Where does attraction for someone become needy and desperation?
You like someone, you interact on the forums, you message, it’s becoming clear they don’t feel the same what do you do?
Hold on and hope it may change, move on or try and be friends?
Where does flirtation become annoying?
Seeing someone “call you out” for liking you and wanting to meet you but you don’t feel the same
Do you message and say thank you but no thank you or ignore hoping that they will stop |
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I don’t think anyone has ever been so persistent with us - either as a couple or singles - to become annoying. But then we don’t engage all that much and frequently vanish altogether. It’s easy to ignore people when you’re not here x |
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"You like someone, you interact on the forums, you message, it’s becoming clear they don’t feel the same what do you do?"
I downgrade the conversation to cursory messaging in order to remain amicable and friendly. I don't have the appetite for protracted conversations if it's not going anywhere.
"Where does flirtation become annoying?"
When it's no longer reciprocal. Although I wouldn't call it "annoying"; I've never been in that situation.
"Seeing someone “call you out” for liking you and wanting to meet you but you don’t feel the same."
That happened to me once, at a social, sitting around a large table when I was propositioned in front of everyone. I was dumbstruck...
"Do you message and say thank you but no thank you or ignore hoping that they will stop"
I'm too gutless to say no thank you. 🫤 |
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By *eliWoman 11 weeks ago
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I'm not sure. I suppose how it's handled and how the recipient feels about it.
If it's not reciprocated I very quickly lose interest. I've not really had that happen to me, I tend to be quite cautious. Only really go for it if it's obvious it would/could be reciprocated.
I don't ever find flirtation annoying. Sometimes it can make me feel uncomfortable because I like the person but not in that way. Or if their flirting style doesn't match mine, that's a bit awkward because I lose interest quite quickly.
I've generally found that a polite conversation and most people get it and that's it done and dusted. It's rare it becomes unpleasant. Luckily. |
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By *aizyWoman 11 weeks ago
west midlands |
I would back off, I wouldn't interact with them on the forums much and I would stop msging them, no point chasing someone if they are not interested, whether they tell you out right or not you can still tell. |
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If I fancy someone and I get the feeling it's not reciprocated I'll back off super quickly. Like Homer into a hedge.
The other way round has happened a fair bit. I'm not great at saying I'm not interested if they're a nice person so I tend to engage deflector shields. Look squirrel! |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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Holding on to anyone who makes it clear they don't want you is damaging. Ask yourself why you would do that, what is lacking in yourself that you need to do that?
You dont want them, you want their validation so your investment is justified. |
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By *aizyWoman 11 weeks ago
west midlands |
"If I fancy someone and I get the feeling it's not reciprocated I'll back off super quickly. Like Homer into a hedge.
The other way round has happened a fair bit. I'm not great at saying I'm not interested if they're a nice person so I tend to engage deflector shields. Look squirrel! "
We really do need gifs and memes on here!  |
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By *ir tootMan 11 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"If I fancy someone and I get the feeling it's not reciprocated I'll back off super quickly. Like Homer into a hedge.
The other way round has happened a fair bit. I'm not great at saying I'm not interested if they're a nice person so I tend to engage deflector shields. Look squirrel!
We really do need gifs and memes on here! "
. It would be chaos.  |
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By *aizyWoman 11 weeks ago
west midlands |
"If I fancy someone and I get the feeling it's not reciprocated I'll back off super quickly. Like Homer into a hedge.
The other way round has happened a fair bit. I'm not great at saying I'm not interested if they're a nice person so I tend to engage deflector shields. Look squirrel!
We really do need gifs and memes on here! .
It would be chaos. "
But fun chaos. |
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By *ir tootMan 11 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"If I fancy someone and I get the feeling it's not reciprocated I'll back off super quickly. Like Homer into a hedge.
The other way round has happened a fair bit. I'm not great at saying I'm not interested if they're a nice person so I tend to engage deflector shields. Look squirrel!
We really do need gifs and memes on here! .
It would be chaos.
But fun chaos."
Well yes, I'm an avid fan of gifs.   |
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By *a LunaWoman 11 weeks ago
South Wales |
I think if folk try to be friends after they’ve not expressed an interest back, then that’s just asking for a world of feeling bummed out and may cause folk to become needy and desperate.
Instead just take the rejection on the chin and move on.
There are millions of people in the world, just because that one person didn’t see your potential that doesn’t mean others won’t. That’s what I reckon.
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I just tell them straight, we’re all adults on here. I think it’s disrespectful to women to not do that. I’ve only ever had 2 women get abusive , it’s a minority but they sure make up for it
I imagine women get abuse regularly for saying they’re not interested. |
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I only ask once. No interest/decline, I move on.
I was clingy/needy when I was younger. Not anymore.
If it’s more subtle flirtation and it’s not reciprocated/deflected, then same, move on. No one is worth me losing sleep over.  |
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