FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you be friends with someone you find attractive
Can you be friends with someone you find attractive
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *EAT..85Woman 12 weeks ago
Nottingham |
Yes.
I have one relationship like this. There are constant internal conversations over whether to flirt/touch/kiss them. It's hard work sometimes. But I'd rather keep their friendship than have nothing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
|
Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?
I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.
I had a friend at uni that was stunning but she wasn't interested. We were actually very compatible as friends and enjoyed each others company but knew it would never be anything else. I accepted that and enjoyed the friendship. Obviously, if she changed her feelings then great but I'd want to know that it was genuinely for the right reasons. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
|
"Yes.
I have one relationship like this. There are constant internal conversations over whether to flirt/touch/kiss them. It's hard work sometimes. But I'd rather keep their friendship than have nothing. "
This, 100% |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
|
"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?
I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.
I had a friend at uni that was stunning but she wasn't interested. We were actually very compatible as friends and enjoyed each others company but knew it would never be anything else. I accepted that and enjoyed the friendship. Obviously, if she changed her feelings then great but I'd want to know that it was genuinely for the right reasons."
Very much the relationship I have with a couple of friends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?
I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.
I had a friend at uni that was stunning but she wasn't interested. We were actually very compatible as friends and enjoyed each others company but knew it would never be anything else. I accepted that and enjoyed the friendship. Obviously, if she changed her feelings then great but I'd want to know that it was genuinely for the right reasons."
It is a case of, does the friendship have its core be about the attraction and wanting to bang or is it simply just a friendship that happens to have an attraction |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You can be friends with someone that you find attractive, and quite often the sanctity and integrity of the friendship will keep those boundaries intact. That doesn't mean you don't have urges. Urges are just private thoughts that remain steadfast within your mind (mostly), only betraying you when you engage in platonic but well intentioned tactility, often nonreciprocal. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes if it's out in the open. When you want to bang each other it can start getting complicated though.
It can be kind of funny too.
"So basically if we fuck we'd be hoping it's not too good, because then we'd probably have to leave our partners for each other."
"I wouldn't want to leave her, I love her"
"I've never loved anyone like this, I can't share that, I don't want to"
😢 Kind of crazy when you can cry and laugh together about something like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
|
"Interesting thought around this but just because you want to bang someone, can you not be friends?
I'd say it's possible to be friends with someone you fancy providing you're both open and honest, and then respectful.
I had a friend at uni that was stunning but she wasn't interested. We were actually very compatible as friends and enjoyed each others company but knew it would never be anything else. I accepted that and enjoyed the friendship. Obviously, if she changed her feelings then great but I'd want to know that it was genuinely for the right reasons.
It is a case of, does the friendship have its core be about the attraction and wanting to bang or is it simply just a friendship that happens to have an attraction "
I guess the flip side is that for a relationship to be successful then you must be friends at the core as the physical attraction may change over time and isn't enough to sustain a long term relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
"
Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself? "
Pecan piiiiiiieeee. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Julie, dear friend, are you talking to yourself?
Pecan piiiiiiieeee. "
Oh, I think Pickle is watching that. Silly me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If the reason for the friendship is based upon the fact you find fhem attractive and hope it will lead to more then for me it’s friendship for the wrong reason
I base friendship on many things and never on looks
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hiversMan 12 weeks ago
Dinas Powys |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her."
They absolutely can. I have several attractive female friends and I wouldn't dream of trying anything because I value their friendship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t think that persons really a friend if you ‘secretly’ want to bang them.
I have one, she knows I would but she would want more , she’s not into just sex, so we agreed not to. We went on holiday together , shared a bed even, she even got pissed and got her boobs out and asked me if they were great tits. Took a lot of will power not to bang her but I know it’s not what she wants and would ruin what we have |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman 12 weeks ago
. |
Yes, easily. I think all of my friends are attractive. They're a beautiful group of people. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. Far from it. That being said... there's one friend where we flirt with the idea of more from time to time but then remember we're both too dear to each other. And too similar. z
Sometimes I think people like to keep a friendship going when they know the other person is attracted to them, even if it would be far, far healthier to let them be free, because they like the ego boost and the attention.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes of course and yes you might want to bang them, but if you’re not banging them when you fancy them there will be a reason why you’re not. Perhaps the attraction is not mutual, or you’re both in a relationship and want to be faithful. As long as whatever is preventing the sex from happening remains in place, you can be just friends.
I think a partner might struggle with it if they know the whole picture tho, so you might want to keep your feelings under wraps. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *avexxMan 12 weeks ago
cheshire |
"Yes, easily. I think all of my friends are attractive. They're a beautiful group of people. It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. Far from it. That being said... there's one friend where we flirt with the idea of more from time to time but then remember we're both too dear to each other. And too similar. z
Sometimes I think people like to keep a friendship going when they know the other person is attracted to them, even if it would be far, far healthier to let them be free, because they like the ego boost and the attention.
"
.... this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Of course... but if its unbalanced it can break the friendship if the one who wants to bang can't or doesn't respect the friendship boundaries. Messages can get mixed /draining real fast
If the other person is aware then they also need to think about whether they are just holding onto the friendship for access to an on-tap confidence boost. It's very tricky.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think women are fantastic (sooo much better than us men!) and once you get to know someone, you typically find all sorts of things about them really attractive (intelligence, for me, is a huge turn-on).
My ex 'work wife' is a great example; We worked on tons of stuff together and are still really close. She'd be considered VERY attractive (even if we are just talking in pure 'looks' terms) and I'd love to sleep with her for sure.
If it happens one day, well fab, but it was never the reason we are friends, and I'm sure we are both mature enough that if it ever did happen, then things would still be totally fine (it would only ever be FWB). I'm also close friends with several of my Exs and still find them really attractive, even after what's gone down with us.
I think, in general, most (maybe all!) men have a (somewhat warped!) perception that they have a chance with 'all women'. That's perhaps where the notion that you can't have attractive platonic friends comes from; so there is always a underlying "I'm up for it" on the male side of things 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
They absolutely can. I have several attractive female friends and I wouldn't dream of trying anything because I value their friendship."
It's a quote from When Harry Met Sally. Where the OP took his thread title from. Not what I believe. 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
|
Absolutely can be friends with women I'm attracted to. If we've established that it's just a friendship and nothing more, I won't pursue anything more, unless it happens naturally and equally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
