FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does anyone actually have sex on these sites?
Does anyone actually have sex on these sites?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago
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I’m asking because as a genuine guy, who is respectful, educated, looks after himself and is not atrocious to look at, I have not met anyone in the months I’ve been trying. And this is not just on this site, but two others as well. I am on sites that cost a lot more than this one, but was pointed in this direction as the other site’s seem to cater for more ‘long term’ relationships. However, aside from having my time completely wasted by ‘all greet and no meet’ people, nothing. Zero. Zilch. I really may as well pay for ‘professional services’ on a monthly basis. It would likely cost me less once I’ve not had to cover drinks and hotels. What on earth am I doing wrong, or is it simply a numbers game (not enough women)? |
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It very much is a numbers game when it comes to single men on this site (and I'd suspect many others).
Because of this you'd really have to make the effort to stand out from the crowd, but looking at your profile you're going to be putting a lot of people off.
No information as to what you're into or what you could bring to the table.
In terms of personality the only thing I can see is someone throwing a strop because they're not getting the attention that they think they deserve...
Then one of those copy and paste you don't have permission sentences that don't actually do naff all and in some cases people will use that as a filter to ignore the profile.
If you want any level of success here as a single guy, you've really got to put the effort in. If you're not willing to so that then perhaps you'd be better off looking into those other services.
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"I’m asking because as a genuine guy, who is respectful, educated, looks after himself and is not atrocious to look at, I have not met anyone in the months I’ve been trying. And this is not just on this site, but two others as well. I am on sites that cost a lot more than this one, but was pointed in this direction as the other site’s seem to cater for more ‘long term’ relationships. However, aside from having my time completely wasted by ‘all greet and no meet’ people, nothing. Zero. Zilch. I really may as well pay for ‘professional services’ on a monthly basis. It would likely cost me less once I’ve not had to cover drinks and hotels. What on earth am I doing wrong, or is it simply a numbers game (not enough women)?"
You are doing nothing wrong buddy, believe me. The ratio is ridiculous .. 10 times or more men to women. I'm like you, has always had decent success in the pub because I'm nice guy whose chatty respectful and good company, but on here the ladies don't really value that as it's all about other things. Forget trying to meet on here, you are ten times more likely to find whatever you are looking for on the dating apps, even if it's NSA fwb kink etc than on here. This site is very deliberately set up for the ladies and of course couples, same reasons why the clubs charge a fortune for single guys ..
Just resign yourself to the odd fun conversation with the nice ladies and enjoy the pics, anything else is a bonus and rare as hens teeth. Certainly don't beat yourself up about your perceived failings or what some of the fab women tell you is wrong with you.. like any situation, just be you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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"I've met loads of guys off here but any hint of negativity is a big turn off. (The irony of this given my own profile text is not lost on me!) "
Which just goes to show the imbalance in how this site functions. |
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I think your attitude when reading this message and on your profile
It reads as if you’re saying that because you’ve paid good money to join some sites you should get sex
Lower your expectations, change your profile to be more positive (life’s tough, so who wants to meet mr grumpy)
Get out into pubs if you can and shhhhhh don’t tell everyone but women off fab like sex as well
Have fun, be happy and good luck |
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By *ornycougaWoman 15 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"I've met loads of guys off here but any hint of negativity is a big turn off. (The irony of this given my own profile text is not lost on me!)
Which just goes to show the imbalance in how this site functions."
I disagree. Yes there is an huge imbalance in the ratio of men to women on this site which works in our favour. But - as is posted on the forums on a daily basis - a significant proportion of men on Fab behave as if a woman on here is horny for any old (or young) cock with no effort required on their part. |
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OP. Maybe people are more discerning than you think they are.
You're whole attitude seems to lean towards entitlement. And whilst it's true there are lots of men on here you don't stand out from the crowd; sort that out and maybe you'll have more success.
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By *bi HaiveMan 15 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Yes. Regularly.
There are many things that can be done to improve your Fab life if you choose, but expecting sex just because a profile is created and a few words and pictures posted isn't one of them. 🤷♂️ |
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"Yup, Complete waste of your time. Use it as a network to events and clubs where you'll get more progression, you'll only ever get stood up and messed around on here "
People are standing you up?! Who do they think they are?! 😲😂 |
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"I’m asking because as a genuine guy..."
...we are all genuine, dear fellow. However most of us have the stamp of authenticity. I suggest that you procure that first.
"...who is respectful, educated, looks after himself and is not atrocious to look at"
...your countenance and cognition is only half the story
"...I have not met anyone in the months I’ve been trying."
... you've only been here 4 weeks. That is an infinitesimal epoch within the realms of Fab. Patience is key.
"...And this is not just on this site, but two others as well. I am on sites that cost a lot more than this one, but was pointed in this direction as the other site’s seem to cater for more ‘long term’ relationships. "
...I think you have been misinformed and mislead. Money will not lubricate the apparatus of your success on here. Charm, grace and beguilement will, in measured doses.
"However, aside from having my time completely wasted by ‘all greet and no meet’ people, nothing. Zero. Zilch. I really may as well pay for ‘professional services’ on a monthly basis. It would likely cost me less once I’ve not had to cover drinks and hotels. What on earth am I doing wrong, or is it simply a numbers game (not enough women)?"
It's a numbers game. Plain and simple. It's not helped by the fact that I have unashamedly claimed, coveted and seduced most of the high calibre maidens and damsels on here, leaving the mediocre ones for the unfortunate few.
You will have your opportunity, cometh the hour. |
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By *lan157Man 15 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
It's been said many times OP but you are unlikely to achieve your aims using FAB messaging .Find out where the group socials are held in your area and go along and chat to people there .Make contacts and things will move along much more smoothly for you. |
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"You mention spending good money to be here
It’s a fiver
That fiver does not guarantee you anything at all.
People who don’t pay it get meets
Almost a boots meal deal to be fair!"
But at least you can get something for that fiver 🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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Yes, but need to remember men massively outnumber the ladies.
Just be yourself, genuine, read their profile if looking for the same pop them a message but always expect refusal, being blocked or no reply.
Take it on the chin and be nice as we can't all be someone's cup of tea |
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You are also a man who has only been on fab for 4 weeks. Fab isn't what people think.it isn't an instant hook up site it's a place for us in the scene to be ourselves and chat with others in the lifestyle. You have to make an effort, talk to people and maybe then you'll get to meet others |
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Far more sex available on dating sites.
The women on there are looking for it as much as you are.
Lots of dating site first meets turn out to be 'a hole in one'. If they like you, they don't usually waste time.
I don't for a moment believe that pubs are the best place to pull. Sounds utter bollocks to me!
Check out your local 'massage' ads, if you need a quickie, or longer. It is quite possible to forge some lifelong friendships by going down that avenue. |
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The ratio of men to women/couple is far greater than the other way around , as a single male you have to stand out where as woman and couples can be selective, unfortunately it’s the nature of the beast and this in my opinion is the best site out there for meets , I’ve met and spoken to woman/couples on here so it’s definitely worth sticking with |
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"I’m asking because as a genuine guy, who is respectful, educated, looks after himself and is not atrocious to look at, I have not met anyone in the months I’ve been trying. And this is not just on this site, but two others as well. I am on sites that cost a lot more than this one, but was pointed in this direction as the other site’s seem to cater for more ‘long term’ relationships. However, aside from having my time completely wasted by ‘all greet and no meet’ people, nothing. Zero. Zilch. I really may as well pay for ‘professional services’ on a monthly basis. It would likely cost me less once I’ve not had to cover drinks and hotels. What on earth am I doing wrong, or is it simply a numbers game (not enough women)?"
Give it a few years.. |
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By *enk15Man 15 weeks ago
Evesham |
Curious, is being "educated" supposed to make you more shaggable?
Stating respectful is weird, it should be a given, not a bonus.
Perhaps if you have not had the outcome you desire so far, you should change your approach. |
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Maybe they are just reading your bio and complying?
"if you’ve no intentions of meeting up then please pass me by."
Don't worry though. All is not lost... 4 weeks is still you finding your Fab feet. You wait until you enter your 5th week.
It's like a veritable fannyfest. You will need a snorkel to navigate the depths of your inbox
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By *bi HaiveMan 15 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
As this isn't a profile advice thread this isn't aimed at anyone in particular.
Whenever I see people asking why their expectations aren't being met the first thing that I usually suggest is to do some self reflection.
Forget ratios. They don't matter.
Take a look at your profile, your words and your pictures, any status updates you may post, the content of messages you send and then sit back and think....."If this person messaged me would it spark my interest?".
Because if, in all honesty, you don't say 'hell yes' then you've given yourself an uphill battle. We won't appeal to everyone, but we can do a lot to try and boost the chances of being an attractive prospect to those that on the surface we seem compatible with. Even then, nothing is guaranteed.
Oh. And as always, particularly from a single guys perspective there's a few things that will always help. Being open to getting away from a screen and relying on online contact through organised socials, events and clubs, and sorry to say it, but being able to accomodate will 100% improve your odds. Aside from squashing any fears you may not actually be single it opens more doors to meet those that aren't willing to. And if you feel that's unfair then 🤷♂️🤷♂️.....that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. |
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The issue for this site, is there's a huge disproportionate in the numbers of single males vs females. Single females are often bombarded with messages daily. They have a huge field to pick from, so can afford to be choosy. If you don't stand out or pique interest in any way then unfortunately it's a non starter.
It's a numbers game, frankly. Money doesn't come into it.
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By *959femxCouple 15 weeks ago
Weston super mare |
"Maybe they are just reading your bio and complying?
"if you’ve no intentions of meeting up then please pass me by."
Don't worry though. All is not lost... 4 weeks is still you finding your Fab feet. You wait until you enter your 5th week.
It's like a veritable fannyfest. You will need a snorkel to navigate the depths of your inbox
"
Humour and sarcasm in agony aunt form love it . |
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"Maybe they are just reading your bio and complying?
"if you’ve no intentions of meeting up then please pass me by."
Don't worry though. All is not lost... 4 weeks is still you finding your Fab feet. You wait until you enter your 5th week.
It's like a veritable fannyfest. You will need a snorkel to navigate the depths of your inbox
Humour and sarcasm in agony aunt form love it . "
No sarcasm. I'm still wearing my flippers (sorry, 'fins' to proper divers) and I've been here a bit longer. |
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Yet another person who joined what they thought would/should be instashag, failed to immediately secure sex with six stunning filthbags, had a final whinge on the forum expecting sympathy and a few offers, then flounced out the site door.
Ha! |
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By *ir tootMan 15 weeks ago
Burton-on-Trent |
"Yet another person who joined what they thought would/should be instashag, failed to immediately secure sex with six stunning filthbags, had a final whinge on the forum expecting sympathy and a few offers, then flounced out the site door.
Ha!"
I'm just taking it as it goes 🤣.
There is no rush |
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"Yet another person who joined what they thought would/should be instashag, failed to immediately secure sex with six stunning filthbags, had a final whinge on the forum expecting sympathy and a few offers, then flounced out the site door.
Ha!"
Or perhaps he's just bagged the six and is set up for life, then flounced to enjoy some MFFFFFF |
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"Yet another person who joined what they thought would/should be instashag, failed to immediately secure sex with six stunning filthbags, had a final whinge on the forum expecting sympathy and a few offers, then flounced out the site door.
Ha!"
Six!
We feel cheated, we only got 3! |
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There’s only one reason I have been using this site for over 12 years now, and that’s to meet likeminded people.
I’ve always paid the £5 for silver membership, but nobody has to pay a penny, Fab can be used equally successfully completely free of charge.
Don’t pay too much heed to those who bleat on about “Go to a club”…….as a single guy, you will meet more women in your local Wetherspoons, than you will in a swinger club  |
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By *ornycougaWoman 15 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"Yet another person who joined what they thought would/should be instashag, failed to immediately secure sex with six stunning filthbags, had a final whinge on the forum expecting sympathy and a few offers, then flounced out the site door.
Ha!"
🤣🤣🤣 |
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"There’s only one reason I have been using this site for over 12 years now, and that’s to meet likeminded people.
I’ve always paid the £5 for silver membership, but nobody has to pay a penny, Fab can be used equally successfully completely free of charge.
Don’t pay too much heed to those who bleat on about “Go to a club”…….as a single guy, you will meet more women in your local Wetherspoons, than you will in a swinger club "
That's interesting from you given the verifications you've had from meets at clubs. Obviously you want the club ratio in your favour by dissuading other guys from going! |
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"There’s only one reason I have been using this site for over 12 years now, and that’s to meet likeminded people.
I’ve always paid the £5 for silver membership, but nobody has to pay a penny, Fab can be used equally successfully completely free of charge.
Don’t pay too much heed to those who bleat on about “Go to a club”…….as a single guy, you will meet more women in your local Wetherspoons, than you will in a swinger club
That's interesting from you given the verifications you've had from meets at clubs. Obviously you want the club ratio in your favour by dissuading other guys from going!"
The bulk of my veris from clubs are from hosts, the rest are from couples.
You are correct in part; I am happy to dissuade other guys from visiting clubs, if they think they will meet single ladies in there, yes  |
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"Yup, Complete waste of your time. Use it as a network to events and clubs where you'll get more progression, you'll only ever get stood up and messed around on here
People are standing you up?! Who do they think they are?! 😲😂"
Think it's 6 in a row now that have messed us about, pointless on here. |
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"I’m asking because as a genuine guy, who is respectful, educated, looks after himself and is not atrocious to look at, I have not met anyone in the months I’ve been trying. And this is not just on this site, but two others as well. I am on sites that cost a lot more than this one, but was pointed in this direction as the other site’s seem to cater for more ‘long term’ relationships. However, aside from having my time completely wasted by ‘all greet and no meet’ people, nothing. Zero. Zilch. I really may as well pay for ‘professional services’ on a monthly basis. It would likely cost me less once I’ve not had to cover drinks and hotels. What on earth am I doing wrong, or is it simply a numbers game (not enough women)?"
A little resilience goes a lo..oh….wait. Forget it. |
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"There’s only one reason I have been using this site for over 12 years now, and that’s to meet likeminded people.
I’ve always paid the £5 for silver membership, but nobody has to pay a penny, Fab can be used equally successfully completely free of charge.
Don’t pay too much heed to those who bleat on about “Go to a club”…….as a single guy, you will meet more women in your local Wetherspoons, than you will in a swinger club "
Who constitute the Wetherspoons equivalent to the "wanking dead', then?
'The drinking d*unk'? |
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"Yup, Complete waste of your time. Use it as a network to events and clubs where you'll get more progression, you'll only ever get stood up and messed around on here
People are standing you up?! Who do they think they are?! 😲😂
Think it's 6 in a row now that have messed us about, pointless on here. "
They're fucking crazy. Id arrive with an erection and a bouquet of flowers |
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Yeah I have fun with select women fairly regularly. I am just an honest, non pushy guy that doesn’t ’play the numbers’ and instead looks for people that I like that I get on with.
Once you’ve found that, the rest shouldn’t be a problem |
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"Yup, Complete waste of your time. Use it as a network to events and clubs where you'll get more progression, you'll only ever get stood up and messed around on here
People are standing you up?! Who do they think they are?! 😲😂
Think it's 6 in a row now that have messed us about, pointless on here.
They're fucking crazy. Id arrive with an erection and a bouquet of flowers "
Me too .. |
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that’s not an invitation he was nice polite engaging with both of us wasn’t pushy didn’t send a dick pic 
