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Can you be a bit more...
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By *eli OP Woman 12 weeks ago
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direct.
When it comes to being direct with people on Fab, whether it's saying yes or no, flirting, rearranging/postponing... how you feel about someone etc. How good are you at being direct?
Do you prefer people to be direct with you?
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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It’s important to be open , honest and direct . Everyone vision of the world and things is different so setting the stall out from the beginning is good .
As for me being direct if I have to I will but try to please all . |
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By *eli OP Woman 12 weeks ago
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"It’s important to be open , honest and direct . Everyone vision of the world and things is different so setting the stall out from the beginning is good .
As for me being direct if I have to I will but try to please all ."
Sometimes people find it difficult though. Or a situation doesn't call for it. Or they don't want to hurt someone or embarrass themselves. All of those are valid reasons. |
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I don't think I can be much more direct.
I'll joke about things now and again and sarcasm is close to my mother tongue. But I tend to be very direct to direct questions, or when I'm certain of my feelings on something 💜 |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Oh, absolutely as direct as I need to be. Some people just don't take hints.
Depends on the context of what is being said, the situation, the relationship or dynamic with a person. There are many factors and I tailor it accordingly, but ultimately I'm direct most of the time.
And I would definitely prefer to have it the same in return.
I've had issues in the past, where people have blatantly ignored what I've said, although it's always clear and polite. Say I've refused wanting to pursue more from casual, in the most friendly and polite way. They've made up their own minds about what I've said and then I'm suddenly the bad guy, because it hasn't gone their way. 😂
Not from here, by the way. Back when I used the apps.
I tried to get my point across three times with one person, by being direct. Eventually I just had to walk away, which I felt bad about. But again, some people just don't listen. 🙄
Being direct while chatting and having some naughty fun? Most definitely, although it does depend if we're at that stage. Even then, implied and cheeky comments are still just as fun as saying exactly what you want. 🤭 |
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I sometimes think being direct is an excuse to be rude, which for me is unnecessary. Honesty is a little different. Being honest allows you to say exactly what you mean, without the intention of upsetting someone. That doesn’t mean you can always avoid pain - that’s impossible - but directness almost revels in the possibility of upset. Honesty doesn’t have to do that. |
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By *eli OP Woman 12 weeks ago
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"I find even giving a clear 'no, because' has little effect on the internal hope that people continually fan"
Do you think you're direct? When it comes to flirting etc, clear in intent.
People will interpret things as they want to, you can guide it but there are so many factors that influence how someone interprets what you say. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"I sometimes think being direct is an excuse to be rude, which for me is unnecessary. Honesty is a little different. Being honest allows you to say exactly what you mean, without the intention of upsetting someone. That doesn’t mean you can always avoid pain - that’s impossible - but directness almost revels in the possibility of upset. Honesty doesn’t have to do that. "
Yeah, I agree with that. Some do use it as an excuse. But then honesty can have exactly the same results, whether you intended to hurt someone's feelings or not.
Their reaction can still be irrational, regardless of the content and how politely you've said it. You can't control how a person will react, no matter how much you try to avoid a scene or upset.
Being direct and being honest can be used at the same time. In fact being honest IS being direct in a way. You're saying exactly how you feel or giving your opinion, with absolute truth. That's surely the definition of honesty?
You can sugarcoat things, or word it in a way that might soften the blow. But you're still giving your honest opinion in a direct way. Being direct isn't always being horrible. 😄 |
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Being direct here is a tricky one OP.
I rather someone is Direct with me, no harm done either way.
But being Direct with someone here when I'm not interested is not as easy as you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and having being very direct when I got here first and having things turn nasty as a result,, it's a line best threaded lightly. |
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By *eli OP Woman 12 weeks ago
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"I’m a true Northerner; I say it as I see it. My forum posts should give regular followers a good idea of that, so feel assured I am very much the same in person  "
Do you think you have followers?  I don't know why but that particular way of phrasing it has really tickled me. Followers. |
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"I’m a true Northerner; I say it as I see it. My forum posts should give regular followers a good idea of that, so feel assured I am very much the same in person
Do you think you have followers? I don't know why but that particular way of phrasing it has really tickled me. Followers. "
I have no doubts at all, that I feature on many a ‘Notlist’……. The ‘Green Arrow’ reveals much  |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"I like people being direct with me as long as they have a filter. Some things don't need to be said.
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Exactly. You don't need to hear all the reasons why a person isn't interested. Just a simple "No, thank you." is good enough. 😄 |
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A question of many parts! Thanks, Mellster.
Forum flirting - it’s fun and frequently a bit silly when I do it
If I actually like someone - I’ll tell them. Because why not? Otherwise you’ll never know.
If I’ve built a relationship with someone it can be more difficult for me to be direct at times. There are more emotions involved and potentially more to lose. I have got better at it, though. I’ve definitely got better at asking for clarity from others, it’s been really helpful.
I don’t conflate being direct and being rude. It’s more being honest and unambiguous to me. It’s a quality I very much appreciate in others.
Mrs TMN x
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I appreciate directness and I am pretty good with being direct.
Sometimes being direct can mean saying I am not sure how I feel about someone though.
There's a whole liminal space for me between finding someone to be attractive and wanting to have sex with them. So I'm quite mindful of that.
I am playful, sarcastic and can be quite flirtatious but I try to be clear and explicit about feelings and making arrangements. I don't see any value in being playful about those things. There's a difference between playfulness and mind-games, or just being plain dishonest. |
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. I try not to be. And yeah much prefer people to be direct with me, whether I like what they have to say or not. 