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Bondage and spanking
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I know. Sorry if came across wrong. I guess it is trying to meet someone to talk to and grow a dynamic with. I know it is about deep trust. And needs to be right. I kno2 it won't be easy to find. But hope it won't be impossible. Thank you |
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With the right person it can be one of the most incredibly intense and pleasurable things you can ever experience, the range of sensations from the most gentle and sensual, to the hard and challenging, life starts at the edge of your comfort Zone, this couldn’t be more true when pushing boundaries in the bedroom/playroom.
Sadly there a very few who truly understand this, or are will to put in years of hard work honing their craft.
It makes me so sad that people try this with the wrong person and are then put off for life, especially as I know how amazing and in some cases absolutely life changing it can be when done right. My verifications are some examples of how incredible it can be with the right person, hence why I’m so picky about finding the right person, life is way too short for anything less than incredible sex.
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My views on this might be controversial, but it's what I find. I've never really had much trouble finding people to spank. I think that there are actually more ladies who want to experience a spanking than men who want to give one.
What there aren't, is lots of ladies who want to jump over the lap of a stranger the first time they meet him. As others have said, time and effort into creating a relationship and safe environment are generally required first.
OK, this moment is geared more towards spanking than restraint, but it's a similar topic.
Munches and other meetings are usually the way to start/icebreaker. But there is absolutely no shortage of people to share and join in your fantasies so that you can fulfil theirs. |
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It takes a lot of effort to find the small percentage of people who are mutually compatible, for general engagement, without trying to add specialist interests, that require massive trust. You have to expect to be prepared to put in the graft |
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By *stwo60Couple 6 weeks ago
Hampshire |
We often have mild sessions, Mrs tied and blindfolded. We have has threesomes with strangers where I have prepared her then left her in a hotel room to then return with someone else. The fact she can’t see heightens the sensation. Would never do anything without me being there, but do enjoy seeing someone else lick her and slip inside her when she doesn’t know who it is and can’t really complain about it. It’s all pre planned and spanking just happens when it happens, which is often! |
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Completely agree trust and communication is what it’s all about. I have experienced it terms of BDSM or bondage.
However when slowly working up to and pushing boundaries with a submissive women earning that trust is all part of the fun and more trust you gain in each other the better it gets. |
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It took me a long time to get my head around it with my last long term partner and learning to read how far she wanted to go and how much care and attention was required afterwards made us lifelong partners whether we are together or not as we truly know each other |
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"I thought it said ‘porridge and spanking’ to which I issued a small but audible unintentional squeak of delight. "
Haha love this! it most definitely should be porridge and spanking! Now I want my oats! |
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Found plenty of people who enjoy this and a lot more but only ever in a public club dungeon for a first meet. Preferably with an independent DM in attendance, for their safety and mine.
Known friends where trust is already established, then my play space can be used. Better looking generally on the 'other' site though. |
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I love bondage, impact play and BDSM in general but as others have said it takes a lot of trust and communication before any of that happens from me.
I will play more vanilla the first couple of meets even with someone into the same things and have constant communication to learn each other and build that mutual trust.
The way I like to play, I couldn't go straight into it without understanding that person and knowing we have that trust.
So yes, it's hard to find but totally worth the time and effort when you do find it. |
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After responding to a thread on discipline a husband brought his wife dressed as a schoolgirl to me to be chastised, reenacting what happened to her when she was at school, 20 slaps some over her skirt and some on her bare bottom were given And the couple left,.
But I will add there was a lot of discussion beforehand of boundaries and limitations , she did text back later saying she had been on detention again would probably need more |
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Hard to find on the swinging scene. Because it takes so much more trust to explore.
We have only ever mixed the two twice with ladies we had met previously and formed the level of trust and confidence needed for kink.
Really have to be prepared to put the time in to do it right. |
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"Bondage and bdsm take a lot of trust, it’s supposed to be hard to find "
Agree. I enjoy Domming but I'll not participate without the trust being there and a long discussion first on boundries.
Ultimetly a sub is always in charge. |
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"I like spanking but not as part of BDSM, and just to make my bum red- bruises and all that no thanks. "
May I ask why you wouldn’t like it as part of BDSM please?
BDSM isn’t all about nailing someone to a cross and beating the living daylights out of them, it can be one of the most gentle, sensual and thrilling things you could ever experience.
In fact it very rarely about pain for me, it’s all about the anticipation, teasing and stimulation of the mind as much as the body. |
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"We enjoy some BDSM but don’t mix it with swinging."
That's actually very common, you'd think the two activities would have a lot in common, but in general I find that the people in each community distrust each other. There are exceptions of course. |
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"I like spanking but not as part of BDSM, and just to make my bum red- bruises and all that no thanks. "
Yes, although most people consider spanking to be part of BDSM, actually the two communities are quite separate. In fact a common 'insult' in the spanking community is 'he hits like a BDSM person'  |
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"I like spanking but not as part of BDSM, and just to make my bum red- bruises and all that no thanks.
Yes, although most people consider spanking to be part of BDSM, actually the two communities are quite separate. In fact a common 'insult' in the spanking community is 'he hits like a BDSM person' "
Never once heard this "Common insult" in my life.
And indeed if I did would rake it as a compliment rather than, as you say an insult.
I find BDSM people are far more openly and honestly communicative than any other community I have ever been involved with. |
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"I like spanking but not as part of BDSM, and just to make my bum red- bruises and all that no thanks.
Yes, although most people consider spanking to be part of BDSM, actually the two communities are quite separate. In fact a common 'insult' in the spanking community is 'he hits like a BDSM person'
Never once heard this "Common insult" in my life.
And indeed if I did would rake it as a compliment rather than, as you say an insult.
I find BDSM people are far more openly and honestly communicative than any other community I have ever been involved with. "
I find it's just as common a hiding place for abusive people and liars as any other community that promotes itself as honest, open and communicative.
I'd assume they don't consider it BDSM because they have no interest in it as a form of discipline or submission or even really as pain. Just a happy level of physical stimulation that doesn't translate to their brain or body as any of the aspects of BDSM.
If someone expressed that they weren't enjoying something I was doing because I was treating it as something they're not, I wouldn't consider it a compliment 💜 |
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"I like spanking but not as part of BDSM, and just to make my bum red- bruises and all that no thanks.
Yes, although most people consider spanking to be part of BDSM, actually the two communities are quite separate. In fact a common 'insult' in the spanking community is 'he hits like a BDSM person' "
What on earth are you talking about? 🤷♂️ |
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