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Feeling insecure since...
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I turned 40 last month. Since then, I haven't so much as kissed a woman.
I had one offer of a hookup (not from here) but, she changed her mind kinda last minute.
This isn't a "pity me" thread.
I'm just curious, do many others find that age, even though its largely arbitrary, makes them feel less attractive and more insecure even though physically you're really no different the day after a birthday that you are the day before?
I barely had any sexual contact last year and I didn't get in my head about it but, since turning 40...
Please tell me I'm not alone! |
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Think it’s a natural thought train. We all want to feel younger, look younger etc. To be honest though, I wouldn’t thank you to actually ‘be’ younger.
Ageing has its qualities too. It’s not all about looks.
K |
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My early 40's were OK meet wise - on fact, they were pretty fkin great
I'm finding that I fit far fewer folks criteria since the age started with a 5 though
It is what it is
Nothing I can do about it
The clock keeps on ticking |
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Hey Phil, I’m generally not fussed about age. After all, it’s always been the case we get a year older every year and can do nothing about it, so I just let life happen.
As you said, you’re no different from the days before your birthday and remember - you had the same amount of no sex last year as this. So being 40 hasn’t changed anything and it is, as you say, all in your mind.
I have no techniques for getting past that but I hope you find a way that works pal  |
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"My early 40's were OK meet wise - on fact, they were pretty fkin great
I'm finding that I fit far fewer folks criteria since the age started with a 5 though
It is what it is
Nothing I can do about it
The clock keeps on ticking"
It’s true that a lot have the age limit at 50. Not so much men but a lot of ladies do, I’m
Mostly looking to meet ladies so it makes it even harder 😕 |
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So, last year my colleague let me know that he was on fab, and had never been to a club. So I took him to a club for his fortieth. He's had more sex since turning forty than he has in previous years.
I think it's natural to feel the pressures of age and get in your head about it. But it really doesn't mean anything.
Chin up. Focus on the things that you think are holding you back that you can do something about and improve those if you want to do more 💜 |
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It is what it is and no doubt we were mostly the same when we were the young kids on the block though ? but seems some do actually think once you reach a certain age ? and that's 100% their choice ! Mrs4 still looks hot as hell and gets admired and strange but true even Mr4 gets afew sly smiles ( that he mostly 100% misses much to the amusment of Mrs4) but keep your chin up and you'll soon be up and running ! |
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"Turn 50 and see how shite that feels!"
Unless I meet someone to start a family with, I'm not sure turning 50 will be an issue for me to be honest.
Not in a 'woe is me' way. More in a... 'starting to not see the point in this' kinda way.
Hang on, that sounds... I have no intention of giving up on life! Just, I'm running out of time to get my ducks in a row before I give up and become a hermit! |
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I actually get what your saying but trust me it's nothing to do with age it's just a clitch in life that has happened we've all been there ,just keep pushing through forget the number , we have all got our own insecurities I'm well known for mine but I ride it out an move on 
Your time will come |
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"I turned 40 last month. Since then, I haven't so much as kissed a woman.
I had one offer of a hookup (not from here) but, she changed her mind kinda last minute.
This isn't a "pity me" thread.
I'm just curious, do many others find that age, even though its largely arbitrary, makes them feel less attractive and more insecure even though physically you're really no different the day after a birthday that you are the day before?
I barely had any sexual contact last year and I didn't get in my head about it but, since turning 40...
Please tell me I'm not alone!"
Oh, I only wish I was 40 again, we all get older thinking that 40 is the beginning of the end so to speak, not at all, if you get that thought out of your head you’ll get past it, you said you didn’t have so much as a kiss in the last month, I haven’t had one in years but I don’t get down about it
I hope you get past this |
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I joined fab when I was 41 and things have only improved for me on every level in terms of my confidence and self esteem.
I think for some fab can be a bit like a carnival mirror as it reflects back a distorted image of our own already superficial projection.
Being on fab all the time and searching for meets constantly doesn't reflect real life either.
Low key constant rejection and fomo can't be good for self esteem.
I can't really advise but what works for me is attending real life events and making friends as well as connecting with partners. |
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No, age doesn't play a part. The things that come with aging do, the grey hairs, health, stress , etc.. the sad reality is though the pool is smaller I find most people are settled, have commitments and as such meeting people is a bit harder. Hope you feel better op just try not to get down and maybe find some stuff that makes you feel good, new hobbies are a great way to meet new people |
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By *ooBulMan 5 weeks ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
You want to try going back to college with 18 yr olds. They think anyone over 25 is an old fart..... I did that a few years back.
I didn't give a shit about that! I put in the work & got out exactly what I wanted - a qualification at L3. Now I have a pair of double D stars. Not many guys can say that!!! LOL.
Oh, and go to your docs to get a health MOT. Have a look at your Vit D levels too.   |
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"I joined fab when I was 41 and things have only improved for me on every level in terms of my confidence and self esteem.
I think for some fab can be a bit like a carnival mirror as it reflects back a distorted image of our own already superficial projection.
Being on fab all the time and searching for meets constantly doesn't reflect real life either.
Low key constant rejection and fomo can't be good for self esteem.
I can't really advise but what works for me is attending real life events and making friends as well as connecting with partners."
If I was constantly searching for meets on here while being badly injured by the rejections I wouldn't still be here, and I don't just mean on Fab!
I'm not looking for sympathy or advice on how to get laid, I'm more curious to find out I'm nothing the only person for whom aging seems to increase insecurity |
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"I turned 40 last month. Since then, I haven't so much as kissed a woman.
I had one offer of a hookup (not from here) but, she changed her mind kinda last minute.
This isn't a "pity me" thread.
I'm just curious, do many others find that age, even though its largely arbitrary, makes them feel less attractive and more insecure even though physically you're really no different the day after a birthday that you are the day before?
I barely had any sexual contact last year and I didn't get in my head about it but, since turning 40...
Please tell me I'm not alone!"
For my 40th birthday/year...I was gifted by the universe and the Powers that be, a pandemic, a month in Barbados, low libido, body and social disconnection and a muscle knot in my left gluteus muscle pressing on my sciatic nerve sending pain shooting up into my neck and down into my ankle and heel.
Pretty much every year since has been similar WTAF moments. Lol!
Hence why I go to nudist/swinger/bdsm/fetish clubs to distract from the shit show.
Anyway In celebration of not being completely decrepit yet see my profile pic for my 43rd birthday outfit in Cap D'adge. I drank too much free champagne, I stood up/danced too long in heels, I cycled back to my room in the semi-nude at 5.30am and it took me two days to fully recover. Lol! Might as well go out with a bang.
  |
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"Age is but a number. I refuse to grow old  "
I wish I could say that to my left knee/hip/glute and menopause.....They are just waiting to do me in before the dementia.
So far despite multiple checks by pharmacy and GP...I'm escaping the high blood pressure aspect of middle age. I'm already prepared for the colonoscopy. |
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"What are you insecure about OP? "
That's the most curious thing... I'm not even sure!
While I'm no model, I know I'm not completely disgusting to look at... it's quite possible that I am most insecure about becoming insecure and I've got myself into a nasty little mind spiral |
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"No, I think I've gotten more confident and secure as I've gotten older. "
Well I'm starting to give less of a fuck...That could just be the perimenopause Karen curmudgeon traits coming in.
I told two of my ( younger ) managers early this year to just give me my paperwork and let me take it to the jobcentre. Lol!
I was suffering from insomnia, hip pain and my emotional rollercoaster of being late diagnosed with autism. Lol!
I think the only reason they didn't fire me is that it's too much paperwork to fire a disabled middle-aged black woman....without landing the company in Employment tribunal.
I'm trying to be more rational now. Especially after my line manager told me to tone down my autism...lol! that was fun...
|
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"Poor kid, wait until you reach the swinging 60's lol"
By 60, I hope to be out of the UK somewhere warm...or dead.... Either way my 3 pensions will stretch further ( enough to pay for my funeral) and I don't have the aggro of heating bills and having to put the lights on at f-ing..noon!! |
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"Think it’s a natural thought train. We all want to feel younger, look younger etc. To be honest though, I wouldn’t thank you to actually ‘be’ younger.
Ageing has its qualities too. It’s not all about looks.
K"
I like my chubby middle-aged soft big boobed body...a bit too much...as I haven't prioritised losing weight for my physical health.
I have a weird kind of body dysmorphia. I was too thin as a teenager and in my early 20s with AA cup boobs. I didn't eat enough and was deficient in all kinds of things. I had a traumatic end to my former marriage and I stopped eating for 3 months....
So nope I don't want to go back to my younger body and I sure as hell do not want to go back to my younger unstable mental health mind!!
I would like a new hip and knee though. That's it. Lol!
|
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"My early 40's were OK meet wise - on fact, they were pretty fkin great
I'm finding that I fit far fewer folks criteria since the age started with a 5 though
It is what it is
Nothing I can do about it
The clock keeps on ticking"
Still fit my criteria.... 
As long as you can keep up with me and don't remind me of my Dad who is still alive..I'll play with you.
Hellfire Club manager/owner Peter is in his 70s and still fuckable for sure. I think he's got way more energy than me! |
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By *8on33Man 5 weeks ago
winfrith |
"I turned 40 last month. Since then, I haven't so much as kissed a woman.
I had one offer of a hookup (not from here) but, she changed her mind kinda last minute.
This isn't a "pity me" thread.
I'm just curious, do many others find that age, even though its largely arbitrary, makes them feel less attractive and more insecure even though physically you're really no different the day after a birthday that you are the day before?
I barely had any sexual contact last year and I didn't get in my head about it but, since turning 40...
Please tell me I'm not alone!"
Everything comes into play body ,age ,confidence. |
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"I've had no physical contact with a guy for about 2 years, I just put it down to me being a miserable bitch though.
Though I guess my old age plays a part in that. "
•
I love it when you're so factually correct, JÅG.☮️ |
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By *aven.Woman 5 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"I've had no physical contact with a guy for about 2 years, I just put it down to me being a miserable bitch though.
Though I guess my old age plays a part in that.
•
I love it when you're so factually correct, JÅG.☮️"
I always am Nero, always. |
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By *WANDTGCouple 5 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
I see you've only mentioned fab, what about dating sites, obviously this is for swingers but if you want a relationship (you did mentioned having children on the over 50 comment) you might find that closeness a relationship brings.
Who knows maybe they are willing to throw caution to the wind and play as well, this happened with us. |
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"I've had no physical contact with a guy for about 2 years, I just put it down to me being a miserable bitch though.
Though I guess my old age plays a part in that.
•
I love it when you're so factually correct, JÅG.☮️
·
I always am Nero, always."
Please don't ever change. Buck the trend, be a non-conformist. 💌 |
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By *HUSH-Man 5 weeks ago
London |
40 is a milestone birthday and I think it’s perfectly normal to feel a little more emotionally charged.
I think all of us are sometimes proud of what we have achieved at a certain age but also surprised that certain things in life just haven’t panned out. I’m now “this age” and this part of life hasn’t happened for me. At all.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t on the odd occasion keep me up at night but then something else would.
Happy belated birthday by the way. 🍻
|
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From 50 to 55 i had teh time of my life 55-60 things slowed down a bit, 60 to current age started a new journey dressing and enjoying new experiences.
Basically age is just a number as long as you have your health, Only you stop yourself exploring life and good times. |
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I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it. |
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"I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it."
I still want to kiss your face you know |
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"I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it.
I still want to kiss your face you know"
Well that makes two of us... |
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"I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it.
I still want to kiss your face you know
Well that makes two of us..."
•
Make that ³ (YOLO's face).🦋 |
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"I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it.
I still want to kiss your face you know
Well that makes two of us...
•
Make that ³ (YOLO's face).🦋"
I don't know how he's gonna kiss his own face Nero but I'm sure it'll be amusing to watch😂 |
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"I kind of get this. Less about meeting people, though I am conscious that aging means you are attractive to fewer people, but just this sense I can't believe I'm this OLD!
I've no idea how it happened (well, I do, but you know what I mean) and know I'm only going to become less attractive, less vital or whatever and it can freaks me out if I let it.
I still want to kiss your face you know
Well that makes two of us...
•
Make that ³ (YOLO's face).🦋
I don't know how he's gonna kiss his own face Nero but I'm sure it'll be amusing to watch😂"
•
That man is a prestidigitator and a contortionist! And he's one of the good guys. ❤️ |
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40 hit me hard. I was convinced it was all over.
Then 41 happened and I stopped giving a shiny shit.
I wouldn’t say it’s harder for me to meet people - but I don’t meet as many. Because I found my worth somewhere along the way…. Along with my sense of adventure….. and a whole load of kinks |
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My 40s have been by far my most sex-positive decade both in terms of the variety and skill of my partners and the quality of orgasms. I can't go as frequently as I used to but have found a longer build-up to climax makes for greater satisfaction.
Come join me up here OP! |
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