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The Fab pub
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It may not be the most glamorous place in the world but everyone is invited…It’s a minimum of £5.75 a pint I’m afraid so anyone who cannot afford it can be found (and can join) the others outside the local Coop drinking the shops own brand cider, they will try to come in later so might need a couple of bouncers, apply within…otherwise what would you like? We also server wine for £15 a bottle (cheap cats piss equivalent) or other drinks on request |
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"I don't drink alcohol so coffee is fine "
That’s fine coffee is also served but you have to sit in the corner with the other coffee drinkers and be mindful that you will have to queue for the toilet |
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That's fine, we'll stroll through the door no problems with our usually air of sophistication and a big oversized hip flask each concealed underneath.
To be fair we won't be in long. Not our cup of tea but we do like to buck the system. Maybe sneak out few of the complementary bar snack for the coop kids before we go join them. |
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"That's fine, we'll stroll through the door no problems with our usually air of sophistication and a big oversized hip flask each concealed underneath.
To be fair we won't be in long. Not our cup of tea but we do like to buck the system. Maybe sneak out few of the complementary bar snack for the coop kids before we go join them."
Refere to nuts on the bar post  |
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"Yige not mentioned the whisky selection?
As mentioned all other drinks are available upon request…we bought a case load of glenfiddich the other day, are you interested?"
Yeah I'll come.down for a few scoops |
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"A pint of real ale please. Better make is a straight glass.
Steve you know you are barred after your behavior last time you visited  "
I wasn’t aware of any other meaning to the phrase ‘do you fancy a sausage sandwich’  |
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"Top up on malbec please 😘
We have a special offer tonight, by 1 bottle and get a free shot
Sambuca then for my freebie 😜"
Oh we light these up if you by 3 for a tenner but yours is free so it will not be lit |
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"A pint of real ale please. Better make is a straight glass.
Steve you know you are barred after your behavior last time you visited
I wasn’t aware of any other meaning to the phrase ‘do you fancy a sausage sandwich’ "
But Andy the previous barmaid did and now we are understaffed! |
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"A pint of real ale please. Better make is a straight glass.
Steve you know you are barred after your behavior last time you visited
I wasn’t aware of any other meaning to the phrase ‘do you fancy a sausage sandwich’
But Andy the previous barmaid did and now we are understaffed!"
*embarrased*  |
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"A pint of real ale please. Better make is a straight glass.
Steve you know you are barred after your behavior last time you visited
I wasn’t aware of any other meaning to the phrase ‘do you fancy a sausage sandwich’
But Andy the previous barmaid did and now we are understaffed!
*embarrased* "
Ok your ban is now reduced to only 30 days |
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By *aizyWoman 8 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Which way is it to the Co-op?
Down the street, take a left at the maccys, should be across the road from there
Correct there are a few spaces on the bench outside I believe "
A maccys, a bottle in a bag and a bench to sit on?? My kind of night! |
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"Louis VIII 😎
Get out
You asked
Besides, your pub could be one of these new fangled ones that serves everything 😎
We do not cater for your type around here I am afraid "
(Goes to the corner and drinks battery acid)😎 |
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"Do you have lube on tap?
Oh, and a double Hennessy XO and one for the pretty woman down the other end of the bar, please.
Have one yourself!
Cheers!"
That is puzzles upstairs but it doesn’t open until 11, me and Andy say thanks for the drink |
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"Which way is it to the Co-op?
Down the street, take a left at the maccys, should be across the road from there
Correct there are a few spaces on the bench outside I believe
A maccys, a bottle in a bag and a bench to sit on?? My kind of night!"
.I'm at the maccys I'm buying what's your poison?
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"Got anything soft?
Mostly the guys in here but sushhh don’t fly elk anyone, most of them think they are hard
I look hard does that count?
Do you want to be a bouncer? 
Actually yes it is quite hard to keep up with so many orders!
You want an empty pub? "
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"Got anything soft?
Mostly the guys in here but sushhh don’t fly elk anyone, most of them think they are hard
I look hard does that count?
Do you want to be a bouncer?
You want an empty pub? "
Actually yes it is quite hard to keep up with so many orders! See I even messed that up! |
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"Do you have lube on tap?
Oh, and a double Hennessy XO and one for the pretty woman down the other end of the bar, please.
Have one yourself!
Cheers!
That is puzzles upstairs but it doesn’t open until 11, me and Andy say thanks for the drink"
OK, I'll wait for my Viagra to kick in. Better have a meat and potato pie and a packet of ready salted crisps then, please. |
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"Do you have lube on tap?
Oh, and a double Hennessy XO and one for the pretty woman down the other end of the bar, please.
Have one yourself!
Cheers!
That is puzzles upstairs but it doesn’t open until 11, me and Andy say thanks for the drink
OK, I'll wait for my Viagra to kick in. Better have a meat and potato pie and a packet of ready salted crisps then, please."
The kitchen close at 8pm no exception! Ready salted are coming your way |
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"If you get too busy OP, ex publican here, i'll help behind the bar if required but payment in cash or Guinness only"
Basically inundated! Ok you are employeed! You can drink from the two whenever not serving |
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"Guinness please bar steward
So this is why you didn’t come to the car very earlier! Ok but we can’t draw the silly clover thing on the top, sorry to disappoint "
It’s a clover? I wondered why people draw a small penis on Guinness. |
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"That's fine, we'll stroll through the door no problems with our usually air of sophistication and a big oversized hip flask each concealed underneath.
To be fair we won't be in long. Not our cup of tea but we do like to buck the system. Maybe sneak out few of the complementary bar snack for the coop kids before we go join them.
Refere to nuts on the bar post "
We were kind of hoping for a less passé selection complimentary snacks at a place of such pretension. |
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"Do you have lube on tap?
Oh, and a double Hennessy XO and one for the pretty woman down the other end of the bar, please.
Have one yourself!
Cheers!
That is puzzles upstairs but it doesn’t open until 11, me and Andy say thanks for the drink
OK, I'll wait for my Viagra to kick in. Better have a meat and potato pie and a packet of ready salted crisps then, please.
The kitchen close at 8pm no exception! Ready salted are coming your way"
The pretty woman at the end of the bar won't talk to me. How like Fab! I may look to frequent another establishment. |
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"Do you have lube on tap?
Oh, and a double Hennessy XO and one for the pretty woman down the other end of the bar, please.
Have one yourself!
Cheers!
That is puzzles upstairs but it doesn’t open until 11, me and Andy say thanks for the drink
OK, I'll wait for my Viagra to kick in. Better have a meat and potato pie and a packet of ready salted crisps then, please.
The kitchen close at 8pm no exception! Ready salted are coming your way
The pretty woman at the end of the bar won't talk to me. How like Fab! I may look to frequent another establishment."
Puzzles opens at 11pm |
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"Guinness please bar steward
So this is why you didn’t come to the car very earlier! Ok but we can’t draw the silly clover thing on the top, sorry to disappoint "
Perfect, no shamrocks required.
I dont like people playing with my drink |
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"Guinness please bar steward
So this is why you didn’t come to the car very earlier! Ok but we can’t draw the silly clover thing on the top, sorry to disappoint
Perfect, no shamrocks required.
I dont like people playing with my drink"
Enjoy! Be careful of those alleged drink spikers! Hopefully they don’t frequent this place |
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"Has the pub got a fruit machine, I could stand beside it and dish out unwanted information about when it's likely to pay out again to who ever is playing it"
Yes but it just paid out this afternoon, I advise counting the coins going in before issuing said advice |
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"Guinness please barman, but make sure it’s at room temperature please "
we do not have extra cold, this is just a lie anyway we just have a chilled tap on top to confuse people! It is always served at room temperature |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"Guinness please barman, but make sure it’s at room temperature please
we do not have extra cold, this is just a lie anyway we just have a chilled tap on top to confuse people! It is always served at room temperature "
Excellent. I’ll have a shot of Tia Maria in it too please |
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"Guinness please barman, but make sure it’s at room temperature please
we do not have extra cold, this is just a lie anyway we just have a chilled tap on top to confuse people! It is always served at room temperature
Excellent. I’ll have a shot of Tia Maria in it too please "
We are not allowed to do this, you must order individual drinks or local police will shut us down after that ‘incident’ the other week when we did a snakebite special offer |
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"I'll be brave and try the Guinness and while I wait I'll have a Teelings single grain barkeep please."
Guinness minus ‘micro penis’ now available, sorry single is out of stock, can you accept double distilled? |
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"I'll be brave and try the Guinness and while I wait I'll have a Teelings single grain barkeep please.
Guinness minus ‘micro penis’ now available, sorry single is out of stock, can you accept double distilled?"
god no... I'll take either of the Sommelier editions blue being my favourite.cheers. |
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"I'll be brave and try the Guinness and while I wait I'll have a Teelings single grain barkeep please.
Guinness minus ‘micro penis’ now available, sorry single is out of stock, can you accept double distilled? god no... I'll take either of the Sommelier editions blue being my favourite.cheers."
We have a few showcase level 5 but these are exclusive
|
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"I'll be brave and try the Guinness and while I wait I'll have a Teelings single grain barkeep please.
Guinness minus ‘micro penis’ now available, sorry single is out of stock, can you accept double distilled? god no... I'll take either of the Sommelier editions blue being my favourite.cheers.
We have a few showcase level 5 but these are exclusive
"
Midleton very rare 2022 it is so.  |
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