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[redacted] if you’re reading this I just want to say
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By *weetRollMan 17 weeks ago
Angus/Dundee/Perth |
"What do you want to say to someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time? "
This is what I would like convey over a very lengthy conversation. Have had to crystallize it all into a reflective piece and its still too long but whatever, nobody is obligated to read it.
[ I had so much to give, but hesitancy and fears prevented me from doing the things that must be done to foster the sort of relationship I truly wanted.
I was not prepared for what came, nor was I capable enough to prevent it. In spite of my numerous life victories and triumphs, how things developed shook me.
The irony of such overwhelming triumph in every other facet of my life being undermined in part by my failure to accomplish one of the things that mattered to me the most, that had to do with you, what we could have been.
Many important lessons have been seared into me from that experience, that disappointment and confusion. The death of misguided hope; a desire which itself was one of the chains lulling me to... inadequacy.
A cosmic joke it all was, the universe granting me boons of competence as it keeled over and laughed at the young fool: promising but incomplete. Romantic in heart but inarticulate in action.
The chapter of 'us' and what could have been was shredded years ago. But I know exactly why things ended like that and I will not forget it. Ever.
In the aftermath of our parting, I find a peculiar grace - that for a brief moment in time, our paths aligned enough to call you friend. That friendship, untainted by my later failings, remains a truth I can hold onto, even as I learned to let everything else go. ] |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"ive literally just written this in my notes app.
because that's what i do when i can't talk to someone.. it all goes in there.
im missing you today.
Px "
I do this too ❤️ |
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