FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Did anyone else miss out on their youth?
Did anyone else miss out on their youth?
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Being painfully shy growing up, I missed out on a lot of things growing up like attending wild parties and getting up to all sorts of mischeif. The things i'd hear other talk about but never actually see and I'm not sure if it's right of me to have any sort of resentment towards my peers for never inviting me anywhere or if I should be blaming myself.
Managed to tick a box or two later in life at 27 when I did hire a professional to take my virginity (which i've probably mentioned on other threads) but yea my bingo cards is still looking empty.
Is there still opportunity for these things for someone my age? And did you also miss out on anything from your youth? |
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I missed out on loads too op. For me it was the restrictions of bloody religion. I missed out on many ladies who were interested in me, when I was young and handsome.
I missed out on a lot, parties and relationships. But I am on a mission to make up for it...  |
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I was a carer from the age of 12 so didn't get to experience life as a normal teenager and didn't kiss a girl until I was almost 20 and only lost my virginity at 25.
I had no interest in parties or drinking and still haven't tasted alcohol or smoked but there were lots of other experiences that I missed out on.
Some of that though was a result of growing up in a war zone meaning that I have life experiences that most others couldn't even imagine. |
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By *ib.Man 9 weeks ago
Hampshire |
No, I had loads of fun, but didn't really develop as a person from it.
Early twenties I saved up and went backing for a few years... same amount of partying but was a bit more meaningful as an experience.
You're early 30's - that's still young. We all miss out on things in life from the choices we make - it's all a trade off.
I'd urge you to consider going backpacking while you are still fairly young (if you haven't already). Plenty of opportunities to party, enjoy the freedom of youth and meet people. |
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Not as much now. But I do feel like I'm still missing out because I've recently started to engage with people again and I'm starting to think it's my lack of experiences that is also stopping me from makingclose friends. It jsut feels to me that people are just getting what they want without asking for it and I feel locked out of it all. |
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By *ib.Man 9 weeks ago
Hampshire |
"Not as much now. But I do feel like I'm still missing out because I've recently started to engage with people again and I'm starting to think it's my lack of experiences that is also stopping me from makingclose friends. It jsut feels to me that people are just getting what they want without asking for it and I feel locked out of it all."
What do you think would be the ideal situation for you to be able to get what you want?
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"Not as much now. But I do feel like I'm still missing out because I've recently started to engage with people again and I'm starting to think it's my lack of experiences that is also stopping me from makingclose friends. It jsut feels to me that people are just getting what they want without asking for it and I feel locked out of it all."
Are they locking you out, or are you locking yourself out?
Other people aren't here to give us what we want, they're too busy with their own stuff. Instead of focussing on what you want to happen, maybe focus on what you need to do to get there. |
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I was a Mum at 16, so yeah, missed out on a bunch of regular teenager stuff. I've been running my own household from age 18 and either studying or working the whole time, so I haven't ever had much leisure time to be honest. |
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By *aked2sumCouple 9 weeks ago
playa del ingles |
Yea we had our first at 18 and lived together on not much money so we missed out on quite a lot of fun . On a plus side we were still young when the kids had grown up so tried to make up for it  |
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"Yea we had our first at 18 and lived together on not much money so we missed out on quite a lot of fun . On a plus side we were still young when the kids had grown up so tried to make up for it "
Ha. My eldest got to age 14, then I had a second. I'm gonna be doing parenting for soooooo long  |
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OP there is always an opportunity to live life.
I feel life is as good for me now as it has ever been - and I feel my life previously was good. I have never wanted to do things everyone else says you should be doing (who the hell wants to pay a fortune to stand in a field and listen to shit music at a festival????) and have always done my own thing. Dance to your own tune and forget everyone else. |
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Sorry guys, I'm not thinknig with a very rational head right now. I've been ill and away from people for 4 days now and it's pushed me back to my old way of thinking. But I thank all of you that responded. I know I'm not alone now and that I still have opportunities at 33. |
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Taking your own steps is meaningful, whenever you take them and wherever you go. Enjoy the journey, as it's all that we have. Don't accept the pressure from others, nor create your own. Develop appreciation for yourself and what you have |
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No. Been with each other for 18 years. Only recently decided to open up and try new things together. Age is not limit. We never missed out. We did everything possibe as a 2. That we are into. Now to explore together with others xx |
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Yes I did. I wouldn't say sex, as an open style relationship wasn't really an interest until my mid 20s. But I missed out on so much like even the most basic things such as friends, nights out, education, new experiences and work. I have been dealt a difficult life and my upbringing came with a lot of trauma and mental health that consumed my life for a long time.
I honestly feel like my life has only well and truly began in the last couple of years. I'm 31 now, and I think I have overcome the worst of what life has thrown at me. I'm enjoying my life now more than ever.
You've got plenty of time. You kind of have to put in the work though, and it can be overwhelming and take time but it's so worth it. |
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By *equila89Man 9 weeks ago
Tortured Poets Department |
I don’t really remember, owing to a certain green plant matter being an integral part of my 20’s. I’m pretty sure there was some good times though. Fast forward today, and I’m living on the edge when I have an extra espresso on Friday afternoon.
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Very shy due to childhood trauma.
Working for a corporate didn't help.
Found 'me' about 3 years ago.
Got hit on at school as a kid, and now that getting hit on has continued in later life - just not interested for local circles as too close to home. |
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My dad had cerebral palsy, and was paralysed down his left side. My mum got fed up of being Florence Nightingale, and would sometimes just up and leave for a few days. Me and my sister were 3 and 5 the first time she left. By the time we were 10 and 12, she'd leave for a couple of weeks at a time. So yeah, missed out on most kid things, and all teenage things, because we never knew when we'd have to step up and look after dad. Sister left as soon as she could, move 400 miles away. I dropped out of school at 14 to get a part time job and be dads carer, because mother still did her disappearing act. Made sure I never lived more than an hours bus ride away from them, just in case, even in my late 20s. I finally moved away at 28, and he died three weeks later. Mum didn't tell us for two weeks. I still don't know how he died or if she had anything to do with it. |
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By *ch16Man 9 weeks ago
West hull |
Yep...moved to new area after leaving school to another city, found it hard making friends out of work so spent ages 16-21 basically living in my bedroom...got to the point just started asking workmates to go out at weekends for drinks and clubbing |
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As I've got older I've realised my youth was pretty wild.
I was just chasing that hedonistic high constantly.
I don't regret anything, but I missed out on looking after my future self. Running with a belief you are not going to make it past 27 tends to perturb those kinds of endeavours. |
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Child abuse was the main feature of my childhood and youth. But I don't actually mourn it, I can't change it and I've a pretty good life now. Yes I've crossed some things off the list that my teenage self would have loved to have done. But the adult me loves it too. |
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By *hilloutMan 9 weeks ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I've no regrets, but sometimes wish I had spent more of my early adulthood travelling and being more care free, as opposed to planning ahead re having a home, marriage, kids, etc. |
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You’re still pretty young- wait till you’re in your 50s! 😂😂😂
Yeah, I had no youth whatsoever. I had to step up at 20 to provide for my family and study full time, so it was hard as hell. Clubbing was the last thing on my mind. Plus, i was always very nerdy anyway so the couple of times I went to a Club no one asked me to dance haha.
My son is now living his best life and I celebrate that. He has his responsibilities- goes to uni and a part time job, but he goes out with friends and I love that for him. ❤️ |
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I wish I’d studied a little harder age 13-18, although everything turned ok longer term, there’s definitely a cost to fucking up school with parties, drink, dr*gs. Probably could have retired at 40 if I was more sensible |
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By *8on33Man 9 weeks ago
winfrith |
"Not as much now. But I do feel like I'm still missing out because I've recently started to engage with people again and I'm starting to think it's my lack of experiences that is also stopping me from makingclose friends. It jsut feels to me that people are just getting what they want without asking for it and I feel locked out of it all."
Some people go through life without friends and it means nothing but it may mean you'll be lonely in later life ,I personally smile and chat to people at every opportunity, you don't have to be friends with them.
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"Had to get paid employment at 16 to help the family out. The 80s in Yorkshire were tough 
I think a lot of people started working at 16 in the 80s. Our son started work at 16 in 2007. "
Yeah, there was no option  |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I started working through an apprenticeship at 18 and was very career driven to get into a comfortable position throughout my early 20s so I do sort of feel like I missed out on the "uni experience" going out more without taking life so seriously. I go out these days and it's still great, but it's tough when everyone looks about 12  |
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"I started working through an apprenticeship at 18 and was very career driven to get into a comfortable position throughout my early 20s so I do sort of feel like I missed out on the "uni experience" going out more without taking life so seriously. I go out these days and it's still great, but it's tough when everyone looks about 12 "
Stop going to school discos then |
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I did
I met my now ex husband when I was 15 , had a mortgage at 18
He was a controlling , abusive man who told me what I could and couldn’t wear and I never ever went out with friends. 3 children later I finally plucked the courage to end it at aged 39 and started to pull my self confidence of the floor and live
I did miss out on my youth but have tried to make up for it since
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Teens were a bit Meh! late teens were mainly just gigging- 20's was mainly getting wankered with mates and raves, didn't really discover my kink side properly until early 30's...that took off quite quickly though |
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By *cflirtyMan 9 weeks ago
hants/ w sussex border |
"I did
I met my now ex husband when I was 15 , had a mortgage at 18
He was a controlling , abusive man who told me what I could and couldn’t wear and I never ever went out with friends. 3 children later I finally plucked the courage to end it at aged 39 and started to pull my self confidence of the floor and live
I did miss out on my youth but have tried to make up for it since
"
Well done you xx |
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By *8on33Man 8 weeks ago
winfrith |
"I did
I met my now ex husband when I was 15 , had a mortgage at 18
He was a controlling , abusive man who told me what I could and couldn’t wear and I never ever went out with friends. 3 children later I finally plucked the courage to end it at aged 39 and started to pull my self confidence of the floor and live
I did miss out on my youth but have tried to make up for it since
"
So you've had 11 years of freedom? |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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Yes I was too dedicated to my job while other lads my age where out drinking and shagging I was putting my job first, now I’m gutted feel like I’ve missed out on so much. |
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Yes I missed a lot, I had siblings to look after in an extremely violent household.
I made up my lack of education as an adult and got my degree, the rest of the childhood you can't really get that back.
I was lucky though we had my nan & aunt that were a huge reality escape & stayed there often.
Mrs |
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"I did
I met my now ex husband when I was 15 , had a mortgage at 18
He was a controlling , abusive man who told me what I could and couldn’t wear and I never ever went out with friends. 3 children later I finally plucked the courage to end it at aged 39 and started to pull my self confidence of the floor and live
I did miss out on my youth but have tried to make up for it since
So you've had 11 years of freedom?"
I ended it in 2012 , that’s when my life got better |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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I'd say I missed out on a lot being locked down in a toxic relationship for most of my life. We can either look back and regret or make the most of the life we have now, you're never too old to start again. |
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"I'd say I missed out on a lot being locked down in a toxic relationship for most of my life. We can either look back and regret or make the most of the life we have now, you're never too old to start again."
Absolutely, at least you had the courage to leave, some people just stay at put up with a life of torment  |
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I missed out on my youth because I became pregnant at 18 and was in an abusive relationship for years. I wasn't allowed to go out or do anything. I got out at 26 and have tried to make up for things I missed out on but I find it's a lot harder being older and a mother. The only thing I actually really want that U missed out on is friends. A social circle. I'm sick to death of being lonely but find lack of experiences makes it difficult to connect with others to form and keep friendships/relationships that go beyond surface level. Maybe I'll have better luck in my 30/40s |
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"Being painfully shy growing up, I missed out on a lot of things growing up like attending wild parties and getting up to all sorts of mischeif. The things i'd hear other talk about but never actually see and I'm not sure if it's right of me to have any sort of resentment towards my peers for never inviting me anywhere or if I should be blaming myself.
Managed to tick a box or two later in life at 27 when I did hire a professional to take my virginity (which i've probably mentioned on other threads) but yea my bingo cards is still looking empty.
Is there still opportunity for these things for someone my age? And did you also miss out on anything from your youth?"
Yes, I think inevitably we can’t have it all and can’t be all and experience all at the same time. I had my reasons for not experiencing the things that other kids my age did and then settled down young. Which closed off other options for me.
I don’t regret my decisions but I am aware of how they shaped me. I think you need to let go of resentment of looking back and focus your energy on what is most important to you going forward. Focus your energy towards getting the life you want now rather than resenting the life you used to have. |
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Late teens into twenties. Most definitely. Divorced parents meant I had a joint mortgage with my mum from the age of 22 to keep a roof over my two sisters heads.
Wasn't easy holding down two jobs and finishing university.
It was an ex that gave me the push to change the arrangement snd I thank her for that.
Close to 28/29 before I was free and had the mortgage in my own right, buying out the house share.
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To a degree. More than made up for it in my 30s though and here’s to the 40s!
Love the lyrics to LCD Soundsystem’s Tonite…
“So you will be badgered and taunted until death
You're missing a party that you'll never get over
You hate the idea that you're wasting your youth
That you stood in the background oh until you got older
But that's all lies
That's all lies” |
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