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Tips for men
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Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it  |
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By *CExeCouple 4 weeks ago
Lincoln/Exeter |
I'd expand on humour to include being self deprecating and not throwing a hissy fit if someone teases you in the forums. Spoken to too many lasses who've received nasty dms after chatting in the forums. Chels refuses to message on here because of that type of response to normal chat after a pea dick sent some unpleasant attacks to her. |
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips."
I couldn't agree with you more, my dear esteemed chap. †
"1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man."
Only the above-average ladies should be afforded adequate respect. The lacklustre ones need to earn it. 🌿
"2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected."
Mine is the size of a cigarillo and still remains behind closed doors. ✔️
"3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here."
Or, failing that, draw up a Service Level Agreement (SLA) with appropriate response times. 📝
"4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks."
Most of the women on here are thoroughbred Mares. ❤️
"5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested."
Unless you're a Champion Lover, which should be shouted across the Fab rooftops. 😈
"6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social."
Agreed. Wise words. 🫂
"7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging."
And don't forget to exfoliate if you're celebrating.
#HappyBuffday
"8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them."
There are ladies here?!? 😱
"Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
Alternatively, tattoo it to you phallus as a hard reminder. |
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
I couldn't agree with you more, my dear esteemed chap. †
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
Only the above-average ladies should be afforded adequate respect. The lacklustre ones need to earn it. 🌿
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
Mine is the size of a cigarillo and still remains behind closed doors. ✔️
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
Or, failing that, draw up a Service Level Agreement (SLA) with appropriate response times. 📝
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
Most of the women on here are thoroughbred Mares. ❤️
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
Unless you're a Champion Lover, which should be shouted across the Fab rooftops. 😈
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
Agreed. Wise words. 🫂
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
And don't forget to exfoliate if you're celebrating.
#HappyBuffday
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
There are ladies here?!? 😱
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it
Alternatively, tattoo it to you phallus as a hard reminder."
How big is your phallus? |
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"But, that sounds really boringgggg.
Also some women say they like my schnitzel 😥
Schnitzel? With noodles? You know it’s not sausage right??
Wheeze...  !"
🤭
It adds new meaning to battered sausage! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I agree with the sentiments OP.
But I suspect the desired audience are too busy typing one handed sending one line messages to venture in here to read your post.
Most don't even read the profile they're messaging. Which gives me hours of fun replying when they compliment my tits and ask for a quick gobby tonight on the couples profile. 🤷♂️ |
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"Your profile pic looks like a frowning face
•
If that's how you speak to the gentlemen then I dread to think how you address the ladies on here.
You don't need to nit-pic his profile photo."
Funny, because it's my chest   |
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By *IXEN200Woman 4 weeks ago
newcastle upon tyne |
"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
Very well said, but I guess it will fall on dear ears or should I say blind eyes |
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"I'd expand on humour to include being self deprecating and not throwing a hissy fit if someone teases you in the forums. Spoken to too many lasses who've received nasty dms after chatting in the forums. Chels refuses to message on here because of that type of response to normal chat after a pea dick sent some unpleasant attacks to her."
I’ve never understood why people go to abuse following a rejection. What do they hope to gain.
I mean never has anyone received abuse and went “well when you put it like that i guess I’ll change my mind”
All it does is solidify the fact they made the right call and then your username is going to be shared amongst their circle.
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I’m totally honest on this well. I’m just after sex. That is all. I’m a father to 3 kids, have had many relationships. I’m happy in my own life I run a successful business and I do well. I respect all women as much as anyone else. I’m just straight up blunt and honest |
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It's "manners maketh man" by the way.
Unfortunately there is a counter argument for a few of your points because there are many women on fab who not only enjoy dick pics but encourage them.
There are also many women on fab who have zero interest in gentlemen and actually just want a quick anonymous fuck just as there are many who don't want penpals or extended conversation and just want to go straight to sex.
Apart from that, anyone regardless of gender who can't read and understand profiles and message etiquette won't be open to advice. |
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"Your profile pic looks like a frowning face
•
If that's how you speak to the gentlemen then I dread to think how you address the ladies on here.
You don't need to nit-pic his profile photo.
Funny, because it's my chest "
Wasn't a dig I had my head tilted to the left and it resembled a frowning face or maybe I stared at too many optical illusion posters years ago in gift shops |
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"It's "manners maketh man" by the way.
Unfortunately there is a counter argument for a few of your points because there are many women on fab who not only enjoy dick pics but encourage them.
There are also many women on fab who have zero interest in gentlemen and actually just want a quick anonymous fuck just as there are many who don't want penpals or extended conversation and just want to go straight to sex.
Apart from that, anyone regardless of gender who can't read and understand profiles and message etiquette won't be open to advice. "
I agree with this.
Also anyone who needs to read this probably won’t be reading it. And to be honest if I was a decent bloke and was reading this I’d find it a bit patronising. I like you op and kinda get why you did the thread though |
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"It's a shame it needs saying. Surely this should be the basics us blokes should be doing. Can only imagine the messages some ladies get 🤦🏻♂️
Perfectly nice ones actually.
"
I'll try harder.
But always good to have an advice thread. I look forward to the one about how to tie my shoelaces. |
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
🥰🥰🥰 |
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"It's "manners maketh man" by the way.
Unfortunately there is a counter argument for a few of your points because there are many women on fab who not only enjoy dick pics but encourage them.
There are also many women on fab who have zero interest in gentlemen and actually just want a quick anonymous fuck just as there are many who don't want penpals or extended conversation and just want to go straight to sex.
Apart from that, anyone regardless of gender who can't read and understand profiles and message etiquette won't be open to advice. "
🥰🥰🥰 |
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By *aven.Woman 4 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"You forgot the final one OP:
9. If all else fails do a white knight post on the forum."
10. Simp at every female
11. Don't forget, ALL women are beautiful
12. Apologise for even existing
|
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"You forgot the final one OP:
9. If all else fails do a white knight post on the forum.
10. Simp at every female
11. Don't forget, ALL women are beautiful
12. Apologise for even existing
"
🤔 I've never understood the 'white knight' tag, but I respect your view, and disagree.
|
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"But, that sounds really boringgggg.
Also some women say they like my schnitzel 😥"
Are these the women who are suddenly too poorly to meet you?
Or the second best ones you’re hoping to “hook up” with in the meantime? |
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I only come here for the comedy, sarcasm, piss taking and whatever nonsense whats his chops has found in the minor news outlets- been a while since i bagged an actual totty here (much better places than Fab for a bunk up these days) and even then, she's not in the clique or even the forum.
Am i allowed to send pictures of actual Cuban cigars BTW? |
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
Well said! |
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Firstly men on this can do what they want. Nobody can preach to anyone. But there are always consequences to certain actions so let that play out. I’m always honest and some people think that’s controversial these days 🤷🏼♂️ This is not a dating site and if you think that then you are living in whoville. Some men will be what they will be that will never change. Just like some women will be what they will be and nothing will change that to. It’s just human nature |
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"It’s the ‘well you’re nothing special’ replies that make me chuckle! Special enough for your to think you could get your bits wet! Bugger off back to tinder "
One minute they want you in bed, the next you're awful. 🤷♂️  |
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"Frankly, I’m getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here’s a few tips."
• Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us—though some of us just complain in our heads instead.
"1) the ladies aren’t bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man."
• Exactly! Women are people, not a grocery list item—besides, even butcher shops have standards.
"2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it’s likely gonna get rejected."
• If it’s really that impressive, it should come with a warning label, not as your profile picture.
"3) patience. If you send a message, don’t expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here."
• Imagine, a world where people do things other than stare at their phones! Who knew?
"4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don’t moan if you get no response or a no thanks."
• Remember, it’s not personal—it’s just your profile picture.
"5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don’t bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody’s interested."
• Seriously, if your best joke is about yourself, let’s hope it’s one that doesn’t need to be censored.
"6) go to a club if you’re struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don’t be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don’t get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social."
• Ah yes, alcohol—known for making people so much more charming and totally not just louder.
"7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging."
• Smelling like you actually showered? Groundbreaking.
"8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn’t rent a shag. The lady’s get a hard enough time without you hassling them."
• They’re not delivery drivers—they don’t take orders. Just relax and enjoy the chat. |
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"It’s the ‘well you’re nothing special’ replies that make me chuckle! Special enough for your to think you could get your bits wet! Bugger off back to tinder
One minute they want you in bed, the next you're awful. 🤷♂️ "
I gave the polite version  |
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
This. Pretty much. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
Or... Get a real life offline |
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By *.T.Man 4 weeks ago
Belfast |
Why give advice to people when all you are doing is training people how to mask their true selves?
All of the OP's points are valid but surely could be summarised as don't be a dick and don't think with your dick...
You have now handed out a crib sheet for those with no social skills on how to blag that all important meet without revealing how much of a dick you are in real life.
I see it has gone down a storm with the ladies. I just hope your intent wasn't to butter many parsnips in the process. |
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"Why give advice to people when all you are doing is training people how to mask their true selves?
All of the OP's points are valid but surely could be summarised as don't be a dick and don't think with your dick...
You have now handed out a crib sheet for those with no social skills on how to blag that all important meet without revealing how much of a dick you are in real life.
I see it has gone down a storm with the ladies. I just hope your intent wasn't to butter many parsnips in the process."
Frankly, if you think that was my intention, you've missed the point. |
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"Why give advice to people when all you are doing is training people how to mask their true selves?
All of the OP's points are valid but surely could be summarised as don't be a dick and don't think with your dick...
You have now handed out a crib sheet for those with no social skills on how to blag that all important meet without revealing how much of a dick you are in real life.
I see it has gone down a storm with the ladies. I just hope your intent wasn't to butter many parsnips in the process."
The wank zombies who are typing with one hand and jerking off with the other are too busy spamming low effort messages to be reading forum posts. I wouldn't worry about it. |
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By *.T.Man 4 weeks ago
Belfast |
"Why give advice to people when all you are doing is training people how to mask their true selves?
All of the OP's points are valid but surely could be summarised as don't be a dick and don't think with your dick...
You have now handed out a crib sheet for those with no social skills on how to blag that all important meet without revealing how much of a dick you are in real life.
I see it has gone down a storm with the ladies. I just hope your intent wasn't to butter many parsnips in the process.
Frankly, if you think that was my intention, you've missed the point."
I've clearly missed the point of the whole post.
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"Frankly, I'm getting too old and fed up seeing pity me posts about fellas not getting replies/meets etc. Here's a few tips.
1) the ladies aren't bits of meat. Show some respect and be courteous. Manners maketh the man.
2) put your dick pics in private, not your profile or in your first message. Yeah, it might be longer than a Cuban cigar, but it's likely gonna get rejected.
3) patience. If you send a message, don't expect an instant reply. People have a life away from here.
4) rejection. Suck it up. Not all horses are for courses. Be respectful and don't moan if you get no response or a no thanks.
5) humour. Have something interesting or funny to say. Don't bang on about your sexual prowess, nobody's interested.
6) go to a club if you're struggling. Get known. Talk to people and get involved. Don't be Billy no mates in the corner supping a lager, and don't get pissed. Alternatively, go to a social.
7) if you get a meet, be a gentleman. Be smart, smell good, groomed and engaging.
8) finally, expect fuck all. This isn't rent a shag. The lady's get a hard enough time without you hassling them.
Print this out, put it on your fridge and stick to it "
Good shout Fife Ninja, couldn’t say it better myself.
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