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Dementia awareness
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In hospitals. Mind. Blown. 🤯
Lesson 1 - do NOT argue with the person.
When lesson 1 is not implemented, we result in someone screaming the place down.
Lesson 2 - listen to the family who know them well.
When lesson 2 is not implemented, you further confuse them and screaming commences.
We'd had a rare period of peace and tranquility, but the volume is rising. Absolutely no need to cause such distress. None whatsoever. |
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By *a LunaWoman 2 weeks ago
South Wales |
When my late nan was in hospital they put her on a dementia ward. It was horrific. The screaming. The pitiful cries of “Nurse? Nurse!!!!” and nobody going to check.
Being left in their beds and TOLD to poo in their bed. Family visiting having to carry out the basic personal care, bringing in drinks as patients were dehydrated.
No wonder the Hospital ended up being investigated and on the news, and staff (Nurses) were sacked.
And yes, I did write a letter of complaint about what I saw. Wasn’t even acknowledged.
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"When my late nan was in hospital they put her on a dementia ward. It was horrific. The screaming. The pitiful cries of “Nurse? Nurse!!!!” and nobody going to check.
Being left in their beds and TOLD to poo in their bed. Family visiting having to carry out the basic personal care, bringing in drinks as patients were dehydrated.
No wonder the Hospital ended up being investigated and on the news, and staff (Nurses) were sacked.
And yes, I did write a letter of complaint about what I saw. Wasn’t even acknowledged.
"
That is horrendous but what is also sad is the fact they are closing all the good dementia homes down. |
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I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with. |
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with. "
During a recent stay in hospital there was a gentleman opposite me who had had surgery and also had dementia.
He kept pulling his catheter out but in the end the staff handled it really well. They gave him details on the hospital, like a leaflet. And when he was asking what was doing on they told him to read it. It worked
Unfortunately hospitals on general wards don’t have the staff for one to one care. He loved music so we had music playing, it was only a 4 man room off a ward.
The family used it for some rest bite care for them as well. And that I understand
I don’t know what the solution or answer is but it’s bloody frightening to see anyone like that. Not so much for them but selfishly thinking that can be anyone of us |
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with.
During a recent stay in hospital there was a gentleman opposite me who had had surgery and also had dementia.
He kept pulling his catheter out but in the end the staff handled it really well. They gave him details on the hospital, like a leaflet. And when he was asking what was doing on they told him to read it. It worked
Unfortunately hospitals on general wards don’t have the staff for one to one care. He loved music so we had music playing, it was only a 4 man room off a ward.
The family used it for some rest bite care for them as well. And that I understand
I don’t know what the solution or answer is but it’s bloody frightening to see anyone like that. Not so much for them but selfishly thinking that can be anyone of us "
I think we've got to get care back in government control and ownership, not for profit. It's not happening any time soon |
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"When my late nan was in hospital they put her on a dementia ward. It was horrific. The screaming. The pitiful cries of “Nurse? Nurse!!!!” and nobody going to check.
Being left in their beds and TOLD to poo in their bed. Family visiting having to carry out the basic personal care, bringing in drinks as patients were dehydrated.
No wonder the Hospital ended up being investigated and on the news, and staff (Nurses) were sacked.
And yes, I did write a letter of complaint about what I saw. Wasn’t even acknowledged.
"
Being told to pee/soil the bed is normal here.
Being made to wait far too long for bed pans or commodes is commonplace, to the point of soiling.
Dementia sufferers have meals placed in front of them then removed untouched because no-one helps them.
The 102yo next to me tried to eat the paper plate her toast was on. Someone shoved toast into her hand then left her. She couldn't chew it and was then sick. She remained with vomit on her face and pillow for over an hour until they cleaned her up.
Same lady had meds (large tablets) placed in front of her in a pot. She's not taken them. No-one checked. No-one helped. So she was cleaned/bed bathed without the pain med they thought she'd had.
Yesterday's staff were very attentive and helped her with everything. Today they are woefully under staffed and my request for someone to feed her lunch just now was "I can't, I'm doing the job of 4 people" |
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"In hospitals. Mind. Blown. 🤯
Lesson 1 - do NOT argue with the person.
When lesson 1 is not implemented, we result in someone screaming the place down.
Lesson 2 - listen to the family who know them well.
When lesson 2 is not implemented, you further confuse them and screaming commences.
We'd had a rare period of peace and tranquility, but the volume is rising. Absolutely no need to cause such distress. None whatsoever. "
If you haven't already, get a passport from the alzheimers society. They provide help for all types of dementia.
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with. "
THIS!!!!!
It is so easy to blame the burned out nursing staff.
Specialist dementia wards SHOULD ensure the staff know how to treat the various types of dementia, keep the patients safe (locked, as many go wandering - purposeful walking). Attend to patient passports (individualised care that family fill in so staff know how to interact with the person - IF they get the time to familiarise themselves withe copious passports for all the patients). Assist feeding for those who can no longer feed themselves (family input is VERY VERY VERY welcome). Liaise with specialist dementia/admiral nurses. Try to support the patient whose confusion peaks because in a different environment. Deal with the intolerable abuse (do you know how strong a frightened person with dementia gets?), biting, hitting, punching, scratching and not being able to restrain a person but merely protect self, talk in a manner that a patient may understand (and sometimes an authoritative voice is needed when all else fails). Dealing with the numerous cases of incontinence all day long.
Repeat the next day.
Try doing that when you're burned out already. |
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with.
During a recent stay in hospital there was a gentleman opposite me who had had surgery and also had dementia.
He kept pulling his catheter out but in the end the staff handled it really well. They gave him details on the hospital, like a leaflet. And when he was asking what was doing on they told him to read it. It worked
Unfortunately hospitals on general wards don’t have the staff for one to one care. He loved music so we had music playing, it was only a 4 man room off a ward.
The family used it for some rest bite care for them as well. And that I understand
I don’t know what the solution or answer is but it’s bloody frightening to see anyone like that. Not so much for them but selfishly thinking that can be anyone of us "
Even dementia wards don't have one to one, they have to call in "specials". |
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"When my late nan was in hospital they put her on a dementia ward. It was horrific. The screaming. The pitiful cries of “Nurse? Nurse!!!!” and nobody going to check.
Being left in their beds and TOLD to poo in their bed. Family visiting having to carry out the basic personal care, bringing in drinks as patients were dehydrated.
No wonder the Hospital ended up being investigated and on the news, and staff (Nurses) were sacked.
And yes, I did write a letter of complaint about what I saw. Wasn’t even acknowledged.
Being told to pee/soil the bed is normal here.
Being made to wait far too long for bed pans or commodes is commonplace, to the point of soiling.
Dementia sufferers have meals placed in front of them then removed untouched because no-one helps them.
The 102yo next to me tried to eat the paper plate her toast was on. Someone shoved toast into her hand then left her. She couldn't chew it and was then sick. She remained with vomit on her face and pillow for over an hour until they cleaned her up.
Same lady had meds (large tablets) placed in front of her in a pot. She's not taken them. No-one checked. No-one helped. So she was cleaned/bed bathed without the pain med they thought she'd had.
Yesterday's staff were very attentive and helped her with everything. Today they are woefully under staffed and my request for someone to feed her lunch just now was "I can't, I'm doing the job of 4 people""
Understaffed, overworked. And now it's the bug season.
Hospitals don't call upon agencies, they use their own bank staff who work extra as they don't earn enough. But even before they use bank they pull staff away from other wards who are green (adequately staffed) and from specialist teams and put them in environments they haven't nursed in/haven't the knowledge.
Good shifts where you're not running around like a blue arsed fly don't exist anymore as you're moved.
A long distance runner doesn't run like a sprinter, but that's what it's like on the wards. |
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with.
THIS!!!!!
It is so easy to blame the burned out nursing staff.
Specialist dementia wards SHOULD ensure the staff know how to treat the various types of dementia, keep the patients safe (locked, as many go wandering - purposeful walking). Attend to patient passports (individualised care that family fill in so staff know how to interact with the person - IF they get the time to familiarise themselves withe copious passports for all the patients). Assist feeding for those who can no longer feed themselves (family input is VERY VERY VERY welcome). Liaise with specialist dementia/admiral nurses. Try to support the patient whose confusion peaks because in a different environment. Deal with the intolerable abuse (do you know how strong a frightened person with dementia gets?), biting, hitting, punching, scratching and not being able to restrain a person but merely protect self, talk in a manner that a patient may understand (and sometimes an authoritative voice is needed when all else fails). Dealing with the numerous cases of incontinence all day long.
Repeat the next day.
Try doing that when you're burned out already."
Yep.
I have relatives who are health care professionals. It's a thankless task and many times they are unable to provide the level of care they want and are trained to give. |
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"I've said for a long time that if you have a relative or friend in hospital regardless of if they have dementia or not someone needs to be there as much as possible. Nursing staff and HCAs simply don't have time (and sometimes admittedly the inclination) to do anything other than the basics.
The better option for anyone who no longer needs actual medical attention is respite or a care home. That isn't ideal and funded places are rare. So unless you can afford private carers or you are prepared to care for people affected by dementia yourself this is what you're left with.
THIS!!!!!
It is so easy to blame the burned out nursing staff.
Specialist dementia wards SHOULD ensure the staff know how to treat the various types of dementia, keep the patients safe (locked, as many go wandering - purposeful walking). Attend to patient passports (individualised care that family fill in so staff know how to interact with the person - IF they get the time to familiarise themselves withe copious passports for all the patients). Assist feeding for those who can no longer feed themselves (family input is VERY VERY VERY welcome). Liaise with specialist dementia/admiral nurses. Try to support the patient whose confusion peaks because in a different environment. Deal with the intolerable abuse (do you know how strong a frightened person with dementia gets?), biting, hitting, punching, scratching and not being able to restrain a person but merely protect self, talk in a manner that a patient may understand (and sometimes an authoritative voice is needed when all else fails). Dealing with the numerous cases of incontinence all day long.
Repeat the next day.
Try doing that when you're burned out already.
Yep.
I have relatives who are health care professionals. It's a thankless task and many times they are unable to provide the level of care they want and are trained to give. "
Yep.
I used to think community nursing was easier, after-all you cannot see two patients at once. Not any more, we are given timed slots that aren't long enough for contact with the patient, let alone complete the documenting of careplans completed, order equipment, make referrals yadda yadda yadda. We see patients back to back and do so much in our own time.
No wonder only twats want to become nurses 😂😂 |
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Having seen it first hand for over 12 years slowly take the person from caring at home to various care scenarios and ultimately passing away in hospital, my heart goes out to everyone losing your loved ones. We must do better as human beings to provide what people deserve |
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"Seems like nurses may need recovery therapy after each shift."
Just pay us what we're worth and a new generation of people will be clambering to become nurses, then we won't be short staffed for this entire millennium (I kid you not, we've been stealing nurses from elsewhere for well over two decades and still short staffed).
Can I see it happening? No. The day a nurse is a valued professional, will be the day of the apocalypse. |
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"Seems like nurses may need recovery therapy after each shift.
Just pay us what we're worth and a new generation of people will be clambering to become nurses, then we won't be short staffed for this entire millennium (I kid you not, we've been stealing nurses from elsewhere for well over two decades and still short staffed).
Can I see it happening? No. The day a nurse is a valued professional, will be the day of the apocalypse. "
What do you mean? The old lady across the road from me banged a saucepan lid every Thursday during the pandemic, what more do you want?  |
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"Seems like nurses may need recovery therapy after each shift.
Just pay us what we're worth and a new generation of people will be clambering to become nurses, then we won't be short staffed for this entire millennium (I kid you not, we've been stealing nurses from elsewhere for well over two decades and still short staffed).
Can I see it happening? No. The day a nurse is a valued professional, will be the day of the apocalypse.
What do you mean? The old lady across the road from me banged a saucepan lid every Thursday during the pandemic, what more do you want? "
Nor for me she didn't  |
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"Seems like nurses may need recovery therapy after each shift.
Just pay us what we're worth and a new generation of people will be clambering to become nurses, then we won't be short staffed for this entire millennium (I kid you not, we've been stealing nurses from elsewhere for well over two decades and still short staffed).
Can I see it happening? No. The day a nurse is a valued professional, will be the day of the apocalypse.
What do you mean? The old lady across the road from me banged a saucepan lid every Thursday during the pandemic, what more do you want?
Nor for me she didn't "
Not |
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The under staffing is self-evident. But that doesn't make it any better for the patients.
I've seen staff taunting patients with dementia, escalating distress by shouting at them and threatening things like their children won't visit if they don't behave etc.
This is an orthopaedic ward, every dementia sufferer in my area is here for medical care. They also happen to have dementia. Staff need not to escalate things or tease, taunt or threaten them.
This will be my 10th night in hospital and my 10th without anything more than an hour or two of consecutive sleep. I totally understand why the dementia sufferers behave as they do, my Dad also has it, but constant (and I mean CONSTANT, 24/7) screaming, shouting, crying out and everything else is just too much. It could be better managed through the existing few staff NOT shouting back and not entering into an argument, as is currently underway.
"I have to go home now"
"No you can't"
"I AM going to go home"
"No, you can't go home"
And so it goes on and on and on and the volume increases from both parties and the level of "threat" increases too. |
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"The under staffing is self-evident. But that doesn't make it any better for the patients.
I've seen staff taunting patients with dementia, escalating distress by shouting at them and threatening things like their children won't visit if they don't behave etc.
This is an orthopaedic ward, every dementia sufferer in my area is here for medical care. They also happen to have dementia. Staff need not to escalate things or tease, taunt or threaten them.
This will be my 10th night in hospital and my 10th without anything more than an hour or two of consecutive sleep. I totally understand why the dementia sufferers behave as they do, my Dad also has it, but constant (and I mean CONSTANT, 24/7) screaming, shouting, crying out and everything else is just too much. It could be better managed through the existing few staff NOT shouting back and not entering into an argument, as is currently underway.
"I have to go home now"
"No you can't"
"I AM going to go home"
"No, you can't go home"
And so it goes on and on and on and the volume increases from both parties and the level of "threat" increases too."
Awful to hear.
There are arseholes employed in the nhs as well as "angels". |
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"For balance, there are some wonderful staff who manage the dementia sufferers much better. Our night nurse for the previous few nights was a shining example. She's not on tonight  "
I think those of us with a lot of experience of the NHS know that.
How are you getting on anyway, any progress? |
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"For balance, there are some wonderful staff who manage the dementia sufferers much better. Our night nurse for the previous few nights was a shining example. She's not on tonight
I think those of us with a lot of experience of the NHS know that.
How are you getting on anyway, any progress?"
Not much atm, just possibilities. Had a test today, unexpectedly. Results due in 2 days. Nothing will now happen till Monday. Happy to give more info to those I e-know via PM, rather than on here. |
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"In hospitals. Mind. Blown. 🤯
Lesson 1 - do NOT argue with the person.
When lesson 1 is not implemented, we result in someone screaming the place down.
Lesson 2 - listen to the family who know them well.
When lesson 2 is not implemented, you further confuse them and screaming commences.
We'd had a rare period of peace and tranquility, but the volume is rising. Absolutely no need to cause such distress. None whatsoever. "
I'm currently looking after someone who is forgetting alot of things recently at 82 yrs. But insists and argues about everything I do for them to help, I just have to bite my tounge as much as I get angry. |
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By *j2015Couple 1 week ago
Glasgow |
Clothing - i had a leather jacket that would trigger my grandmother and see me as a male predator 😔
If i attended with my mother i was seen as a boyfriend and treated as such.
If i attended with my wife she knew exactly who i was 🤷♂️
Visual connections are so important and i encourage experimenting to get the most time you can |
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By *j2015Couple 1 week ago
Glasgow |
"Clothing - i had a leather jacket that would trigger my grandmother and see me as a male predator 😔
If i attended with my mother i was seen as a boyfriend and treated as such.
If i attended with my wife she knew exactly who i was 🤷♂️
Visual connections are so important and i encourage experimenting to get the most time you can"
This was vascular dementia, post stroke |
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My mother, who doesn't have dementia, and worked as an NHS nurse for many years. Would probably be mortified seeing herself, as we've seen her behave in the past few years during hospital/respite stints...
She's old, she's upset, she gets a side room mostly as she's an MRSA carrier. She wants very much to go home when she goes to hospital. This is also v much understandable... She's horrible to staff, really bitchy, dismissive, argues, racist. Just awful! We're so embarrassed whilst she does this. And her 10/5/2yrs would be absolutely rolling her eyes at her behaviour...
But we see the way it is, and we acknowledge how she now is. And we don't exactly view it as not being understandable if the lovely 80yr old lady whose sweet, and no bother in the next bed gets seen first. Where as my mother whose kicking off and calling everyone a 'Nazi', or complaining they're black... Doesn't get seen first 
It's v hard for patients... It's v hard for overwhelmed staff too
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"Dementia can sometimes exacerbate existing prejudices or cause behavior changes that may seem out of character."
No shit  Although my gran getting insanely strong during her latter years wasn't expected! She'd smash stuff, pull mirror off walls that were riveted on. It was so frightening that she'd harm herself.... This tiny old lady, who'd give us bruising whilst griping wrists, dragging hair as we cared for her....
We're all animals at the end of the day. And we often revert to base instincts when everything else has gone 😢 |
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"Alot more has to been done for carers of people with dementia from the government.
"
A lot more has to been for carers in general... But they make up so much of the unseen population, and just crack on... The gov are slashing funding massively to the see... They'll not help those going under the radar |
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"Lesson 2 - listen to the family who know them well.
Their family dont know who they are by then especially if they live miles apart?"
Which is why I said "listen to the family who know them well."
My observations are of a lady with dementia who normally lives with the very family who are telling the medical people what she is like and what she does or does not do/have at home, but they are not listened to. |
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