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By *uacksplat. OP Woman 6 weeks ago
Star Trekking Across The Universe |
does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?
hilarious answers only.
about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.
the scream i screampt was ungodly.
you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.
but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.
full blown panic attack ensued.
im not kidding.
managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.
so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.
because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.
so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?
or failing that.. no, there are no other options. but maybe kind, helpful words from people who may also have an extreme fear of something, on how to stop the panic so you can sleep ready for your next 13hr shift in the morning.. 😩 Px |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I hate spiders and they love my flat.
I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷♂️
I feel your pain Quack, I really do.
As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔 |
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I seem to have a nest of spiders who have shacked up outside my french windows for weeks, the bastard's refuse to go away even when I take down the cobwebs.
I had to resort to a mixture of vinegar, peppermint to fight them but they're still there. Resilient blighters |
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Oh that's easy you just need to get a ******** then add in the ********** before equipping *********************** and before you know it you're ***** into a ******** and hey presto you're on an mi5 watch list |
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Get it off Putin. He has loads but I too scared to use them. Tell him that you got this advice from Yggdrasil, the Viking tree of life. He will never be welcome in Valhalla, because you have to die with your sword in your hand… |
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If it's on the floor I set the dog on it. Anything above that I have to get Louise to deal with it. If it's out of her reach I have to grab a boot and deal with it myself, usually after a bit of Dutch courage. People laugh at me but i'm fucking terrified.
I blame the film Arachnophobia. I spent years checking under the toilet seat, under my duvet, didn't go near a lamp for fuck knows how long. Fuck spiders |
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Google and others are ordering mini nuclear power stations, to power their energy hungry AI models. Borrow one and set it alight, as obviously it's not just governments that can use this stuff these days. Or something that can burn, could get you through until Prime delivers |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 6 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
If I come across a spider, I always try to pop a large tub over it, slip a card under, and release it either outside or into the garden shed.
The first place my wife and I lived in was a thatched roof place on a half acre of land. The rafters were full of geckos and spiders, and the little guys did a great job of taking out flies and mosquitoes.
But in answer to your question - dust off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
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"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?
hilarious answers only.
about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.
the scream i screampt was ungodly.
you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.
but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.
full blown panic attack ensued.
im not kidding.
managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.
so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.
because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.
so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?
or failing that.. no, there are no other options. but maybe kind, helpful words from people who may also have an extreme fear of something, on how to stop the panic so you can sleep ready for your next 13hr shift in the morning.. 😩 Px "
So you can get a nuke from [REDACTED] But it will cost you quite abit.
Hope this helps op. |
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By *8on33Man 6 weeks ago
winfrith |
"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?
hilarious answers only.
about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.
the scream i screampt was ungodly.
you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.
but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.
full blown panic attack ensued.
im not kidding.
managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.
so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.
because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.
so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?
or failing that.. no, there are no other options. but maybe kind, helpful words from people who may also have an extreme fear of something, on how to stop the panic so you can sleep ready for your next 13hr shift in the morning.. 😩 Px "
Was the tarantula green and was it raining ? |
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"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?
hilarious answers only.
about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.
the scream i screampt was ungodly.
you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.
but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.
full blown panic attack ensued.
im not kidding.
managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.
so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.
because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.
so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?
or failing that.. no, there are no other options. but maybe kind, helpful words from people who may also have an extreme fear of something, on how to stop the panic so you can sleep ready for your next 13hr shift in the morning.. 😩 Px "
I don’t think fear of spiders is irrational.
Those bastards have 8 legs and fangs.
I find a shoe or boot is the best solution |
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If you have a piano, you can play a tarantella and then close the lid to shut them inside. Then play anything you like to smash the evil creatures inside. Note that this only works for acoustic instruments. |
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"I hate spiders and they love my flat.
I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷♂️
I feel your pain Quack, I really do.
As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔"
He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I hate spiders and they love my flat.
I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷♂️
I feel your pain Quack, I really do.
As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔
He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable "
Evri or Yodel? 🤔 |
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"I hate spiders and they love my flat.
I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷♂️
I feel your pain Quack, I really do.
As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔
He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable
Evri or Yodel? 🤔"
Temu made, Korean delivered missiles, so that's why China met with Kim...
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"I feel you. I'm terrified of cows. I won't get in a field with one for love nor money and I know if I woke up with one on top of me I would freak the fuck out."
Ever had one drop down the back of your ottoman? |
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"I hate spiders and they love my flat.
I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷♂️
I feel your pain Quack, I really do.
As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔
He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable
Evri or Yodel? 🤔"
Rocket |
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Hey Prinny..
You have sympathies from us.
Becky is terrified of spiders, the big ones mainly.
I’m chief spider destroyer. If only she knew the amount that get done before she sees them. 
Anyways… Spider Nuke in a tin, order some Spider-X online. It kills them dead and they won’t walk across the area that’s been sprayed.  |
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