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Do you listen or care
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About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words |
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"About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words "
I care about those opinions of people I I know enough to respect and / or care about them as people. No disrespect to fab but there are not that many on here.
If someone I care about or respect thinks bad of me of course it affects me negatively, I think you would have to be a very special individual to be that thick skinned for it to have no impact. But I will always try and be constructive and move forward positively, understanding, talking to them and
others , making changes if needed.
When it’s genuine & well thought out I learn from both positive and negative criticism. I think the problem is that a huge percentage of feedback or criticism on social media and dating forums is complete rubbish.
Some people are clearly social vampires and will look to transmit their own frustrations and failings onto others through direct criticisms or other manipulative ways, forum gaslighting, gossip etc. Unfortunately places like this will always have a higher number of those kinds of people than normal life |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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No not at all. It is not even an age thing it never bothered me and I realised it around age 12. All that has changed with age is that I will probably tell you now.
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"About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words
I care about those opinions of people I I know enough to respect and / or care about them as people. No disrespect to fab but there are not that many on here.
If someone I care about or respect thinks bad of me of course it affects me negatively, I think you would have to be a very special individual to be that thick skinned for it to have no impact. But I will always try and be constructive and move forward positively, understanding, talking to them and
others , making changes if needed.
When it’s genuine & well thought out I learn from both positive and negative criticism. I think the problem is that a huge percentage of feedback or criticism on social media and dating forums is complete rubbish.
Some people are clearly social vampires and will look to transmit their own frustrations and failings onto others through direct criticisms or other manipulative ways, forum gaslighting, gossip etc. Unfortunately places like this will always have a higher number of those kinds of people than normal life"
Thank you, this for me is a great answer.
Lately I have allowed something to effect me far more than it should and it does make me question me |
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No, nobody knows me like I do, I’ve lived in this mind for 42 years, I know what goes on in here, people spout nonsense, what some thinks of me good or bad does not effect me in any way, that’s just their perception, that’s not me that’s not who I am, that’s just what their mind has decided I am.
The mr |
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By *aven.Woman 3 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
If it's someone that actually knows me then yes, people on here or in real life that have never spoke to me then no. You make snap judgements on people all the time, doesn't make them right.
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I do learn and adjust from those I value the opinion of. You can only do that though if you are confident that their opinion comes from a good place. Letting the opinion of total strangers affect you can be ill advised. I do care about others and will always let that be the core of my behaviour towards them. |
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I think for me weirdly I take criticism from others I don’t know well worse than I do over people who know me well
I guess it’s like you don’t know what makes me tick but is that the image I’m giving |
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"I think for me weirdly I take criticism from others I don’t know well worse than I do over people who know me well
I guess it’s like you don’t know what makes me tick but is that the image I’m giving "
The opinion of strangers is like seeing an advert on the side of a bus and then reviewing the product based on the ad. |
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Sometimes it can get hard not to let peoples actions and behaviour towards you have a negative impact. Certainly here at Fab.
There are a lot of people here who contribute towards a toxic environment.
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I made a post last week when I was feeling very low and I must say the lovely people that replied certainly helped me when I was in a low spot last Thursday evening. So i am very grateful to people on here for taking the time to reply |
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"I made a post last week when I was feeling very low and I must say the lovely people that replied certainly helped me when I was in a low spot last Thursday evening. So i am very grateful to people on here for taking the time to reply"
Plenty of wonderful people on here but also some that are as has already been said not worth the time of day. Sad really but it is what it is and not different to the world out there. Some can handle that ok, others find it it more difficult I suppose. Hopefully will not let it affect them though not always that easy. |
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By *eliWoman 3 weeks ago
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I do care to a certain extent. It depends on who. I've been on the receiving end of someone deliberately lashing out, saying hurtful lies because they're hurt. If it's someone I know, I'll listen to their opinion and if it's not from a place of emotional abuse then I'll try and learn from it.
Words are only words depending on the closeness. They're not always just words. |
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I generally don’t pay any real notice to what people think because I have learnt that most people are too preoccupied with themselves to even notice me.
Critcism and general bullying behaviour just tends to bounce off me. Life is too short to live your life on other people’s terms. |
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By *8on33Man 3 weeks ago
winfrith |
I live my life here as a fleeting glimpse of sexual perversions your opinions although valid to you and what you want haven't any impotess here ,they matter not a jot ineffectual jabberings ,my profiles how I want it my pics are of me and how I want them ,have fun one and all and put your advice to better use. |
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I don't really care what people other than my good friends and family think of me
If someone's opinion is correct I already know. If it isn't correct then I can't do anything about it and I don't have the time or inclination to change it.
Negative criticism is rarely useful because it's not often well received |
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By *a LunaWoman 3 weeks ago
South Wales |
"I value the opinion of those I like / care about. As for the rest, it's no concern of mine."
This for me too, mostly. I try my best not to be an arse but sometimes we all have off days.
Personally speaking, before I was put on medication for my menopausal symptoms and my anxiety, I feel I was a totally different person. I suffer from hyper vigilance and I was just a coiled spring all the time. Tense. Moody. But the medication has helped.
Others might have thought I was just an angry aggressive bint. And reflecting back, I probably was, even on here.
Nowadays I’m much more chilled. I feel like my true self.
So what I’m getting at, in a long winded way, is that other people only get a snapshot of you - they judge you on that moment - and that moment isn’t always a true reflection of who you really are, or what you’re going through (or have been through).
If that makes sense - I’m in a deep mood this morning, sorry! 🥺
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Generally not, whether in person or via the inter web, however, there can be times when an external perspective of how I am being perceived is useful, we can all become a little too absorbed in ourselves at times and become less aware of how we are impacting on others.
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If it’s someone whose views I value, then I’ll listen and take it to heart.
Generally I don’t care what strangers think, their opinion is like an asshole - everyone has one. However we all have things we are self conscious about so there are times when something can sting.
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"If it’s someone whose views I value, then I’ll listen and take it to heart.
Generally I don’t care what strangers think, their opinion is like an asshole - everyone has one. However we all have things we are self conscious about so there are times when something can sting.
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I agree. Sometimes someone can hit on something that you don't particularly like about yourself and it reminds you that other people don't like it either. |
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I don't really believe that we should only care about the opinions of those we've pre-approved. As they will have a biased view.
Some of the most insightful opinions have come from the most unusual sources in my life. And they are the ones that have had the biggest impact on my life.
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The only opinions that matter are those of people who know me well.
Random anonymous people on the internet thinking I'm a dick doesn't really have any effect at all.
It's very subjective anyway because I've been told I'm a dick for the exact same comments that others have praised me for.
If I was to allow the negative opinions of idiots to affect me I wouldn't be here. |
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As a younger man I suffered from excruciating levels of anxiety based on the opinions and perceived criticisms of others.
I've come through that to a point where I just try to be self aware and evaluate the truth in what I see and hear both outside and inside myself.
If I find myself becoming defensive it's often a sign that that something has triggered an insecurity and it can be useful to have those things highlighted. The same is true for the things that artificially inflate my ego or give me false confidence.
I reflect on my reactions whenever I can so whatever is coming towards me is used as an opportunity to grow.
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"About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words "
Listen to othets, be prepared to change your opinion for the good of all and most of all just be polite, you dont know what paths others have walked |
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I created a thread here last week asking a question about something personal which took a lot for me to post. I did receive a few supportive replies but also some nasty and derogatory comments which made me feel like crap. I suffer from anxiety and reading what people wrote sent me into a bit of a depression if I'm honest. When I tried to defend myself I was banned from posting in the forums and had to watch while others posted whatever they wanted. Not a nice feeling. |
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I don’t give a shit what most people say as I know they are no better than me. But closest family and few friends I trust yes I do listen as I know they care and most times the truth is hard to hear. |
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"I created a thread here last week asking a question about something personal which took a lot for me to post. I did receive a few supportive replies but also some nasty and derogatory comments which made me feel like crap. I suffer from anxiety and reading what people wrote sent me into a bit of a depression if I'm honest. When I tried to defend myself I was banned from posting in the forums and had to watch while others posted whatever they wanted. Not a nice feeling."
Just went to have a look. Can't see any thread you created on your green arrow? |
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"About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words "
I don't give two hoots, your friends are what count. |
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"When you’re young you care what everyone thinks. As you grow older and learn a few of life’s lessons, sometimes the hard way, you learn to ignore the opinions of others. "
It's so true. I noticed I had less fucks to give after forty. |
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"I created a thread here last week asking a question about something personal which took a lot for me to post. I did receive a few supportive replies but also some nasty and derogatory comments which made me feel like crap. I suffer from anxiety and reading what people wrote sent me into a bit of a depression if I'm honest. When I tried to defend myself I was banned from posting in the forums and had to watch while others posted whatever they wanted. Not a nice feeling.
Just went to have a look. Can't see any thread you created on your green arrow? "
I asked admin to remove it as I was just getting battered by idiots. |
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"When you’re young you care what everyone thinks. As you grow older and learn a few of life’s lessons, sometimes the hard way, you learn to ignore the opinions of others.
It's so true. I noticed I had less fucks to give after forty."
Wait til after fifty  |
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There are people whose good opinion I value. There aren't many of them, but they're people I love and respect.
Otherwise I will probably listen to someone's opinion if it's offered in the real world. Sometimes I'll find an insight there and it proves useful.
Online I tend to put very little weight on anyone's opinion of me. I mistrust the positive and don't have enough head-space to spare to take on board the negative.
It's nice to be liked and respected but I'm not going to make changes to chase online approval. |
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I'm interested in developing the right good relationships, so see it as important to gain a good understanding of the people I'm with, inside of them, including their feedback. Good relationships aren't zero effort or static. Neither are we ourselves. I'm not interested in gossip or hearsay, just what people want to share directly with me. |
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Before I'm going to reassess my life on the basis of the random judgment of a stranger, I'm probably going to want to see some evidence that they have taken the time to get to know me and understand me on some level. |
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By *oo..Woman 3 weeks ago
Boo's World |
About the opinion others have of you whether in life in general or on here?
- Now it doesn't bother me so much off here, but it used too.
Does it affect you in a positive or negative way?
- Used to upset me quite badly
Do you learn more from negative criticism or are some people just morale hoovers who like and enjoy making you feel crap or alternatively feel their positive words are just that, words.
-There are a very small number of people on here that seem to take great pleasure in following a bully around the site, and encouraging the nasty behaviour with silly little playground style remarks. None have ever met me from that group of people (bar 2) so it's always something that will stick in my mind more because I have zero tolerance towards it. It's not needed and it shouldn't be something found funny or encouraged in "normal" life or on fab. The day these people grow up it will be an actual miracle. |
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Oh here, absolutely couldn't give a flying *uck whatsoever.
Away from here, yes I do of course, I care what people think and would never intentionally hurt someone.
What's funny is the 'be kind' people I see here sometimes, and those who say they have a very open mind are the exact opposite if your opinion differs from theirs |
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