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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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It could maybe be misconstrued and they may think person A is saying, in a backhanded way, that they don’t usually make an effort.
Sometimes I add quotation marks for this reason, just for fun.
Oh, congrats on “your” baby.
Of course I “didn’t” have sex with your Mrs.
Those kind of things. |
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No, it isn't a compliment.
The context would inform my reaction but that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me. The implication being that I don't make the effort at other times or I haven't actually made any effort at all. |
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"that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me
Yeah, that's exactly what I would think. Sounds extremely backhanded and snarky."
It does doesn't it.
The problem is tone really but it's like when your very shy relative plucks up the courage to join a family gathering and people make comments like 'finally' or 'it's not so hard is it'...It's not motivating in the least |
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"No, it isn't a compliment.
The context would inform my reaction but that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me. The implication being that I don't make the effort at other times or I haven't actually made any effort at all."
I'd probably interpret it that way, too, depending on who it came from. Some people are mean, others are oblivious and clumsy with words. |
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I would say person B is jesting with person A and would see it as a form of flirting.
If person B doesn't know person A, then I would hope person A would could back at person B with a similar backhanded compliment. |
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"Person A sends person B a pic/vid
Person B appreciates said pic/vid and says "looking good, nice to see you making an effort" to Person A.
Is that a compliment? 🤔"
I wouldn't like the "nice to see you making an effort" bit. It implies that they usually DON'T "make an effort" and that is therefore a negative. It's like damning with feint praise. |
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"It does doesn't it.
The problem is tone really but it's like when your very shy relative plucks up the courage to join a family gathering and people make comments like 'finally' or 'it's not so hard is it'...It's not motivating in the least"
Very true. It's the choice of words for me, more than the tone or context. I've never, ever used those words to give a genuine compliment.
Just seems disrespectful. 🤔 |
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I'd probably find it funny. It is contextual of course.
If I felt hurt in some way I'd probably reflect on why, before I started concerning myself with their motivations or intentions.
If I really wanted to play it out I would provide a retort.
I recall one response, equally glib, when I left some ambiguity.
"Oh are you saying I need to up my game?"
I laughed, but then apologised and assured her that this was not the case at all.
English culture is such a weave of implicit and explicit communication. I think either make it explicit or learn to have fun with it. |
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By *aitonel OP Man 8 weeks ago
Liverpool |
Always interesting to see the directions people take things themselves based up the lack of context and where they instantly take things in their own mindset.
1. I said it to her.
2. For once she decided to make an effort
3. She agreed, effort was made this instance. |
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