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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
Had a wobble earlier in week.
There was someone, it felt right, it was right but I did something wrong at the wrong time and fucked up.
And.. all I had in my head during my wobble was her and wanting to explain. Wanting to say, wanting to fix. Knowing she was right, knowing she made me feel right.
But, time passes and that clarity had came far too late for even the most perfectly gilded words to repair my stupidity.
As much as I want to,
Sometimes you really have to own it and say ‘you stupid c*nt’ and know to leave them alone rather than assuage your own petulant guilt at being a grade A arse.
I’d maybe rather wish that wasn’t the truth but, hey ho.
Am I wrong? Or are there fables of contacting that person out of the blue to fess up stupidity and there being a happy ever after?
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It depends
Was it on here or off here
If on here have they blocked you or do they still interact with you if it’s on forums
If it’s off here do they know you well and will know it’s a one off
I have done something similar and just “let it go”. Was it the right thing. It was the right thing for me
If you want you could message and apologise and see if they read it but if they’ve not been back in touch you have to accept it’s most probably done.
Learn from your actions and try not to repeat them |
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Most of the time an apology is appreciated. It should be given freely without expectation of the other person even acknowledging it, let alone the hope of rekindling something. However if they have specifically requested no contact, then respect that.
We all fuck up OP, it’s human. We are complicated beings and that means making mistakes. Acknowledging your mistake is good xx |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"It depends
Was it on here or off here
If on here have they blocked you or do they still interact with you if it’s on forums
If it’s off here do they know you well and will know it’s a one off
I have done something similar and just “let it go”. Was it the right thing. It was the right thing for me
If you want you could message and apologise and see if they read it but if they’ve not been back in touch you have to accept it’s most probably done.
Learn from your actions and try not to repeat them "
Wasn’t here. Life pre-fab. |
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"Most of the time an apology is appreciated. It should be given freely without expectation of the other person even acknowledging it, let alone the hope of rekindling something. However if they have specifically requested no contact, then respect that.
We all fuck up OP, it’s human. We are complicated beings and that means making mistakes. Acknowledging your mistake is good xx"
I’ve always lived by the motto of be 100% right and 100% wrong.
When you’re wrong admit it. Own it and apologise. Hope the other party accepts your sincerity. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Most of the time an apology is appreciated. It should be given freely without expectation of the other person even acknowledging it, let alone the hope of rekindling something. However if they have specifically requested no contact, then respect that.
We all fuck up OP, it’s human. We are complicated beings and that means making mistakes. Acknowledging your mistake is good xx"
No request. More a fade away and that makes me think no, leave it.
No good can come from even the sincerest words I have. |
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But, time passes and that clarity had came far too late for even the most perfectly gilded words to repair my stupidity.
You write that
So as you say it’s a long time ago do you know where they are, has their life moved on, would they appreciate you opening it up again |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"But, time passes and that clarity had came far too late for even the most perfectly gilded words to repair my stupidity.
You write that
So as you say it’s a long time ago do you know where they are, has their life moved on, would they appreciate you opening it up again "
Indeed and that’s why it’s a wobble.
In the moment of wobble you don’t see that and think hmm.
Coulda/woulda/shoulda. |
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"But, time passes and that clarity had came far too late for even the most perfectly gilded words to repair my stupidity.
You write that
So as you say it’s a long time ago do you know where they are, has their life moved on, would they appreciate you opening it up again
Indeed and that’s why it’s a wobble.
In the moment of wobble you don’t see that and think hmm.
Coulda/woulda/shoulda."
If it’s an old wound, then it’s probably best left closed. If they want to open it, they’ll reach out |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"But, time passes and that clarity had came far too late for even the most perfectly gilded words to repair my stupidity.
You write that
So as you say it’s a long time ago do you know where they are, has their life moved on, would they appreciate you opening it up again
Indeed and that’s why it’s a wobble.
In the moment of wobble you don’t see that and think hmm.
Coulda/woulda/shoulda.
If it’s an old wound, then it’s probably best left closed. If they want to open it, they’ll reach out "
Yeah.
I don’t know why my mind took me there. It was a vivid sort of series of thoughts.
Maybe a desire for what I had, maybe an acknowledgment of how imperfect things are?
I don’t fully know.
I do know that, I didn’t fully think through what I did and that’s on me. |
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Rag, Rag, Rag, oh Rag.
Your yearnings...break my heart.
But..."happy EVER after" is an ideal unsupported by the evidence.
Ecstatic beginning, moderately pleasurable middle bit, and thereafter hours of tedium with occasional moments of fondness seems to fit reality more if you're talking about classic one-love one-life scenarios.
Our grandparents and great grandparents didn't have it any better - they just had no choice but to put up and make the best of it, or face financial ruin and social ostracisation.
There are much more reliable "happy ever afters" than romantic love can sustain, even though our yearnings try to persuade us otherwise. |
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By *agnar73 OP Man 4 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Rag, Rag, Rag, oh Rag.
Your yearnings...break my heart.
But..."happy EVER after" is an ideal unsupported by the evidence.
Ecstatic beginning, moderately pleasurable middle bit, and thereafter hours of tedium with occasional moments of fondness seems to fit reality more if you're talking about classic one-love one-life scenarios.
Our grandparents and great grandparents didn't have it any better - they just had no choice but to put up and make the best of it, or face financial ruin and social ostracisation.
There are much more reliable "happy ever afters" than romantic love can sustain, even though our yearnings try to persuade us otherwise. "
We’re all fucking doomed.
Okay.. I’ll make do with nearest available one. |
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"Rag, Rag, Rag, oh Rag.
Your yearnings...break my heart.
But..."happy EVER after" is an ideal unsupported by the evidence.
Ecstatic beginning, moderately pleasurable middle bit, and thereafter hours of tedium with occasional moments of fondness seems to fit reality more if you're talking about classic one-love one-life scenarios.
Our grandparents and great grandparents didn't have it any better - they just had no choice but to put up and make the best of it, or face financial ruin and social ostracisation.
There are much more reliable "happy ever afters" than romantic love can sustain, even though our yearnings try to persuade us otherwise.
We’re all fucking doomed.
Okay.. I’ll make do with nearest available one."
Nah. We're not doomed. But there are only a few, increasingly narrow paths out of being so.
They're there though.
Winking, giving clues.
It's a great challenge, and I luvs me a quest . |
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