Do you want to find love? Another love? A first love? An end game love? A for now love?
Or are you satisfied without it? Or without feeling it for anyone new?
I think about how easy it is for me to fall in love and how many more times I might fall in love in my life and I love it. I hate the thought of closing myself off to it. But why might you be closed off to feeling it again? Or why might you be excited to feel it again?
Ah. Love. 😍 |
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See I'm in a very long term relationship (which I hope goes on for very much longer) and I wonder if I have a different opinion on love. I know i don't have enough years of life left to build a similar relationship but I also know that love doesn't have to be the same every time.
Therefore i have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to this stuff. |
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I really don't know... I don't think I've ever experienced genuine real love for a partner as such. Looking back it wasn't as rosy as I thought it was at the time!
I feel like I've got a lot of love to give, friends and family get most of it, but it would be amazing to experience it with that special someone. |
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Love used to be such a scary thing to me.
I'm glad of my time spent in therapy unpicking why that was and learning to not dread it.
I'm glad that I can feel it freely. That all those stupid caveats and boundaries I thought it entailed are just societal and self built structures. Love doesn't have to be the suffocating death I took it to be.
I'm glad I love. And I'm glad that I'm loved. And I'm hopeful I find much much more of it in my lifetime 💜 |
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Yeah, I’d like to find love and I’ve always found it painful accepting that side of me, that need, is not going to be fulfilled.
But you gotta count your blessings, there are people I love who love me just it’s in a different way. |
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"See I'm in a very long term relationship (which I hope goes on for very much longer) and I wonder if I have a different opinion on love. I know i don't have enough years of life left to build a similar relationship but I also know that love doesn't have to be the same every time.
Therefore i have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to this stuff. "
But I liked your answer. It’s honest and it’s about your feelings on it. |
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"Love used to be such a scary thing to me.
I'm glad of my time spent in therapy unpicking why that was and learning to not dread it.
I'm glad that I can feel it freely. That all those stupid caveats and boundaries I thought it entailed are just societal and self built structures. Love doesn't have to be the suffocating death I took it to be.
I'm glad I love. And I'm glad that I'm loved. And I'm hopeful I find much much more of it in my lifetime 💜"
That’s beautiful |
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I think the excitement of NRE feels like a relatively minor titillation to me now.
I'm open to new relationships and experiences, but actively seeking well it isn't usually how I find the meaningful ones anyway.
It's usually how I get hung up and miss the moment, or stop appreciating what is already there.
It's a curious balance between contentment and seeking that us humans seem to sway between. |
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By *IXEN200Woman 9 weeks ago
newcastle upon tyne |
I'm not sure I've found real love, looking back at past relationships as I do now I doubt it was romantic type love more friendship.
If love ever finds me I'm hoping it's the real thing but at my age now I doubt it very much |
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Like the NCs, we're in a very long term, committed relationship. But there's different kinds of love. I love my children but in a very different way to how I love Mr KC, for example. I think I'm able to love another person or people without taking away from my relationship with Mr KC. I know I'd like to have a more regular thing with someone but it's not feasible. So I keep a lot of my love inside.
I do a lot of looking after other people, it brings me joy and so I think I share some of my capacity for love around in that form.
I'm waffling. |
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I know from experience that I can be in love with more than one person at a time, but I’m not looking for it. Ailsa is the great, true love of my life, it has been this way for almost 30 years. If another love sneaks upon me and takes me by surprise, then I don’t know how I’ll react. I might embrace it. I might run from it. It depends on the place Ailsa and I are in at the time. Xx |
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I love quite easily, friends and lovers it feels very natural to. As long as it’s not possessive or draining I don't mind being loved back but I don’t need it.
I’ve noticed often people can’t describe why they love someone, it means it’s infatuation or insecurity. I could usually talk for hours about why I love the people I do ! |
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I have a lot of love with my family, and my chosen family. And sex and intimacy aren't hard to come by but Im missing that all encompassing love for one person that feeling of security, sexiness, and being seen all at once. |
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There is love in abundance in my life; friends, siblings, children, pets. Maybe not from parents, but hey ho.
Consummate love... I'm not sure I'll ever have that, but that's OK. Past relationships required me to be something other than I am, or involved manipulation and deception to keep me in a place that served their purpose. I'm not incomplete without romantic love. If, by some miraculous twist of fate, the opportunity presented itself I hope I'd recognise it, but I've got enough other kinds of love to keep me going if not. |
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"Love used to be such a scary thing to me.
I'm glad of my time spent in therapy unpicking why that was and learning to not dread it.
I'm glad that I can feel it freely. That all those stupid caveats and boundaries I thought it entailed are just societal and self built structures. Love doesn't have to be the suffocating death I took it to be.
I'm glad I love. And I'm glad that I'm loved. And I'm hopeful I find much much more of it in my lifetime 💜"
Here’s to more love, Prey. 🍻🥂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I think real love is very rare, it's mostly lust and infatuation.
I don't even know if I've really had it, I know I don't want it. I will never let anybody have that much power to hurt me ever again.
My kids have my heart and that's enough. |
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By *sWyldWoman 9 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Ultimately I'd love to be madly in love with someone and to feel that they felt the same way.
I've a lot of love to give.
However, I'm not sure I'll find that so I don't hope for it any more. That way I can't be disappointed.
I do love being in love, the beautiful moments and joy that comes from it.
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I don't believe in romantic love.
I believe in friendship and chemistry.
I believe you need to work at both to have successful relationships.
I'm hopeful of finding great new future friendships as life ebbs and flows |
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"I don't believe in romantic love.
I believe in friendship and chemistry.
I believe you need to work at both to have successful relationships.
I'm hopeful of finding great new future friendships as life ebbs and flows "
Hehehehehe
You’re so gonna get it. |
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"I don't believe in romantic love.
I believe in friendship and chemistry.
I believe you need to work at both to have successful relationships.
I'm hopeful of finding great new future friendships as life ebbs and flows "
That’s lovely. * |
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I do believe in love. I yearn for it in the romantic sense. I don’t believe it to be a zero-sum quality.
I loved my parents and grandparents, who loved me. I love my siblings, nieces and nephews and am loved back.
But I’ve never experienced the all-consuming friendship, passion and closeness that a life partner would share.
I hope those who seek love find it, regardless of their age and circumstances. Good luck! |
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I fall in love easy. And hard. I find myself completely blinded and ignore ALL of the red flags.
I love feeling loved, I love loving someone. But I've been hurt too many times and I genuinely don't think I can trust anyone again.
There's a big part of me that wants marriage, a family and lifelong commitment. That part of me is extremely sad that I have my barriers up.
*shudders*
Nope, not for me, I'm closed off to it all completely. |
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By *eliWoman 9 weeks ago
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No. Because it's better when love finds me. I think love is better when it's enjoyed mindfully, everything comes to an end so why not enjoy it while it lasts?
I love the feeling of falling in love with someone - the last time I fell in love with someone (fiancé not included) would be about four years ago. I did close myself off from it because I kept finding people would fall in love with this pedestalised version of me and their actions would be a far cry from their words. I couldn't say I loved people because something was stopping me. I wasn't in love with them. The walls would come up.
I can love quite easily; I love my friends and family well and truly. But falling in love? It's different in my mind.
I've recently started to get erm, excited? Gosh that's a silly word. Anyway, excited about falling in love. The world is that little bit brighter, there's all those daft butterflies, the walls are coming down and it feels real in a way I've not felt for several years. I'm really happy I didn't shut myself off from love. Being loved for all I am.
I hope you enjoy love for a long time to come Pickles. ❤️ |
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I was absolutely adamant that I was never ever going to love again. Caused too much pain and hurt, wasn't prepared to open myself to that ever.
But it kind of crept up on me, which probably is the only way it would have happened. Scared of feeling love is not really a happy place to be I don't think, even though you don't realise it when you're closed off to it. |
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