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Lovemaking tips for us oldies
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By *xhib12 OP Man 8 weeks ago
Blyth |
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember...
6. Use extra poly grip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Paracetamol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the act...
8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news .... even if its only 8PM... !!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
It's good to laugh so most of all enjoy it while you can. |
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"What Three Words location is easier to shout at the emergency telephonist "
But make sure not to confuse them with your 'safe' words! Yes, we need more than one, because we're likely to forget the first two! 🤣 |
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"What Three Words location is easier to shout at the emergency telephonist
But make sure not to confuse them with your 'safe' words! Yes, we need more than one, because we're likely to forget the first two! 🤣"
Maybe have it written on tape at top of the especially large number pad mobile phone?
If it’s purple monkey dishwasher I’m screwed. |
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"What Three Words location is easier to shout at the emergency telephonist
But make sure not to confuse them with your 'safe' words! Yes, we need more than one, because we're likely to forget the first two! 🤣
Maybe have it written on tape at top of the especially large number pad mobile phone?
If it’s purple monkey dishwasher I’m screwed."
🤣🤣🤣 |
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"13. Fuck someone younger (minimum five years).
Sure, you'll be aching and exhausted after but for a few seconds/minutes you'll feel like your youthful, virile self once more."
I always tell my fwb to take it easy. They have nothing to prove to me. |
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"13. Fuck someone younger (minimum five years).
Sure, you'll be aching and exhausted after but for a few seconds/minutes you'll feel like your youthful, virile self once more."
Don't get a lover more than 3 years your junior as their constant reminders to take it easy will eventually lead to murderous rage. |
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"Find someone who will do all the work while you pay there. 
You should be reporting anyone who offers payment
Damn! Hoist by my own petard and autocorrect. 
Of course I meant 'lay there '"
Apologies. I just wanted to go Forum Mod on you. |
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"Find someone who will do all the work while you pay there.
You should be reporting anyone who offers payment
Damn! Hoist by my own petard and autocorrect.
Of course I meant 'lay there '
Apologies. I just wanted to go Forum Mod on you."
How was it? 😂 |
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By *eliWoman 8 weeks ago
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"13. Fuck someone younger (minimum five years).
Sure, you'll be aching and exhausted after but for a few seconds/minutes you'll feel like your youthful, virile self once more.
I always tell my fwb to take it easy. They have nothing to prove to me."
Exactly. You accept them for who they are, wrinkles and aching, creaking joints et al. That's really beautiful Willy. 🧡 |
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"13. Fuck someone younger (minimum five years).
Sure, you'll be aching and exhausted after but for a few seconds/minutes you'll feel like your youthful, virile self once more.
I always tell my fwb to take it easy. They have nothing to prove to me.
Exactly. You accept them for who they are, wrinkles and aching, creaking joints et al. That's really beautiful Willy. 🧡"
Everyone deserves a chance in life❤️ |
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By *eliWoman 8 weeks ago
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"13. Fuck someone younger (minimum five years).
Sure, you'll be aching and exhausted after but for a few seconds/minutes you'll feel like your youthful, virile self once more.
Don't get a lover more than 3 years your junior as their constant reminders to take it easy will eventually lead to murderous rage."
But their charming wit and mediocre to middling sex will soon have that fiery intent quelled, I'm certain of it. 💕 |
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"...I always tell my fwb to take it easy. They have nothing to prove to me."
•
And this reinforces the moderately high regard I have you, Willy. I admire the benevolence that you bestow upon your vintage lovers. 💌 |
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"...I always tell my fwb to take it easy. They have nothing to prove to me.
•
And this reinforces the moderately high regard I have you, Willy. I admire the benevolence that you bestow upon your vintage lovers. 💌"
Not all heroes wear fall alarms 🫶 |
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"He sure to add 'for your age' to every compliment you pay. There's nothing is old 'uns like more than being damned with faint praise. "
I've had that about my skin.
Oh you have soft skin for someone your age. I swear people think you turn into a leathery tortoise once you turn 50. Actually, the first time I heard it I must have been in my 40s. |
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"He sure to add 'for your age' to every compliment you pay. There's nothing is old 'uns like more than being damned with faint praise.
I've had that about my skin.
Oh you have soft skin for someone your age. I swear people think you turn into a leathery tortoise once you turn 50. Actually, the first time I heard it I must have been in my 40s."
There are loads of assumptions made about older people aren't there. I was guilty of it myself |
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