FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Relationships, Fab and general musings...

Relationships, Fab and general musings...

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.

A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *a LunaWoman 6 weeks ago

South Wales

I’ve dated someone from here (albeit briefly). I didn’t meet anyone else because I didn’t want to at that time. I’m a one cock at a time kind of gal.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *h3rry Bomb80Man 6 weeks ago

the moon

If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ora the explorerWoman 6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?"

I’m more excited and shocked that you got your words mixed up in your first sentence! It’s like finding a cobweb in my mother in laws house! 🤣🤣

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat "

What if you were dating someone from Fab?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?

I’m more excited and shocked that you got your words mixed up in your first sentence! It’s like finding a cobweb in my mother in laws house! 🤣🤣"

I'm on Sunday energy right now. It's been a long week and I just want to hide in bed.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"I’ve dated someone from here (albeit briefly). I didn’t meet anyone else because I didn’t want to at that time. I’m a one cock at a time kind of gal.

"

Ah that's fair enough, did you still remain on Fab? If that's not too personal a question!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ora the explorerWoman 6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?

I’m more excited and shocked that you got your words mixed up in your first sentence! It’s like finding a cobweb in my mother in laws house! 🤣🤣

I'm on Sunday energy right now. It's been a long week and I just want to hide in bed. "

❤️

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *a LunaWoman 6 weeks ago

South Wales


"I’ve dated someone from here (albeit briefly). I didn’t meet anyone else because I didn’t want to at that time. I’m a one cock at a time kind of gal.

Ah that's fair enough, did you still remain on Fab? If that's not too personal a question!"

I did, mostly for the forums but I very rarely logged in. He remained on here as well.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *h3rry Bomb80Man 6 weeks ago

the moon


"If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat

What if you were dating someone from Fab? "

that’s a big if …. but if i was i’d still leave providing they’d do the same ..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago

However I meet someone, if I became serious about pursing a relationship with them, they would absolutely become my focus and I probably wouldn't want to keep seeing others. The only difference meeting someone here is having the conversation about whether you and them wanting the lifestyle to continue or whether you give it up completely and commit to each other solely. I'm pretty sure that I want to find someone who can give me everything I need so if they couldn't give up the lifestyle, I doubt it would go any further.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat

What if you were dating someone from Fab?

that’s a big if …. but if i was i’d still leave providing they’d do the same ..

"

And that's fine.

Dating and using fab aren't mutually exclusive though.

There are a lot of people who use the site as a stopgap between relationships though. And many that are open that people on Fab are good enough to meet for sex but not good enough to date or have a relationship with.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat

What if you were dating someone from Fab?

that’s a big if …. but if i was i’d still leave providing they’d do the same ..

"

Would you ever ask them to? Would you be upset if they didn't and still remained active on here?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman 6 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *urry BlokeMan 6 weeks ago

Stalybridge

It's much easier to tell someone at the start that you are non-monogamous by nature and that there may be others involved at different times

You have then given them the choice to flee - or stay around and see if it works for them (and the both of you as a couple)

I think I am now at the stage where I would only emotionally invest in someone who was 'open to being open'

Setting rules, barriers and limits (and sticking to them) is important- whether you are playing together or separately

Also, not abusing the privilege they afford you, is massively important

Meet, but don't over meet

I want a soul mate that is in it with me, not a companion who let's me fuck about

There's a huge difference

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple 6 weeks ago

Cheshire

We sort of both started because of fab so seeing as that's our common ground it's best to work from that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"However I meet someone, if I became serious about pursing a relationship with them, they would absolutely become my focus and I probably wouldn't want to keep seeing others. The only difference meeting someone here is having the conversation about whether you and them wanting the lifestyle to continue or whether you give it up completely and commit to each other solely. I'm pretty sure that I want to find someone who can give me everything I need so if they couldn't give up the lifestyle, I doubt it would go any further."

It's not the only difference... I think it's a very personal thing and varies so much dependent on if people are emotionally monogamous or ethically non.

I do think your take on it will resonate with some on the forums because they are emotionally monogamous and as Obi said above, here is a filler until they meet someone. That's not wrong by the way! As long as it doesn't look down on others (not saying you have).

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS 6 weeks ago

London

Me and my partner are open because we spent time monogamous to build a solid relationship foundation so we both feel comfortable being open

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again "

Damaged goods? Oh HC. I don't think you are undateable. Very few people are. x

Yes, monogamy after being involved in this must be a shift. Do you think you're emotionally monogamous?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eyond PurityCouple 6 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

As you know we know we met on here and we were just enjoying trying new things with each other. Our conversations always involved playing with others, as we were being sexually open with each other and had both just jumped down rabbit holes.

Covid kind of dictated who we could meet anyway but once we talked about fantasies still unfilled and realised a lot involved others, we set up this profile to meet.

I think we were both having sexual desires without judgement and we didn’t want that to end.

We met a gent within two weeks, a blindfold surprise for C and that worked perfectly and so our ‘journey’ began.

So we were pretty much straight into meeting others but had the enjoyment of Covid times and being around each other 24/7 to get to know each other a lot before.

K

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *electableicecreamMan 6 weeks ago

The West

I honestly don't know. I tried before to keep things open with the woman I was falling in love with, we both did, but it didn't work for us and it was hard to shake the insecurity that was sewn between us. We weren't ready and didn't have the communication skills.

Fast forward to now and I have a deeper understanding of myself and more experience in the enm/poly/swinger world and in all honestly not much wiser for it in terms of polyamoury experience.

I am a romantic though and feel that I may be emotionally monogamous in love sexually enm while single. I'm comfortable with that and also open to evolving

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *onderWomanWlvWoman 6 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

With quite a few years of solo poly under my belt, I feel quite capable of giving a new connection time, space, and focus to grow , without compromising on the 'solo' part of how I practice ENM.

I do find though that the longer I've been poly, the less interested I am in extensive hand-holding through someone else's insecurities, especially in a new thing. Be supportive, sure, but be their tutor in all things polyam? Nah, been there done that, and it's exhausting.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *h3rry Bomb80Man 6 weeks ago

the moon


"If I was dating someone … they’re my priority so I’d leave fab in a heart beat

What if you were dating someone from Fab?

that’s a big if …. but if i was i’d still leave providing they’d do the same ..

Would you ever ask them to? Would you be upset if they didn't and still remained active on here?"

I guess there would be a conversation about that … and if they remained active we wouldn’t be dating … I’d respect their wishes ….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *h3rry Bomb80Man 6 weeks ago

the moon


"I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again "

Even damaged goods still have value ….

I know ! 👀

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman 6 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat


"I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again

Damaged goods? Oh HC. I don't think you are undateable. Very few people are. x

Yes, monogamy after being involved in this must be a shift. Do you think you're emotionally monogamous?"

Aw bless you Meli, but I am hard work!

To answer your question, I could be emotionally non-monogamous but I couldn't handle someone not being emotionally monogamous to me (sexually - no problem). And I can see that that double standard could be an issue

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago

I think it's very unlikely I'd meet anyone I'd want to be monogamous with on Fab. When I joined, it was just about having fun, casual sex. But I never gave up hope about having that pie in the sky relationship with one woman I love, kids, and a back garden that needs mowing often and leaving Fab behind!

It's something I've thought about a lot recently and the idea of going into my 30s only having casual sex with no meaning of going any further thoroughly depresses me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago


"I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again "

You'll only be 'damaged goods' through the eyes of people who aren't your person. Anyone who truly wants you will not only accept your baggage, but will want to help you heal it too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oodmessMan 6 weeks ago

yumsville


"A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?"

If you start dating anyone, it's only respectful not to look elsewhere. If sex arrives then it's moved on. I'd likely concentrate on them, than fab.

If it's from fab, as in someone looking for a relationship, there'd have to be a more up front conversation about how the relationship was going to work as in bf/gf, or more open relationship.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iko34Man 6 weeks ago

long eaton

It will have to be a talk with the new dating partner and hopefully you'll come to a mutual understanding.

No point stopping if they don't want too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lder.Woman 6 weeks ago

Not Local

I would like us both to have a dirty, inquisitive mind, but reckon I am pretty much monogamous and would need them to be too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman 6 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat


"I'm torn as part of me wants a relationship but in the main I know that both my lifestyle and being damaged goods makes me undatable. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever dating, we would have to have a stag/vixen dynamic as I cannot envisage being monogamous again

You'll only be 'damaged goods' through the eyes of people who aren't your person. Anyone who truly wants you will not only accept your baggage, but will want to help you heal it too. "

That's beautiful and very true 💗

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ell GwynnWoman 6 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Oh, I don't know, Meli.

I've thought I was poly for a couple of years, so imagined I'd let a new relationship become established and solid before seeing/meeting/dating other people (once I was ready for that sort of thing again). Much like I did with my last LTR.

Over the last week or two I've been wondering if I am actually emotionally monogamous, and it's just that my significant LTR's were simply unfulfilling. So much to figure out...

Obviously, you can see that I'm not ready for a relationship right now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"It's much easier to tell someone at the start that you are non-monogamous by nature and that there may be others involved at different times

You have then given them the choice to flee - or stay around and see if it works for them (and the both of you as a couple)

I think I am now at the stage where I would only emotionally invest in someone who was 'open to being open'

Setting rules, barriers and limits (and sticking to them) is important- whether you are playing together or separately

Also, not abusing the privilege they afford you, is massively important

Meet, but don't over meet

I want a soul mate that is in it with me, not a companion who let's me fuck about

There's a huge difference "

That's a lovely way of describing the difference for you. You know what it is you do and don't want.

I think some are non-monogamous until they find the right person and that's fine. As long as there's clear communication, adult discussions where you both listen to each other, that's the main thing in my eyes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"With quite a few years of solo poly under my belt, I feel quite capable of giving a new connection time, space, and focus to grow , without compromising on the 'solo' part of how I practice ENM.

I do find though that the longer I've been poly, the less interested I am in extensive hand-holding through someone else's insecurities, especially in a new thing. Be supportive, sure, but be their tutor in all things polyam? Nah, been there done that, and it's exhausting."

I'm really happy a poly person posted! Yay. I get what you mean about the tutoring... I don't mind it to a certain degree but I can't afford the headspace/ache to tutor someone who gets upset when I spend time with my fiancé for example. Or poly means they do what they want without discussing it with me but the expectation is I tell them.

I like that more people are exploring it as a possible fit for them, like discussing my experiences and being there for theirs but not when it becomes emotionally draining.

Even how poly looks is so different to each dynamic. Finding what works and doing it ethically is the most important thing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adyBugsWoman 6 weeks ago

cognito

I haven’t had a relationship in 10 years, I’m probably undateable and not able to add much to this conversation.

But I’m following for advice, in case I ever find myself in this sort of situation although I like to think if we met on here, we could have an adult conversation about what we both wanted and what wasn’t negotiable before moving forward in whatever way suits us both at that time.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iker JackMan 6 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I think there is probably a mix of swingers on here and people who just want sex and people who are actively looking for or are open for a relationship

For those that just want the sex side then they may have a reason why currently a relationship is not what they seek.

The main issue is where one person gets the “feels” and wants more but the other does not.

That’s the difficult one to work out

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ake_or_deathMan 6 weeks ago

Manchester

I have a friend who did a version of this - not on Fab, but entered in a relationship they expected to be poly, but they decided to be exclusive for a while so that they could establish their relationship before involving other people.

Personally...I don't know. I've never been in a poly relationship and I don't think it's something you can be sure about until you've tried it. I think it probably makes sense to have a buffer period in which you focus on each other and how a relationship between you will work - but then, if you both feel relaxed about it, maybe there's no need?

This hasn't answered the question at all, has it?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ake_or_deathMan 6 weeks ago

Manchester


"I haven’t had a relationship in 10 years, I’m probably undateable and not able to add much to this conversation.

But I’m following for advice, in case I ever find myself in this sort of situation although I like to think if we met on here, we could have an adult conversation about what we both wanted and what wasn’t negotiable before moving forward in whatever way suits us both at that time."

Same.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *mmaleiaWoman 6 weeks ago

East Northamptonshire

I’ve been single 8 years & loved everything about it.

If I was to meet somebody who I wanted to take things further with on here, I’d put all my effort into making ‘us’ secure until it was time to take things further with others, I can’t do monogamy anymore, but I’d definitely make sure my relationship would be open, clear & we’d both be on the same page.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *moothdickMan 6 weeks ago

stoke

Well I’m having no luck on any front, whether on fab or the outside world… single for over a year, so tbh, I don’t think I could answer the question until I was in that position .. but interesting reading the comments

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ellinever70Woman 6 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'm not good at juggling so if I was dating with a view to it being more, I wouldn't be arranging things with others

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"I have a friend who did a version of this - not on Fab, but entered in a relationship they expected to be poly, but they decided to be exclusive for a while so that they could establish their relationship before involving other people.

Personally...I don't know. I've never been in a poly relationship and I don't think it's something you can be sure about until you've tried it. I think it probably makes sense to have a buffer period in which you focus on each other and how a relationship between you will work - but then, if you both feel relaxed about it, maybe there's no need?

This hasn't answered the question at all, has it?"

No and it's not about poly unless you're poly/that way leaning if that makes sense? It's about what it would look like for you as an individual, what things are important to you, how you'd navigate it. I like the insights in to how others do things and as I'm musing it's enjoyable and informative to read. 🙂

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adyBugsWoman 6 weeks ago

cognito


"I haven’t had a relationship in 10 years, I’m probably undateable and not able to add much to this conversation.

But I’m following for advice, in case I ever find myself in this sort of situation although I like to think if we met on here, we could have an adult conversation about what we both wanted and what wasn’t negotiable before moving forward in whatever way suits us both at that time."

And when I say I might be undateable, it’s because I’m struggling with getting my head around why people can chose to have sex with me and/or be friends but they don’t want to emotionally invest in me romantically. This is not a fab exclusive thing, it’s both the fab and dating worlds. I don’t think I’m a hideous ogre of a person either in looks or personality or values wise so it’s very confusing at times.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"I think it's very unlikely I'd meet anyone I'd want to be monogamous with on Fab. When I joined, it was just about having fun, casual sex. But I never gave up hope about having that pie in the sky relationship with one woman I love, kids, and a back garden that needs mowing often and leaving Fab behind!

It's something I've thought about a lot recently and the idea of going into my 30s only having casual sex with no meaning of going any further thoroughly depresses me."

So... why couldn't you find that on Fab? If you're both on the same page of course.

Oh Joe, I really hope that you do find what you hope to. You don't only have to have casual sex and your thirties can be a great time to date. Explore. x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ellinever70Woman 6 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"I haven’t had a relationship in 10 years, I’m probably undateable and not able to add much to this conversation.

But I’m following for advice, in case I ever find myself in this sort of situation although I like to think if we met on here, we could have an adult conversation about what we both wanted and what wasn’t negotiable before moving forward in whatever way suits us both at that time.

And when I say I might be undateable, it’s because I’m struggling with getting my head around why people can chose to have sex with me and/or be friends but they don’t want to emotionally invest in me romantically. This is not a fab exclusive thing, it’s both the fab and dating worlds. I don’t think I’m a hideous ogre of a person either in looks or personality or values wise so it’s very confusing at times. "

Can you accept that it's a them problem rather than a you problem and set firmer boundaries

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman 6 weeks ago

Essex


"A conversation last night got me thinking about relationships, specifically those that from start Fab.

If you met someone, in a romantic sense, and wanted to date them... would you stop meeting others whilst you "bed" it in? Would you leave Fab and focus on them?

If you're poly/like New Relationship energy... do you find that you focus a bit more on new dynamics until they're established?

What would you do in terms of Fab and dating someone from here?"

I’m a start as you mean to go on type. I wouldn’t focus less on my children, husband or dog because I had someone new. My other relationships are the same. I give what I give. Unwaveringly.

It’s almost the opposite of that joke advert “brand new customers only”.

It’s also probably the reason I keep burning out.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"Oh, I don't know, Meli.

I've thought I was poly for a couple of years, so imagined I'd let a new relationship become established and solid before seeing/meeting/dating other people (once I was ready for that sort of thing again). Much like I did with my last LTR.

Over the last week or two I've been wondering if I am actually emotionally monogamous, and it's just that my significant LTR's were simply unfulfilling. So much to figure out...

Obviously, you can see that I'm not ready for a relationship right now "

Nell. You're a muse! Happy times.

You've got a lot to figure out but you'll get there in time. It might have been that previous relationships were unfulfilling and with the right person you don't want others.

As long as you're not hurting others and are open about where you are I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying exploring and discovering yourself. 🧡

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"As you know we know we met on here and we were just enjoying trying new things with each other. Our conversations always involved playing with others, as we were being sexually open with each other and had both just jumped down rabbit holes.

Covid kind of dictated who we could meet anyway but once we talked about fantasies still unfilled and realised a lot involved others, we set up this profile to meet.

I think we were both having sexual desires without judgement and we didn’t want that to end.

We met a gent within two weeks, a blindfold surprise for C and that worked perfectly and so our ‘journey’ began.

So we were pretty much straight into meeting others but had the enjoyment of Covid times and being around each other 24/7 to get to know each other a lot before.

K

"

Within two weeks of dating? Humour me K, I'm a tad slow today as shown by the poorly written OP.

You established your relationship your way. It might not work for others but it's clearly more than worked for you and it makes me smile to read your happy. Sexual desires without judgement sounds like a wonderful place to be in, x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aven.Woman 6 weeks ago

Not the North West...

For arguments sake I'll say I actually want a relationship of sorts from fab.

If that was the thing I actually wanted, my end goal so to speak, I would just give that my attention. Why would I piss about on here if already found what I wanted?

Just for clarification, I do not want a relationship of any sorts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *2thomMan 6 weeks ago

Norwich


"For arguments sake I'll say I actually want a relationship of sorts from fab.

If that was the thing I actually wanted, my end goal so to speak, I would just give that my attention. Why would I piss about on here if already found what I wanted?

Just for clarification, I do not want a relationship of any sorts.

"

I agree could well be too much of a distraction for what truly you would want to be happy.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eli OP   Woman 6 weeks ago

.


"For arguments sake I'll say I actually want a relationship of sorts from fab.

If that was the thing I actually wanted, my end goal so to speak, I would just give that my attention. Why would I piss about on here if already found what I wanted?

Just for clarification, I do not want a relationship of any sorts.

"

I don't know why you would Raven. You clearly wouldn't. It's very individual and there's no right or wrong answer. Lots of people have different relationship dynamics.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ake_or_deathMan 6 weeks ago

Manchester


"I have a friend who did a version of this - not on Fab, but entered in a relationship they expected to be poly, but they decided to be exclusive for a while so that they could establish their relationship before involving other people.

Personally...I don't know. I've never been in a poly relationship and I don't think it's something you can be sure about until you've tried it. I think it probably makes sense to have a buffer period in which you focus on each other and how a relationship between you will work - but then, if you both feel relaxed about it, maybe there's no need?

This hasn't answered the question at all, has it?

No and it's not about poly unless you're poly/that way leaning if that makes sense? It's about what it would look like for you as an individual, what things are important to you, how you'd navigate it. I like the insights in to how others do things and as I'm musing it's enjoyable and informative to read. 🙂"

Ok. Well, my attitude is that I would stay on Fab/apps until it was decided that initial, casual dating had crossed the line into more serious dating. Then, I would stop using this site unless we decided we would be open in some way - otherwise it would feel disloyal. If however the person I was going to date wanted an open relationship (and I felt comfortable with that) then I probably wouldn't feel the need to leave as I'm using Fab more for the forums and chatting to some people rather than for actually meeting at the moment.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eyond PurityCouple 6 weeks ago

Lincolnshire


"As you know we know we met on here and we were just enjoying trying new things with each other. Our conversations always involved playing with others, as we were being sexually open with each other and had both just jumped down rabbit holes.

Covid kind of dictated who we could meet anyway but once we talked about fantasies still unfilled and realised a lot involved others, we set up this profile to meet.

I think we were both having sexual desires without judgement and we didn’t want that to end.

We met a gent within two weeks, a blindfold surprise for C and that worked perfectly and so our ‘journey’ began.

So we were pretty much straight into meeting others but had the enjoyment of Covid times and being around each other 24/7 to get to know each other a lot before.

K

Within two weeks of dating? Humour me K, I'm a tad slow today as shown by the poorly written OP.

You established your relationship your way. It might not work for others but it's clearly more than worked for you and it makes me smile to read your happy. Sexual desires without judgement sounds like a wonderful place to be in, x"

2 weeks of setting up our couples profile

We had been seeing each other for about 4/5 months by then, during Covid too so with spending 24/7 together, with no other distractions, it worked out to be the equivalent of 3/4 years

K

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago


"I think it's very unlikely I'd meet anyone I'd want to be monogamous with on Fab. When I joined, it was just about having fun, casual sex. But I never gave up hope about having that pie in the sky relationship with one woman I love, kids, and a back garden that needs mowing often and leaving Fab behind!

It's something I've thought about a lot recently and the idea of going into my 30s only having casual sex with no meaning of going any further thoroughly depresses me.

So... why couldn't you find that on Fab? If you're both on the same page of course.

Oh Joe, I really hope that you do find what you hope to. You don't only have to have casual sex and your thirties can be a great time to date. Explore. x"

Because even trying to find women to have sex with has been difficult. Trying to find a relationship is like playing Fab on hard mode. It's not impossible, but would be extremely unlikely...

Thank you! I think I'm still stuck in the mindset of completing life by 30 or else I'll have failed somewhat 😅

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hrista BellendWoman 6 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Finding a emotionally available poly guy, who I am compatible with is hard, that's anywhere, not just on fab. I guess if one of my current relationships ended, I would have available time to build a new relationship. But trusting that they actually can share me emotionally and are pleased knowing, I tell both of them I love them, is the hardest thing of all. Surprisingly the part that lots baulk at, is that I am happy to completely, emotionally share my partners.

Luckily I'm not affected by NRE, everyone is treated the same, regardless of how we fit in each others lives

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *herry delightWoman 6 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Simple I would say right for the get go I will not be faithful, I will be playing with others and if you have a problem with that then that's your problem not mine, goodbye.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *tevieboyyyMan 6 weeks ago

Waterlooville

Happily married.

Am grateful to have a few platonic girlfriends that I have holidays and mate-days out with. They range from my my age to a few decades younger.

Perhaps Fab is not for me, not going to get precious about it.

Tinder had better results, but has become very expensive so will pass on that

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oubleswing2019Man 6 weeks ago

Colchester

If I met someone on FAB, I'd make it very clear that I do not expect them to cease any other contact or arrangements with FWB's or other ersthwhile partners.

I desire no autonomy or exclusivity over their body, what they do with it, or who they do it with. I value their independence and self-autonomy highly.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *yrdsisWoman 6 weeks ago

Gleam Street


"If I met someone on FAB, I'd make it very clear that I do not expect them to cease any other contact or arrangements with FWB's or other ersthwhile partners.

I desire no autonomy or exclusivity over their body, what they do with it, or who they do it with. I value their independence and self-autonomy highly."

Snap.

Husband and I met on here... From the outset we had similar outlooks on life and relationships...had we not, we'd still be single. Neither of us needed to remove ourselves as we agreed from our 1st social that we were much of a mind...it just happens to have worked for us relationship wise

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0937

0