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How much is intelligence and connection important.
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By *apperjg OP Man 9 weeks ago
Liverpool |
I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
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I don't need a load of shared interests but I do need a surface level of mutual friendliness. I'd be daft if I thought I could know someone well after a brief social.
As to your last paragraph I think those things hold different importance to each individual |
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There has to be chemistry so connection is important.
As far as intelligence goes it's not that important. Vs the masses I'm very intelligent yet have really close friends who struggled academically, 1 to the point of I was the one who taught him to read when we were in year 6. It's more about interests rather than knowledge and having the fantastic ability to talk absolute crap 💩 🤣
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Sometimes all I want is a pretty thing to play with.
Mostly I want whole people that interest and excite me on multiple levels.
Luckily I have enough of the latter that are also fucking beautiful 💜 |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
The two groups you have pigeonholed everyone into are not mutually exclusive.  |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
That's a lot of different questions there OP.
Intelligence? Not really important for a fab meet beyond a certain basic level.
Connection? Absolutely, but the type can vary from meet to meet. It may be purely physical - we both fancy each other, or it may be more.
Shared interests? Not bothered in the slightest. It can certainly help but I'm not going to refuse to meet someone who likes dancing and tennis because I like running and climbing. Shared values is more important but again, this depends on the type of connection. We had a number of really fun weekends together with another couple who shared very different political views to us. Despite what many people believe, those with different opinions aren't inherently evil and lacking morals, they were lovely people and good fun
Fantasy, roleplay, submission and control have zero relevance for me, maybe more so for some of those things for my wife
P |
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Connection is essential.
Intelligence can be attractive, but it's more the manner in which people think rather than their processing power, when it comes to compatibility.
Too much rigidity, even if it's imaginative, stifles arousal for me. Sex by numbers, even when mutually derived, can kill the mood swiftly. I need space for spontaneity, to merge into the moment together. For me that's the essential primal aspect. |
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Easy pick for me. Intelligence and connection. On a meet ill only spend say 30% of the time fucking. If I'm bored for the rest of the time the fucking isn't worth it. Plus the sex is less likely to be good. Even in a club I tend to wait until I have met someone a couple of times before getting intimate with them. I'm a very bad swinger really. |
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I do need some form of connection and to be of a similar mindset, before I'd want to meet someone.
I don't need anyone to be super intelligent & that doesn't really attract me to someone.
If we click, we click and that's great when it happens. |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
Massively appreciate the psychology and connection
A person who can stimulate my mind is really attractive/hot as it shows passion not just in sex but in life
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By the very fact that I'm a slow burn on here, with my chats and dialogue taking weeks and weeks and months, intelligence and chemistry is very important to me. I'm not looking for a pantomath but someone who can delve a little more beneath the veneer of their superficialities.
I'm not looking for quick and meaningless hookups or anything shallower than a water stain. |
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I think variety is a huge appeal to us when it comes to this lifestyle. So the level of connection varies depending what we're doing and we're we at. Also it's not something we over think. Something works or it doesn't. However there seems to be two questions here. One related to general connection for play and one more related to submission and role play.
Firstly connection. As a rule of thumb you have to talk us and laugh us into the bedroom. That's chemistry and feeling totally at ease with people generally works. But not always the case. Saying about variety we've been in situations in clubs where we've dragged in complete strangers into our filth without knowing them first. And one time we have this really hot couple who didn't speak English who join us mid sex and that was really hot, it just worked. So sometimes it can work in the right time and place without all the chit chat and ground work.
As to submission, roleplay, BDSM for us that is something that is very personal to us and rarely something we share with others. If we do it's something with people we have the right feel about and trust. |
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I don't necessarily need shared interests but I do need some sort of connection.
Likewise I'm not giving people IQ tests before I'll message them but if we can't hold a reasonable conversation then it's really unlikely we're ever going to meet. |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
Both. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve fucked at parties and clubs having no connection or emotional engagement at all - just two fucking animals.. literally.
Meets not just in the moment require communication, connection for fantasy, control etc. |
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Enormously important, I wouldn't shag someone I just like the look of intelligence and connection has to be their as well as many other things if I just wanted to play with a dick with no personality I've got plenty of toys for that |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
I'm a mix of the two clubs.
I never submit to women. It's against my religion. |
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"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
I'm a mix of the two clubs.
I never submit to women. It's against my religion."
Actually, let me correct that. If I'm being edged, I'll submit a little bit. 🙈 |
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Intelligence - I mean, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but someone who isn’t a complete dimwit is preferable, they don’t need to be a neurosurgeon though.
Connection - depends. In a relationship, very, in fwb, fairly and in nsa, not much if they’re hot as fuck.
Like all things and preferences it’ll vary between individuals. |
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By *ags73Man 9 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"I love the psychology of sex.
There will be two clubs here the the one club were people can fuck anything with no attachments.
The other that needs connection shared interests and notices.
What does it for you.
How much is fantasy role play submission or control important on fabswingers.
"
A few things in there.
Having a fuck without attachments can be different for different people, it’s not just you have these bits, I have those.
Connection, shared interests and notices? Some people need bits of each, not necessarily all together.
A connection and a spark certainly help. Shared interests help as people are into different things and that’s fine too.
Not sure what you mean by notices, some of us are time restricted for different reasons and if you’re lucky enough not to be, fair enough
As for fantasy, role play, control or submission; lots of people like lots of different stuff, I tend to go with flow, I’m not heavy on making demands myself but respect that others do. |
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Mental Intelligence is not as important to me, as emotional intelligence is. That leads to my connection with him.
However....in a club neither matter to me, as it's pure lust and attraction driving me towards sex with people, I'll probably never see again  |
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By *eliWoman 9 weeks ago
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People can fuck without attachment but it doesn't mean they'll fuck anything - there still has to be some level of base attraction (most of the time).
I find intelligence attractive, sure. Not in a sapiosexual way because f*ck knows I dislike that term and its popularity/misuse. I like people who are passionate, love finding out/seeing how someone's mind works, mental masturbation. Intelligence can be displayed in many ways, can't it?
Connection is really important to me. And it can get stronger or fade. I don't find myself attracted to someone, wanting to have sex etc unless there's a level of friendship there. Clubs, one night stands, NSA sex, all of that leaves me painfully dry.
The great thing about here is there's space for everyone. Bar the utter twunts. |
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I don’t think intelligence is necessarily the most important thing when it comes to sex, I think having a connection and so some chemistry between the participants is far more important that makes the sex much more fun for those involved |
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If we're talking about something we are both passionate about (eg, Art, History, Science, Psychology, Politics, BDSM practices) and the conversation is reciprocal and stimulating, educative and informative, and you place a hand on my leg and give it a squeeze, then I know we are going to get on just fine.
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Whether you are dolled to the nines, or just got out of bed wearing the first thing you threw on is irrelevant to me. |
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I’m interested in people and very curious, adventurous and passionate about lots of things, but I don’t need them to be like me to want to get naked.
I need to find them very sexy, attractive and need a lot of chemistry., the level that makes it hard to keep your hands off each other & you want to grab her by the hair and pull her onto your cock in the restaurant.
But to meet on a semi regular basis, I also need to find them interesting, funny & enjoy spending time with them, great sex alone isn’t quite enough.
Definitely don’t need shared interests and hobbies , but it would be nice to find a fb/fwb into film & photography |
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We both agree that there needs to be mental & physical stimulation/connection.
Simply turning up, shooting your load and grabbing your coat is very poor in our view and we choose very carefully with this in mind when looking for a playmate. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 days ago
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A bit of intelligence is welcome, the vacant doe eyed look doesn't really do it for me.
Connection, definitely. When they're talking and you're imagining them holding you down... Yeah, that works. Though I do find it quite hard to properly just be myself with someone, rum helps.
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"A bit of intelligence is welcome, the vacant doe eyed look doesn't really do it for me.
Connection, definitely. When they're talking and you're imagining them holding you down... Yeah, that works. Though I do find it quite hard to properly just be myself with someone, rum
"
What kind of rum do you like … |
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I don't need them to be Stephen Hawking but I do need to connect with them on more of a level than just attractiveness. Too many people think being pretty is enough but if they lack substance, very unlikely they will turn me on. |
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Intelligence is subjective and absolutely irrelevant to me.
Connection, charisma, and personality is vital though.
Looks not as important but there does have to be mutual attraction.
And a handsome cock is a bonus  |
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"Intelligence is subjective and absolutely irrelevant to me.
Connection, charisma, and personality is vital though.
Looks not as important but there does have to be mutual attraction.
And a handsome cock is a bonus "
And a gorgeous pair of breasts never harms things ….
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If Margot Robbie called me a wanker and generally abused me and went against all my politics ethics and values … but asked me to sleep with her ……. Err we might not sleep too much .
Am I that shallow? ….. probably not |
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"We don't have to have sex because we are friends, but we have to be friends to have sex.
Mrs S doesn't enjoy anonymous, there has to be some form of social/intellectual connection.
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'Intellectual connection' for us doesn't mean they have to have PhDs, just be on the same page, or at the very least, reading the same book. |
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"I've done the fuck and go and it got boring.
I much prefer to have a connection and attraction with someone, so you can have a conversation and get the phwoah
😈😈"
In trithg ms Robbie aside I’m much more closer to this then shallow sex.. |
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Even in our twenties when we were yf&s and having one night stands etc we didn't just have sex with people from a standing start do to speak. We'd usually have a couple of drinks, a good chat and a laugh before going back to one or the others place, we didn't know people in any depth or expect relationships to form . It's all so serious now. |
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By *ack688Man 6 days ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
For a one off, then I don’t need a connection beyond shared physical attraction, but a sustained thing needs much more of a connection with opinions and interests, I like to be able to have a conversation with them too. But those things don’t relate to any need for role play or submission and control, those things are ok but I don’t go looking for them. |
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"I don't put any importance on intelligence or connections. I'm more interested in a guys personality and sense of humour. "
I’ve got a lovely personality and brilliant sense of humour but considered by some stupid and not good at connecting….. |
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It really is situationally dependent for me, some circumstances require no knowledge of the person at all, other situations require knowledge of and a connection too the person.
Life is seldom an either or answer. |
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I have been extremely turned on and not cared what she/he looks like or their intellect. However that has, over the years, dissipated and I have yearned for more meets or even relationships with someone I find intellectually stimulating.
There must be some physical attraction but sometimes their intelligence, personality and empathy can override an initial lack of attraction to their looks or body type.
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