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How do you deal with not knowing what to do?
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
I find myself in a familiar position. I’ve entered a new job (6 months in) and although I enjoy some aspects of the work I do…I know deep down that this isn’t for me.
This has always been my thing unfortunately. Not knowing what it is I actually want to do in life. Having a wide range of interests and just drifting from one job/career to the next hoping to land on something that is “my thing”.
So I ask you fabbers and forumites.
How do you deal with not knowing what it is you want to do in life? Does it bother you? Is work just a means to an end? Are you still trying to find your why? Perhaps you’ve always known what it is you wanted to do and you’re doing it now?
If you would please share your story and your thoughts.
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I never found my 'thing' work wise. I wasn't ambitious enough and preferred to pursue hobbies outside of paid work.
Some people love their job and working, some people prefer to work than not and then you have people like me who give 100% while at work but treat it as a means to an end.
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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It's natural for most people to work day to day in a job that aren't that passionate about. I've only just discovered what I want to do and going back to college in my 30s has been a bit daunting to be honest but it's never too late to discover your passion. You just have to ask yourself are you content doing a job to fill the gap or do you want to dig a bit deeper and discover what makes you tick, a bit of self reflection usually provides the answer. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"Work doesn’t have to be a meaningful vocation, though it can be for many. For some it’s not the why but the how, and their priorities are elsewhere. "
That’s true, it doesn’t have to be.
It does (for me) at least feel like it should be enjoyable or meaningful in some way because it takes up such a large part of life. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"I never found my 'thing' work wise. I wasn't ambitious enough and preferred to pursue hobbies outside of paid work.
Some people love their job and working, some people prefer to work than not and then you have people like me who give 100% while at work but treat it as a means to an end.
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Ambition is a bit of a tricky one. Although it can be an admirable quality I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as good. |
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"Work doesn’t have to be a meaningful vocation, though it can be for many. For some it’s not the why but the how, and their priorities are elsewhere.
That’s true, it doesn’t have to be.
It does (for me) at least feel like it should be enjoyable or meaningful in some way because it takes up such a large part of life. "
I know what you mean (I think). I separate skills development from the job itself. I need to know I’m developing or honing portable skills I can rely on regardless of the company or job I’m in. That makes it meaningful for me, because I am constantly investing in myself. I don’t look to a job to give me any more than that.
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"I never found my 'thing' work wise. I wasn't ambitious enough and preferred to pursue hobbies outside of paid work.
Some people love their job and working, some people prefer to work than not and then you have people like me who give 100% while at work but treat it as a means to an end.
Ambition is a bit of a tricky one. Although it can be an admirable quality I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as good. "
I think it's ok to be ambitious as long as you're not ruthless with it. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"It's natural for most people to work day to day in a job that aren't that passionate about. I've only just discovered what I want to do and going back to college in my 30s has been a bit daunting to be honest but it's never too late to discover your passion. You just have to ask yourself are you content doing a job to fill the gap or do you want to dig a bit deeper and discover what makes you tick, a bit of self reflection usually provides the answer. "
I’m pleased to hear that you’ve discovered something you want to do. Daunted by it, but feeling the fear and doing it anyway. 👏
I’ve done this a number of times though…. 4 times as it happens.  |
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I have worked in so very many industries. Floated around aimlessly.
It wasn’t until 10’years ago I fell into the sector I love… and only last year discovered my niche within it.
I’m bloody lucky.
But whilst I was floating I just did the best I could, moved around, learned skills, met people, made some money to live life…. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"Work doesn’t have to be a meaningful vocation, though it can be for many. For some it’s not the why but the how, and their priorities are elsewhere.
That’s true, it doesn’t have to be.
It does (for me) at least feel like it should be enjoyable or meaningful in some way because it takes up such a large part of life.
I know what you mean (I think). I separate skills development from the job itself. I need to know I’m developing or honing portable skills I can rely on regardless of the company or job I’m in. That makes it meaningful for me, because I am constantly investing in myself. I don’t look to a job to give me any more than that.
"
So fair to say being an autodidact brings you a sense of satisfaction and gives your work meaning. Do you find your work interesting though? |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"I never found my 'thing' work wise. I wasn't ambitious enough and preferred to pursue hobbies outside of paid work.
Some people love their job and working, some people prefer to work than not and then you have people like me who give 100% while at work but treat it as a means to an end.
Ambition is a bit of a tricky one. Although it can be an admirable quality I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as good.
I think it's ok to be ambitious as long as you're not ruthless with it. "
I agree. I wish the Gordon Gekko’s of the world would too. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"I have worked in so very many industries. Floated around aimlessly.
It wasn’t until 10’years ago I fell into the sector I love… and only last year discovered my niche within it.
I’m bloody lucky.
But whilst I was floating I just did the best I could, moved around, learned skills, met people, made some money to live life…. "
Serendipity. That’s really great to hear. It gives me hope
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Work's a damn impertinence as far as I am concerned. I have far too many other interesting hobbies to occupy my time.
Alas, food and bills have to be paid, so that's the only reason I work.
A friend of mine retired recently and his days start at 9am and he plays World of Warcraft until 10-11 pm each day. Lucky so and so  |
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Few, if any, people have a life plan and stick to it. There are just too many variables in the equation. Luck (good and bad) plays a large part too, although people are often reluctant to admit it. My observation is don't fear change. That holds too many people back. But don't be reckless either. Always ringfence the downside and be prepared to make bold decisions. |
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By *enk15Man 13 weeks ago
Evesham |
I managed to find something I am good at and don’t totally hate. Can’t say I love it either.
I know exactly what I want to do, but writing screenplays and picture books isn’t the easiest career to get into. |
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I think 'learn new, portable skills' is key to it. I started a new job at something I was good at in June last year and in the first week knew that the company was a total joke shop, one of those places that talks a good game but doesn't deliver, to the staff or the mug punter... oh sorry, I meant the obviously highly esteemed client base. It didn't help that my boss quite clearly showed on a daily basis that she was nowhere near as bright as she thought she was. I stuck it for 15 months and absolutely hated every day I was there, to the extent I began to lose my self-resepct for staying there.
Having a massive and totally unexpected compensation payout land in my lap from another PITA company helped me resign, obviously, but it was something I should have done anyway. Life is short, and not a single one of us knows how short it's going to be. We are all, every one of us, worth more than being unhappy every day.
God, didn't that sound like a vicar on Radio4????
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"Work's a damn impertinence as far as I am concerned. I have far too many other interesting hobbies to occupy my time.
Alas, food and bills have to be paid, so that's the only reason I work.
A friend of mine retired recently and his days start at 9am and he plays World of Warcraft until 10-11 pm each day. Lucky so and so "
Could you find a way of monetising any of your hobbies? Or just not feasible? |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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It's ok to have a job you don't really feel as long as it's not toxic like mine was . I'd honestly rather be broke than do front line retail again and it's only since I left that I've realised just how bad I was doing it |
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"Could you find a way of monetising any of your hobbies? Or just not feasible?"
Oh indeed, quite easily for some of them due to thousands of hours learning them.
However, they no longer become enjoyable if I have to do them to make money. Because that's a job. I would not be doing them for pleasure anymore, only out of necessity. |
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Haven’t got a clue tbh OP.
I fell into my job/career completely by accident.
Got stuck in an industry which didn’t do anything for me at all and got lucky switching to a different industry as we came out of covid.
I can’t say I love my job, but I get left to do my job in peace and have a lot of flexibility. I use the flexibility to do other things that I enjoy more.
I also make a few extra pennies with a very different job for variety. I’m not sure I could envisage ever doing a regular Monday-Friday 9-5.
I am mid-30’s and have no clue what I want to do.
Occasionally I go all career focussed and go for a promotion (with hit and miss success rates  ) and other times I like that I can turn my laptop off and be done. It frustrates me that I can’t find my niche, and don’t have any drive but I just try to focus on the good bits that my job allows me to do (like take two hour lunches to go and train etc) |
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For context - I never knew what I wanted to do and left school at 15.
I don’t work anymore, but I did work from age 15 to 53, with a few breaks to retrain, travel and study, and before stopping work. I reached the peak C level position for a NASDAQ listed company & Founded two companies.
I was advised not to switch sectors, but I did three times, that’s probably why it took so long to get to C level but no regrets there.
There is way more to life than work, so make it work for you. I never really cared what I did, but I cared a lot about who I worked for, the companies and the leaders and I wanted to travel the world and have a lasting positive impact. If you’re gonna give yourself 50 to 60 hours a week for a few decades, then at least make it for a worthwhile cause and with people that you respect and can learn a lot from.
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"I think 'learn new, portable skills' is key to it. I started a new job at something I was good at in June last year and in the first week knew that the company was a total joke shop, one of those places that talks a good game but doesn't deliver, to the staff or the mug punter... oh sorry, I meant the obviously highly esteemed client base. It didn't help that my boss quite clearly showed on a daily basis that she was nowhere near as bright as she thought she was. I stuck it for 15 months and absolutely hated every day I was there, to the extent I began to lose my self-resepct for staying there.
Having a massive and totally unexpected compensation payout land in my lap from another PITA company helped me resign, obviously, but it was something I should have done anyway. Life is short, and not a single one of us knows how short it's going to be. We are all, every one of us, worth more than being unhappy every day.
God, didn't that sound like a vicar on Radio4????
"
😂 no you didn’t sound like a vicar. I appreciate the wise words though. |
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By *HUSH- OP Man 13 weeks ago
London |
"Haven’t got a clue tbh OP.
I fell into my job/career completely by accident.
Got stuck in an industry which didn’t do anything for me at all and got lucky switching to a different industry as we came out of covid.
I can’t say I love my job, but I get left to do my job in peace and have a lot of flexibility. I use the flexibility to do other things that I enjoy more.
I also make a few extra pennies with a very different job for variety. I’m not sure I could envisage ever doing a regular Monday-Friday 9-5.
I am mid-30’s and have no clue what I want to do.
Occasionally I go all career focussed and go for a promotion (with hit and miss success rates ) and other times I like that I can turn my laptop off and be done. It frustrates me that I can’t find my niche, and don’t have any drive but I just try to focus on the good bits that my job allows me to do (like take two hour lunches to go and train etc)"
When I was flexible working I liked the freedom it gave me. Especially the chance to work late at night which is when my brain is most active. Even if it is a bloody nuisance. I think a job that offers me that is a good start.
And yeah I get that frustration. I’m a motivated person but if I don’t have a goal to work towards I just get a bit lost and faff about. |
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