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Characteristics of people who don't lie
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
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Um.
I find the blatantly autistic tend to be the most honest to me.
Not all forms or presentations of autism obviously.
But do they waffle on odd tangents? Do they seemingly randomly disagree with something you say and then have the most obscure reasoning behind it? Do they overexplain how they came to a conclusion without at any point trying to minimise the results or absolve themselves of fault?
Probably my kind of people 💜 |
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Leave yourself open to it and then if it happens call it out and ask them why they felt the need to lie.
Their reaction at that point says all you need to know, usually.
Otherwise you can spend eternity wondering about it. Swerve that. |
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I couldn't tell you what the key characteristics are but I tend to be able to spot the less successful liars quite easily. Obviously really good liars are more difficult.
Liars depend on you not calling them out. So anyone who waves away your questions or answers them vaguely if you query something they've said. Actions, behaviour is a language if what they say and what they do don't match they're lying. Irritation or even anger if you point out an inconsistency in what they've said. I have found that people who close their eyes when they speak to you are often lying too. |
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On some level I think we all want to be lied to, even need to be lied to. We are all biological clocks ticking down to bring obsolete. We lie to ourselves and es h other that our lives are full of portents and meaning. Reality is we are just more resource efficient than hamsters. But like the hamster we don’t want to be told our wheel goes nowhere. |
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I'm unaware of any combinations of personality traits, such as the big 5, that are predominantly people who don't lie. Lies are something that we all tell, often even to ourselves, so there's likely an evolutionary benefit from it, for it to be widest and long lasting.
I'm guessing that someone who doesn't tell them may be identified by long association and especially when they are under duress - so you're probably going to have to set up some conditions that will out them |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
People often say to others on here who keep being lied to that it's their fault. They should have picked better.
It's easy to call people out on lies, but that doesn't mean they'll tell the truth.
They'll just spew more lies.
That doesn't help us identify a liar before you commit to anything.
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying. "
It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to.
Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth.
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"Actions speak louder than words. Do they follow through with what they say? Do they let you down a lot. When questioned do they change what they have said and make out they have never said it."
That's after you've invested time and energy in them.
I want to be able to spot a liar and avoid them, so I don't have to call them out and suffer the heartbreak. |
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
"
I’d say they have the characteristics of a psychopath. You have to be able to avoid telling truths to function as a normal human being…
“That’s me ready for tonight honey, how do I look?”
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"People often say to others on here who keep being lied to that it's their fault. They should have picked better.
It's easy to call people out on lies, but that doesn't mean they'll tell the truth.
They'll just spew more lies.
That doesn't help us identify a liar before you commit to anything.
"
Unfortunately, despite appearances, I'm one of those people who likes to think the best of others. Too often I give people the benefit of the doubt when they don't deserve it.
But. The other option of just dismissing everyone for the slightest hint of a red flag just isn't for me.
I'm working hard on calling out the red flags when I see them and not just letting them slide though 💜 |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"People often say to others on here who keep being lied to that it's their fault. They should have picked better.
It's easy to call people out on lies, but that doesn't mean they'll tell the truth.
They'll just spew more lies.
That doesn't help us identify a liar before you commit to anything.
Unfortunately, despite appearances, I'm one of those people who likes to think the best of others. Too often I give people the benefit of the doubt when they don't deserve it.
But. The other option of just dismissing everyone for the slightest hint of a red flag just isn't for me.
I'm working hard on calling out the red flags when I see them and not just letting them slide though 💜"
That's my downfall, I think. I believe someone until I have evidence I can't. |
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An interesting thought experiment in how lies actually work ..Santa Claus.
We know, as adults, Santa doesn’t exist. But we maintain the lie with children until they reach an age where they realise it too. Are they hurt because we lied about Santa? No. They see the lie for what it was. It was their lie to themselves and it was comforting and agreeable. Until it wasn’t useful then it becomes a lie.
All lies work like this. All lies are Santa. We make them truth until it becomes uncomfortable then we see we lied to ourselves because it was nice. Can we blame the liar? Or do we blame ourselves?
*im available to piss in the cornflakes at weddings, mitzvah’s, birthdays etc. |
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"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying.
It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to.
Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth.
"
Maybe.
I admitted to myself very late in life that my mum had a very tenuous relationship with truth (I still can't bring myself to call her a liar  ). I knew on some level years ago but it's hard to acknowledge. I don't think anyone can say that a child wants to be lied to.
I was briefly married to an inveterate liar. He genuinely could not tell the truth about anything. I didn't want to be lied to then either.
My mum lied to represent the life she wished she had to the outside world. So maybe she got what she wanted in that other people thought she was the type of person she wished she was
I still have no idea why my ex lied. |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying.
It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to.
Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth.
Maybe.
I admitted to myself very late in life that my mum had a very tenuous relationship with truth (I still can't bring myself to call her a liar ). I knew on some level years ago but it's hard to acknowledge. I don't think anyone can say that a child wants to be lied to.
I was briefly married to an inveterate liar. He genuinely could not tell the truth about anything. I didn't want to be lied to then either.
My mum lied to represent the life she wished she had to the outside world. So maybe she got what she wanted in that other people thought she was the type of person she wished she was
I still have no idea why my ex lied. "
My ex hated me so much he told the truth about having an affair. Rubbed it in my face.
I can tell when some people are lying by their body language and face.
Some people can lie through their teeth and be convincing.
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"An interesting thought experiment in how lies actually work ..Santa Claus.
We know, as adults, Santa doesn’t exist. But we maintain the lie with children until they reach an age where they realise it too. Are they hurt because we lied about Santa? No. They see the lie for what it was. It was their lie to themselves and it was comforting and agreeable. Until it wasn’t useful then it becomes a lie.
All lies work like this. All lies are Santa. We make them truth until it becomes uncomfortable then we see we lied to ourselves because it was nice. Can we blame the liar? Or do we blame ourselves?
*im available to piss in the cornflakes at weddings, mitzvah’s, birthdays etc. "
I blame the liar. If they didn't lie, there wouldn't be any lies  |
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I don't think there are any default give away signs, honest people can get trapped in a lie and cannot face the loss of what they have, if they told the truth.
I'm sticking to keeping people just outside of my inner circle, out of my heartbeat zone Nanna x |
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"An interesting thought experiment in how lies actually work ..Santa Claus.
We know, as adults, Santa doesn’t exist. But we maintain the lie with children until they reach an age where they realise it too. Are they hurt because we lied about Santa? No. They see the lie for what it was. It was their lie to themselves and it was comforting and agreeable. Until it wasn’t useful then it becomes a lie.
All lies work like this. All lies are Santa. We make them truth until it becomes uncomfortable then we see we lied to ourselves because it was nice. Can we blame the liar? Or do we blame ourselves?
*im available to piss in the cornflakes at weddings, mitzvah’s, birthdays etc.
I blame the liar. If they didn't lie, there wouldn't be any lies "
I didn't realise anyone still believed in cause and effect. |
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"Some people can lie through their teeth and be convincing."
I still struggle to grasp how some people can possibly be bothered to lie as much as they do.
And about such stupid trivial things as well as the huge consent violating things. |
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By *8on33Man 7 weeks ago
winfrith |
"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
"
Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate. |
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I think everyone lies on occasions so it makes it difficult to establish who is a lier and who isn't. I don't particularly look out for those who I think are loose with the truth. The most dangerous ones I've found are the ones who believe their lies so there are no tells. |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate. "
I was talking about in general. Not people from here, particularly. |
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
"
People who truly care about others AND have enough intelligence to understand there is rarely justification for lying, that it almost always does harm to others. People who truly love what can come from being open and honest with others, a caring, loving, happy environment. Those who are truly appaled by others lies, tend not to be dishonest themselves. Those who have been assessed by qualified psychologists and their inability (or tendency not) to mislead others has been noted in the report.... |
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Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing ....
I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ?
Could you give me an example of a lie ? |
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Fuck it. I'm not waiting for your answer. I have to e mail someone. So here goes , I'm leaping in the dark.
If you want to find a partner ( any relationship not just initimate )
You must 1st ... recognise your own values and principles. The ones you live your life by. The ones that guide your own behaviour. ( not sitting down to Eastenders every week - more important principles )
Seek a person with the same or almost the same values and principles - you will exist together more calmly and come to joint decisions that benefit both of you ....
As for avoiding liars.... you need to set out your stall from the start. You need someone who values, honesty, integrity and truth
You need someone who can communicate cal mly.
You need someone who is able to consider others and above all you need someone who likes themselves.
They need to like themselves
and treat all others kindly.
Now sort yourself out nanna and make sure you give the same to others  |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"I think you just have to take things slowly before getting overly invested in someone
That way you'll have a better idea of how consistent they are in their words and actions "
Is 14 years long enough? |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing ....
I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ?
Could you give me an example of a lie ?"
Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are.
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman 7 weeks ago
East London |
"Fuck it. I'm not waiting for your answer. I have to e mail someone. So here goes , I'm leaping in the dark.
If you want to find a partner ( any relationship not just initimate )
You must 1st ... recognise your own values and principles. The ones you live your life by. The ones that guide your own behaviour. ( not sitting down to Eastenders every week - more important principles )
Seek a person with the same or almost the same values and principles - you will exist together more calmly and come to joint decisions that benefit both of you ....
As for avoiding liars.... you need to set out your stall from the start. You need someone who values, honesty, integrity and truth
You need someone who can communicate cal mly.
You need someone who is able to consider others and above all you need someone who likes themselves.
They need to like themselves
and treat all others kindly.
Now sort yourself out nanna and make sure you give the same to others "
You want me to sort someone out? 😂 |
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"People who won’t lie are typically characterised by their integrity, honesty, and strong moral principles, valuing truthfulness over convenience to achieve their goals. "
No, people who don’t lie or can’t lie effectively lack empathy or are autistic. We all tell ‘white lies’ so as to avoid hurting feelings of others unnecessarily… we know if we tell the truth we will hurt feelings so we tell lies to avoid hurting people “it’s lovely to see you” “I love your new hair style” “that’s a funny story”… we tell little white lies nearly every day. Pathological lying is often the result of underlying mental health issues such as narcissistic personality disorder or low self-esteem. |
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By *8on33Man 7 weeks ago
winfrith |
"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate.
I was talking about in general. Not people from here, particularly. "
Well I guess you have to be a good judge of character and even then you could be wrong . |
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger?
How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you?
All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share.
"
Steer clear of men who wear excessive makeup,- especially orange skin toner |
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"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing ....
I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ?
Could you give me an example of a lie ?
Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are.
"
That's not just lying, that's romantic deception as well  sending hugs Nanna x |
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"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing ....
I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ?
Could you give me an example of a lie ?
Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are.
"
That's not lying Nanna that's deception ..... maybe omission but never mind the label that is SHIT ..... kill him. |
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