience our first love in high school, and usually it ends because the two people either grow apart or because of some trivial argument that the relationship simply isn’t strong enough to withstand. This love is usually more surface level, with more importance placed on how the relationship might look to others. While it certainly feels like true love at the time, it’s not usually the deep, raw love that you’ll experience later on. The heartbreak can feel immense, initially, but you usually recover from it quickly. The Intense Love This is the second love, and it’s usually the one that turns our world upside down. As we fall into this intense love story, the relationship becomes a mirror into our soul: we see all our insecurities, our needs, and our desires staring back at us. In this relationship, we may experience jealousy, fear, and self-doubt that we’ve never felt before. The relationship comes with massive highs and dramatic lows. We often try to mold the other half into our perfect partner, and we try to mold ourselves to become theirs. This is the love that feels like a rollercoaster and the one that can leave us feeling guarded, distrusting, and hurt. The heartbreak from this relationship can be indescribably painful, but it is also through this heartbreak that we really grow, change, and evolve while finding the inner strength and resilience we didn’t know we had. The Unconditional Love After we’ve recovered from the heartbreak of the intense love and we’ve begun to heal and cultivate self-love, then comes the unexpected love. The one that comes from nowhere and feels just completely and utterly right. There are no games, and when you are with them you simply feel like you are home. You embrace all that they are, all their imperfections, and all their nuances. You feel more yourself with them than you ever have before, and you constantly inspire each other to be the best versions of yourselves. When you face an obstacle or a challenge in the relationship, you work together to overcome it because you are both committed to your future. This is the unconditional love that marks the beginning of forever, and you thank the universe every day for bringing them into your world. Nice theory. I guess I've just had the Intense Love. Not sure I have the time or inclination for the Unconditional Love though." Sounds like utter nonsense to me! | |||
"The first 2 aren't love. Love isn't fleeting, that's just lust/infatuation. The other is what couples will claim they have but the majority have just settled.
I do believe in the last one but it doesn’t just come from nowhere , you create it by the thousands of actions you choose to do for each other over time. Then you know it and it’s very hard to break.
Not saying the last one doesn't exists, it's just very rare and most couples don't have that. It's engrained in us to "find the one", so when you meet someone and the lust wears off, you stay with them. Because it's comfortable, it's easy, it's better than been alone right?
"This was true in the past, but I’m not sure it’s true today. Most marriages end in divorce, and many people we speak to (here, but also out there in the real world) is either currently single or has been divorced at least once. | |||
"The first 2 aren't love. Love isn't fleeting, that's just lust/infatuation. The other is what couples will claim they have but the majority have just settled.
I do believe in the last one but it doesn’t just come from nowhere , you create it by the thousands of actions you choose to do for each other over time. Then you know it and it’s very hard to break.
Not saying the last one doesn't exists, it's just very rare and most couples don't have that. It's engrained in us to "find the one", so when you meet someone and the lust wears off, you stay with them. Because it's comfortable, it's easy, it's better than been alone right?
This was true in the past, but I’m not sure it’s true today. Most marriages end in divorce, and many people we speak to (here, but also out there in the real world) is either currently single or has been divorced at least once. "And the majority are looking for someone else are they not? Just look on here, I'd say 95% are looking for "the one" if they're single. | |||
"The first 2 aren't love. Love isn't fleeting, that's just lust/infatuation. The other is what couples will claim they have but the majority have just settled.
I do believe in the last one but it doesn’t just come from nowhere , you create it by the thousands of actions you choose to do for each other over time. Then you know it and it’s very hard to break.
Not saying the last one doesn't exists, it's just very rare and most couples don't have that. It's engrained in us to "find the one", so when you meet someone and the lust wears off, you stay with them. Because it's comfortable, it's easy, it's better than been alone right?
"I agree with almost all of that. And of course when the NRE fades what remains may not be a forever thing, it probably isn't. However, couples being comfortable together can be an indication that it's a good relationship? I'm sure some settle, but then I am just as sure some settle for cycling through experiences of initial lust. | |||
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"It's pretty romanticised, but not without some merit. We can learn about ourselves through intimacy with others and grow together - that's been a beautiful thing in my experience and whilst it may not be unique, it is quite rare. I wouldn't trade any of those shared experiences for a thousand titillating transactional dalliances Sternberg's triangular theory of love is more comprehensive in my opinion. I agree. I could my own thoughts on this but you have said what I wanted to. X" That felt touching, thank you. I hope you besties are enjoying your explorative adventures 🥰 x | |||
