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Distance Meets
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I guess some will cancel, and others will travel.
I met a guy off here, and he travels from glasgow to north of aberdeen to see me - about 190 miles each way! |
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I wouldn't travel purely for a meet. If I knew I was going to be in Manchester then I might look for a meet.....
"
I've met guys then - a few times. I have also met someone in London and in Kent as I was in that area at the time. That is perfectly understandable. But saying that you will drive for several hours for a meet and then head back? It's not realistic. |
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I guess some will cancel, and others will travel.
I met a guy off here, and he travels from glasgow to north of aberdeen to see me - about 190 miles each way! "
I wonder if that is common though. Great that you have someone who genuinely will travel, though. I have had a few say they will and then don't. |
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"I wouldn't travel purely for a meet. If I knew I was going to be in Manchester then I might look for a meet.....
I've met guys then - a few times. I have also met someone in London and in Kent as I was in that area at the time. That is perfectly understandable. But saying that you will drive for several hours for a meet and then head back? It's not realistic."
That would be like being at work!
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We used to meet a lady who lived around a hundred miles away. And she couldn't accom or drive. So we used to pick her up and have her over for a weekend then take her back . It was worth the effort. We became great friends and even tho she doesn't swing anymore we are still intouch |
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I accommodate meets but that doesn't mean that bed and breakfast is on the agenda. Plus I don't guarantee anything on a first meet anyway. Wouldn't expect anyone to travel miles to discover it just isn't going to happen. I wouldn't travel to far for a meet either. Now a party or a social is a different matter.  |
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I accommodate meets but that doesn't mean that bed and breakfast is on the agenda. Plus I don't guarantee anything on a first meet anyway. Wouldn't expect anyone to travel miles to discover it just isn't going to happen. I wouldn't travel to far for a meet either. Now a party or a social is a different matter. "
That's what I mean! Imagine travelling miles like that only to find you don't hit it off and nothing is going to happen. Bloody long way for a coffee! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When budget allows, I would book a cheap room at the local budget hotel, and invite the gent to come and join me.
If he does not show, I would write him as well as the room off, and head home.
I may have lost the cost of a room and a bit of time, however, I am not going to lose any sleep over it, and life is too short etc. etc...
 |
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"I accommodate meets but that doesn't mean that bed and breakfast is on the agenda. Plus I don't guarantee anything on a first meet anyway. Wouldn't expect anyone to travel miles to discover it just isn't going to happen. I wouldn't travel to far for a meet either. Now a party or a social is a different matter. "
I'd be happy to skip the breakfast!  |
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Haven't met outside of Brighton except for a coffee a few miles away and I bought a book there as well. I don't think I'd meet anyone more than about 30 mins drive away. Although I guess it depends on the person....a useless uninformative post. Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't travel purely for a meet. If I knew I was going to be in Manchester then I might look for a meet.....
I've met guys then - a few times. I have also met someone in London and in Kent as I was in that area at the time. That is perfectly understandable. But saying that you will drive for several hours for a meet and then head back? It's not realistic."
I agree with that too, work on the basis if I cannot travel to them, I don't want them travelling to me, after all the first meet is a social, long way for a coffee really and on that basis am thinking again of reducing my distance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
I travel but often combine with an overnight hotel stay which I make clear. I have no problem visiting or having them at my hotel as long as they don't wreck it. I think many problems occur when people aren't clear in expansing themselves. People don't usually take offence more the opposite if you are honest and open with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
Always been my experience that a guy is prepared to travel and have done up to 3 hours, one guy doing so two days in a row, the first day no play and second day no guarantee of play.
I think if people are of the mindset they don't mind travelling then they will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
I don't live far away   |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
I will travel for a meet (went from cambridge to plymouth for a weekend) but only if i've got to know the person via the site / phone etc.
To arrange a meet with someone who's a fair distance away is a bit absurd in my opinion, especially if you aren't staying in the same town the night. I think the cancellations you are getting sort of says it all really.
If I was in Manchester (or any town) for the day or night then perhaps arranging a meet would make sense, but even then it would more than likely try to be with someone i've been chatting to for a while or have pre-arranged it rather than last minute messages saying meet me now.
I'd stick to what you're doing and avoid people making such claims of proposterous travel. It may limit who you play with but at least you'll have a better chance of actually playing with someone rather than getting a no show or someone totally tired out from the journey |
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?
I will travel for a meet (went from cambridge to plymouth for a weekend) but only if i've got to know the person via the site / phone etc.
To arrange a meet with someone who's a fair distance away is a bit absurd in my opinion, especially if you aren't staying in the same town the night. I think the cancellations you are getting sort of says it all really.
If I was in Manchester (or any town) for the day or night then perhaps arranging a meet would make sense, but even then it would more than likely try to be with someone i've been chatting to for a while or have pre-arranged it rather than last minute messages saying meet me now.
I'd stick to what you're doing and avoid people making such claims of proposterous travel. It may limit who you play with but at least you'll have a better chance of actually playing with someone rather than getting a no show or someone totally tired out from the journey "
Erm, that's the point of my post. As I said 'in the past'. I quickly learned not to bother with people of quite some distance as, like I said, when push comes to shove they usually end up cancelling. I don't get 'no shows' like this anymore (only had one in the event anyway and learned from that). I simply asked what people thought of 'long distance' meets as I have been getting a lot of offers and wondered what other people's opinions were. |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?
I will travel for a meet (went from cambridge to plymouth for a weekend) but only if i've got to know the person via the site / phone etc.
To arrange a meet with someone who's a fair distance away is a bit absurd in my opinion, especially if you aren't staying in the same town the night. I think the cancellations you are getting sort of says it all really.
If I was in Manchester (or any town) for the day or night then perhaps arranging a meet would make sense, but even then it would more than likely try to be with someone i've been chatting to for a while or have pre-arranged it rather than last minute messages saying meet me now.
I'd stick to what you're doing and avoid people making such claims of proposterous travel. It may limit who you play with but at least you'll have a better chance of actually playing with someone rather than getting a no show or someone totally tired out from the journey
Erm, that's the point of my post. As I said 'in the past'. I quickly learned not to bother with people of quite some distance as, like I said, when push comes to shove they usually end up cancelling. I don't get 'no shows' like this anymore (only had one in the event anyway and learned from that). I simply asked what people thought of 'long distance' meets as I have been getting a lot of offers and wondered what other people's opinions were."
erm didn't i give my thoughts on long distance meets when i started off saying
"...I will travel for a meet (went from cambridge to plymouth for a weekend) but only if i've got to know the person via the site / phone etc.
To arrange a meet with someone who's a fair distance away is a bit absurd in my opinion, especially if you aren't staying in the same town the night..."  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have travelled and had people travel to see me which have both worked fine.
But we always have always spoken for a quite while leading up to us meeting and have got a feel for each other.
I have not had any problems doing this.
Of course nothing is guaranteed people can always change their mind on either side I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to stick to the under 45 mins drive/travel rule as for me if someone had spent longer then that to travel yo meet me I'd feel far too obliged to play with them, even if I wasn't really into it. I'm also very clear that I don't do stay overs and when at home in the Mids stick to club meets as I'm really not comfortable going to a guys place.
All that said I have been known to travel 185 miles (each way) for a meet, but I already knew him and he's the best meet I've ever had. He's moving to aus and I'd consider going down there to see him too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive done a couple of distance meets but knew they would be worth the while.
I think if you like someone a couple of hours travel for a fantastic meet is worth it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We used to meet a lady who lived around a hundred miles away. And she couldn't accom or drive. So we used to pick her up and have her over for a weekend then take her back . It was worth the effort. We became great friends and even tho she doesn't swing anymore we are still intouch"
Thats a nice thing to do. I think that because I dont drive is one of my problems even for guys who live only 30 mins away from me, but saying that there is one special exception |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
Im no expert but I think it sounds like they are just messing you about. If they have no intention of meeting you, unpleasant as it is sometimes, they should just say so. Someone genuine will pop up im sure |
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I always meet for a coffee first so have regularly told guys that though they may be happy to travel a long way for a hot beverage i am not happy for them to - in my experience the distance thing becomes a lever, kind of like a pity thing "you mean you'd let me travel all that way for just a coffee hint hint" 
When i turn them down they sometimes get annoyed because they say they should have the choice to travel but when i can get plenty of offers from my own city why would i consider guys who are so far away that even if they are great i couldn't call them one afternoon and say im free in an hour have you got any free time and get a hot last minute meet.
And during this debate tried colours show and they usually say something like "it would never just be coffee though would it" even after I've made it clear that that's all that's on the cards for the first meet. |
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I have travelled to Leeds, Manchester, soon going to London and planning a trip further North...for some play time, well I sure hope it won't be just coffee but nothing is ever certain. There is always something new to discover when travelling!
For a social meet, a coffee and a chat? 45 mins max as the OP said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We travelled back to the UK south east for our first ever meet,with another couple both very nervous, great night dinner, drinks onto a club back to the hotel to our own rooms, and left it at that but got the feeling the male was defiantly after more.
In hindsight an expensive first social meet, you live you learn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The furthest i have traveled is Liverpool, but i did stay more than one night and only because i had met the guy on a couple of occasion's before. But I don't think that i would do it all the time, much prefer to be nearer home especially if you have not met the person before.
After paying a lot for a train ticket only to be told "Sorry i don't think there's any chemistry to go further" Then you are stuck with the situation in trying to get tickets changed etc !!
 |
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"The furthest i have traveled is Liverpool, but i did stay more than one night and only because i had met the guy on a couple of occasion's before. But I don't think that i would do it all the time, much prefer to be nearer home especially if you have not met the person before.
After paying a lot for a train ticket only to be told "Sorry i don't think there's any chemistry to go further" Then you are stuck with the situation in trying to get tickets changed etc !!
"
It makes going to Hove quite acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The furthest i have traveled is Liverpool, but i did stay more than one night and only because i had met the guy on a couple of occasion's before. But I don't think that i would do it all the time, much prefer to be nearer home especially if you have not met the person before.
After paying a lot for a train ticket only to be told "Sorry i don't think there's any chemistry to go further" Then you are stuck with the situation in trying to get tickets changed etc !!
It makes going to Hove quite acceptable."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We travelled back to the UK south east for our first ever meet,with another couple both very nervous, great night dinner, drinks onto a club back to the hotel to our own rooms, and left it at that but got the feeling the male was defiantly after more.
In hindsight an expensive first social meet, you live you learn. "
All that..... for a SOCIAL..???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We travelled back to the UK south east for our first ever meet,with another couple both very nervous, great night dinner, drinks onto a club back to the hotel to our own rooms, and left it at that but got the feeling the male was defiantly after more.
In hindsight an expensive first social meet, you live you learn.
All that..... for a SOCIAL..??? "
Got to start somewhere right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We travelled back to the UK south east for our first ever meet,with another couple both very nervous, great night dinner, drinks onto a club back to the hotel to our own rooms, and left it at that but got the feeling the male was defiantly after more.
In hindsight an expensive first social meet, you live you learn.
All that..... for a SOCIAL..???
Got to start somewhere right "
True.... but.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We travelled back to the UK south east for our first ever meet,with another couple both very nervous, great night dinner, drinks onto a club back to the hotel to our own rooms, and left it at that but got the feeling the male was defiantly after more.
In hindsight an expensive first social meet, you live you learn.
All that..... for a SOCIAL..???
Got to start somewhere right
True.... but.... "
Lol did kill 2birds and one stone , saw family as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have travelled to Leeds, Manchester, soon going to London and planning a trip further North...for some play time, well I sure hope it won't be just coffee but nothing is ever certain. There is always something new to discover when travelling!
For a social meet, a coffee and a chat? 45 mins max as the OP said."
But its over a hour to meadowhall |
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?
Always been my experience that a guy is prepared to travel and have done up to 3 hours, one guy doing so two days in a row, the first day no play and second day no guarantee of play.
I think if people are of the mindset they don't mind travelling then they will."
I agree I will travel 200 miles for just a coffee nothing else expected except pleasant conversation with the right person.but would have got to chat with messages before hand to get to know them first |
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"I have travelled to Leeds, Manchester, soon going to London and planning a trip further North...for some play time, well I sure hope it won't be just coffee but nothing is ever certain. There is always something new to discover when travelling!
For a social meet, a coffee and a chat? 45 mins max as the OP said.
But its over a hour to meadowhall "
One the 125 bike Hunnie....first time I was in the car...35 mins only |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been getting a lot of guys wanting to meet who live quite far from me. I don't accommodate overnight so turn them down. They always say they can drive/travel but, when push comes to shove, I have found, in the past, that actually they don't and usually cancel - most often at the last minute.
What do others think of this?"
I get this too - one side quite flattered but as you say if you don't click then I'm worried that I'd be called a time waster.
So I say we can message but that be all |
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
In the years I have been on Fab, I have had meets in most parts of the country, some have been when I have been working in an area or if I have had "the connection" with someone I have done the distance meet thing.
Have even had the occasional meet where a lady has done the "distance meet" for some fun and games when I have been travelling around
So I guess you can class me as one of the guys that does the miles and turns up |
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
Can I just clarify - I was not asking for advice. I say no to distance meets after, when I first started, being messed about. I soon learned my lesson. However, having had a chat with someone else about it I wondered how many people were prepared to do a fair amount of travelling as I get a lot of offers from the other end of the country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it depends on how I've got on with the person I'm chatting with & how we get along.
If I feel that we get along well, then I'd be inclined to travel about hour & half drive each way.
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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"For me, it depends on how I've got on with the person I'm chatting with & how we get along.
If I feel that we get along well, then I'd be inclined to travel about hour & half drive each way.
"
So not Aberdeen to Manchester or London to Manchester! That's kind of my point. I know some do and that's fine, but in my experience, once reality bites there's usually a cancellation so I avoid distance meets entirely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With potential long distance meets it's essential in building up some dialogue through chat, cam, and on the phone before venturing forth on a long haul road trip.. More often than not it makes the initial social a success before heading off for fun.. |
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I've recently had someone say he would travel to me, upon further investigation it's 6 hours!! That's madness IMHO. I wouldn't do it anyway as I'd feel awful if someone came all that way then my boy was ill or the sitter cancelled and I couldn't meet. X |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
I travel all over the country so it's slightly different. Furthest I have done for a meet is 7 hours. 2 hours for a coffee but only because i was going to the general area. Obviously wouldn't travel that far solely for a one off meet with someone you didn't know. |
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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago
north wales / chester |
"I travel all over the country so it's slightly different. Furthest I have done for a meet is 7 hours. 2 hours for a coffee but only because i was going to the general area. Obviously wouldn't travel that far solely for a one off meet with someone you didn't know. "
looking at doing a road trip to Aberdeen from Chester ..but weve met before |
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"I travel all over the country so it's slightly different. Furthest I have done for a meet is 7 hours. 2 hours for a coffee but only because i was going to the general area. Obviously wouldn't travel that far solely for a one off meet with someone you didn't know.
looking at doing a road trip to Aberdeen from Chester ..but weve met before "
In fact we met after a long distance social meet.....I might even be tempted to travel to Chester tonight |
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I am in the fortunate position of being able to travel all over the country with my work - so distance is not really an issue. I have regular friends in Manchester and Glasgow - sadly not from this site though. Single guys - especially married - are pariahs on this site it seems.
People who are local to you are just as unreliable as people who live far away - there are wankers everywhere who spoil it for genuine swingers.
And sadly Madam I am out of your preferred age range so this old guy from Derbyshire can't make an arrangement to meet with you - and keep the promise. . . . |
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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago
north wales / chester |
"I travel all over the country so it's slightly different. Furthest I have done for a meet is 7 hours. 2 hours for a coffee but only because i was going to the general area. Obviously wouldn't travel that far solely for a one off meet with someone you didn't know.
looking at doing a road trip to Aberdeen from Chester ..but weve met before
In fact we met after a long distance social meet.....I might even be tempted to travel to Chester tonight "
Clean sheets on the bed ready |
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