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What becomes of the broken hearted...
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By (user no longer on site) OP 7 days ago
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I guess you can say that I'm fortunate that I had to get to 50 before someone broke my heart...
Most of my relationships previously have been my choice to end them so I guess a lot of the emotional journey of a break up was dealt with pretty swiftly. It took a while for me to end things. And of the others, they were typically flash in the pan relationships so no biggy that they ended.
However, my last was different. Whilst it was me that eventually called time, it was with a very heavy heart and it's taken every fibre of my being not to go back. It's now left me in the frame of mind that I'm going to see out my mortal existence single and at most, with friend(s) with benefits.
When was your heart broken and how did it change your approach/outlook to relationships? |
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I've had my heart broken a few times. It's not so bad, if there is a reason, so to speak. I find who ends it, is usually kind of arbitrary as in who says the words.
My wife dying suddenly, that messed me up. It never felt like there's a reason for the relationship to end. I appreciate there's an obvious reason it ended, but not we grew apart, someone cheated etc etc. Just happily married, kids - oh I've got a bad headache - dead.
Shock, grief, heartbreak... A cocktail of all the good stuff.
It's changed my perspective on life in some ways. Like the awareness that anyone can just die at any time, without warning. That feels very real now, it's not some abstract thing you hear happening to other people. |
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Sorry to hear that OP, it’s never easy.
I doubt that I’ll ever be in that sort of relationship again.
Not bitterness or being twisted, it’s age, circumstance and being through things. I know unexpected things can happen, but I’m cool with it.
I did go through the grind of things before doing fab, but I’m sort of thinking other stuff needs my time.
Heart break is sort of been there and done that and yeah it takes a while to find the mojo again and some parts of it stick deeper. No great advice on it and it’s a lot of keeping going. |
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I've only had one relationship. It lasted 28 years. He broke my heart. I find myself floundering now. I don't really know how to be me. I certainly don't know how to meet someone new and don't think I have it in me to start a new relationship. It broke me really. I don't know how you bounce back from it as I'm still trying.
Sorry you're going through that op. |
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"I've become the cold hearted bitch I am now, and I couldn't be happier. "
Raven always says exactly what I'm thinking in these threads 💁
Never putting up with anyone's bullshit, ever again. I will die alone and happy  |
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I love my life and single status. I was 29 when I thought I was in love haha silly me. Since then I haven’t let my emotions get involved and let anyone have an emotional hold on me.
I’m enjoying life on my terms  |
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"I love my life and single status. I was 29 when I thought I was in love haha silly me. Since then I haven’t let my emotions get involved and let anyone have an emotional hold on me.
I’m enjoying life on my terms "
Love that |
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"I've only had one relationship. It lasted 28 years. He broke my heart. I find myself floundering now. I don't really know how to be me. I certainly don't know how to meet someone new and don't think I have it in me to start a new relationship. It broke me really. I don't know how you bounce back from it as I'm still trying.
Sorry you're going through that op. "
I’ve been going to socials and clubs and it’s very weird doing things I hadn’t done in a very long time in terms of talking to new people and all that. Just seeing it as a learning curve that I’ll get better at or where past experience will kick in. |
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I don't think I've ever had my heart broken.
It's taken a few wounds now and again for sure. Learning that love is not enough to overcome incompatibility. Growing apart from people that were once so focal in my life. Discovering the person you cared for never really existed, just a facade of what the real person wanted you to see. I've had a couple of rough breakups, but nothing that felt world ending.
Best thing I found to do after a long term relationship dying was take some time to reconnect with yourself. It's often difficult to realise just how much of yourself you're giving away to please a partner, after long enough it just stops mattering.
I forget the original question.
So I guess you're just getting the probably tangential waffle 💜 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 6 days ago
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"I've had my heart broken a few times. It's not so bad, if there is a reason, so to speak. I find who ends it, is usually kind of arbitrary as in who says the words.
My wife dying suddenly, that messed me up. It never felt like there's a reason for the relationship to end. I appreciate there's an obvious reason it ended, but not we grew apart, someone cheated etc etc. Just happily married, kids - oh I've got a bad headache - dead.
Shock, grief, heartbreak... A cocktail of all the good stuff.
It's changed my perspective on life in some ways. Like the awareness that anyone can just die at any time, without warning. That feels very real now, it's not some abstract thing you hear happening to other people."
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By (user no longer on site) OP 6 days ago
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"I've had my heart broken a few times. It's not so bad, if there is a reason, so to speak. I find who ends it, is usually kind of arbitrary as in who says the words.
My wife dying suddenly, that messed me up. It never felt like there's a reason for the relationship to end. I appreciate there's an obvious reason it ended, but not we grew apart, someone cheated etc etc. Just happily married, kids - oh I've got a bad headache - dead.
Shock, grief, heartbreak... A cocktail of all the good stuff.
It's changed my perspective on life in some ways. Like the awareness that anyone can just die at any time, without warning. That feels very real now, it's not some abstract thing you hear happening to other people."
🤗 |
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By *sWyldWoman 6 days ago
Edinburgh |
If honest my heart is still broken over someone and it's been that way for over a year.
I've made the choice to fill the cracks with love for myself and it's taken the form of travel. It's taught me I'm maybe not as lonely as I once thought I was |
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Sorry you've gone through that, OP. And everyone else who's experienced heartbreak.
10 years ago my marriage ended. He was my favorite person in the world who I'd known since I was 17, and the father of my children. We had a deep love and respect for one another, but we had opposite emotional needs—I withdrew when struggling, while he needed comfort—and we weren’t compatible sexually. Even though we were both unhappy, ending it felt like having my heart ripped out. It taught me that love and respect aren’t enough to overcome fundamental differences in what two people need to be happy.
More recently, I ended another long-term relationship, which reinforced this lesson. It’s clearer than ever that I can’t compromise on my need for space and solitude, even for the sake of love. I know it’s rare to find someone who truly understands that, but I’ve made peace with the idea of being alone forever. For me, it’s far better to be alone than to risk feeling suffocated in a relationship that doesn’t fit, even if you love them. |
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"Sorry you've gone through that, OP. And everyone else who's experienced heartbreak.
10 years ago my marriage ended. He was my favorite person in the world who I'd known since I was 17, and the father of my children. We had a deep love and respect for one another, but we had opposite emotional needs—I withdrew when struggling, while he needed comfort—and we weren’t compatible sexually. Even though we were both unhappy, ending it felt like having my heart ripped out. It taught me that love and respect aren’t enough to overcome fundamental differences in what two people need to be happy.
More recently, I ended another long-term relationship, which reinforced this lesson. It’s clearer than ever that I can’t compromise on my need for space and solitude, even for the sake of love. I know it’s rare to find someone who truly understands that, but I’ve made peace with the idea of being alone forever. For me, it’s far better to be alone than to risk feeling suffocated in a relationship that doesn’t fit, even if you love them."
wonderfully honest, thanks for sharing |
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By *a LunaWoman 6 days ago
South Wales |
The relationship ending that hurt me the most was the ending of my first long term relationship. I was with him from 18 to 27 and we were best friends and epic lovers and we were engaged to be married. It’s the only relationship I’ve had where I felt loved and adored, and of course it was mutual.
I ended it but I tell you it took me 4 years and anti-depressants to get over that break-up.
Sometimes someone can be everything you want, but they aren’t perfect (as none of us are) and you have to compromise (or not) on those faults. I chose not to.
Other relationships have come and gone, and of course they hurt at the time, but nothing has hurt as much as that one.
I think it’s important not to close yourself off from finding love again, be hopeful. If it happens it happens.
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"I've had my heart broken a few times. It's not so bad, if there is a reason, so to speak. I find who ends it, is usually kind of arbitrary as in who says the words.
My wife dying suddenly, that messed me up. It never felt like there's a reason for the relationship to end. I appreciate there's an obvious reason it ended, but not we grew apart, someone cheated etc etc. Just happily married, kids - oh I've got a bad headache - dead.
Shock, grief, heartbreak... A cocktail of all the good stuff.
It's changed my perspective on life in some ways. Like the awareness that anyone can just die at any time, without warning. That feels very real now, it's not some abstract thing you hear happening to other people.
🤗"
🤗
I find making peace with sadness creates space jor joy.
It taught me that - it's an odd sensation, feeling both simultaneously - I don't think the mind quite knows what to do with itself when it has to process ambivalence. |
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"I guess you can say that I'm fortunate that I had to get to 50 before someone broke my heart...
Most of my relationships previously have been my choice to end them so I guess a lot of the emotional journey of a break up was dealt with pretty swiftly. It took a while for me to end things. And of the others, they were typically flash in the pan relationships so no biggy that they ended.
However, my last was different. Whilst it was me that eventually called time, it was with a very heavy heart and it's taken every fibre of my being not to go back. It's now left me in the frame of mind that I'm going to see out my mortal existence single and at most, with friend(s) with benefits.
When was your heart broken and how did it change your approach/outlook to relationships?"
We come into the world alone.
You will find yourself again. The self never is dependent on the other. It can be shaped by others but we must never lost sight of the cold stone fact that how we react is our decision alone.
If you have accepted the finality of the relationship what good is there to be had in prolonging the pain ?
xx happier times to you xx |
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My heart has been broken romantically and also by loss and family ...
I have ended marriages and relationships that had profound impact on me but I've learnt so much about my own self compassio and importance of boundaries.
Despite heart break and being let down ... I chose not to close myself off to the potential of love ... I am just more careful about who I give that gift to. |
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