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Dear friends a sexuality question for you.
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If a person likes/ fancies/ fucks Non Binary (NB) people that are AFAB and are biologically female, what sexuality would you say they are?
I know labels are not helpful. Just very interested as when using the apps it came up on NB profiles ‘if you’re straight and you like me, no you aren’t’  which I loveddd. And it just got me thinking, well, yes, because if you like someone that doesn’t identify as a woman, that’s not straight is it?
Please be kind and respectful I am interested in this but don’t wish for people to launch into rants about how much they dislike pronouns.  |
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"I’ve no idea, but I predict it’ll be carnage finding out the answers here. "
There are some nice people on here. But I suspect you’re right. I may have been a bit impulsive.
Anyway, I thought- would the label be queer? |
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"I wish I understood your post OP. "
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different? |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?"
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?"
I’d say biologically based they are straight then. As penis into vagine 
Now living / gender based well that’s variable. Does this person look male / female ? How does the world visually perceive them as ?
Take myself as a trans woman I live look female so get treated as such in day to day but online if people no I am trans usually I get a few nahh your just a bloke and it’s gay if men like you.
Ergo I think how we visually look is more important in people’s perceptions at face value over how we individually decide ourselves
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender. "
Non binary people DO transition. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
Non binary people DO transition. "
They they aren’t non binary. The very definition of it is that they are non binary. Transitioning is binary. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
Non binary people DO transition.
They they aren’t non binary. The very definition of it is that they are non binary. Transitioning is binary. "
Transition isn't binary! I know lots of non binary people that have had gender affirming care and surgery, just straight up incorrect. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
Non binary people DO transition.
They they aren’t non binary. The very definition of it is that they are non binary. Transitioning is binary.
Transition isn't binary! I know lots of non binary people that have had gender affirming care and surgery, just straight up incorrect. "
I’m not getting into gender bullshit soup on this. You define whatever terms you want how you want. I’m out. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?"
There's no straight answer to that.
If I look at someone and fancy them and I don't know they are NB then nothing changes for me. I'm straight, made an assumption that I was looking at a woman and that's that.
If on further investigation I found out that person was NB and they were sexually compatible with me (born with a vagina) and we had sex I would still identify as straight but technically, and for the purposes of describing that particular sexual interaction, I would describe that experience as something other than heteronormative.
I'd still be straight.
Someone else might feel differently.
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?"
Straight |
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By *vaRose43Woman 15 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
"
To add that ceterosexual I believe is for attraction to non-binary people only, although it’s sometimes used in place of skoliosexual which can be a controversial label |
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If someone would fuck an AFAB non binary person, but not an AMAB non binary person, then maybe stop splitting them by assigned gender at birth and don't fuck any non binary people.
The whole point of non binary is to not be broken down to "penis or vagina" and it's quite ignorant |
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"If someone would fuck an AFAB non binary person, but not an AMAB non binary person, then maybe stop splitting them by assigned gender at birth and don't fuck any non binary people.
The whole point of non binary is to not be broken down to "penis or vagina" and it's quite ignorant "
I don't consider it ignorant at all because I'm not splitting anyone by assigned gender at birth.
A penis isn't sexually compatible with my preference because I'm not interested in dicks.
For me, regardless of initial attraction, the plumbing matters and that's my choice to make. |
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"If someone would fuck an AFAB non binary person, but not an AMAB non binary person, then maybe stop splitting them by assigned gender at birth and don't fuck any non binary people.
The whole point of non binary is to not be broken down to "penis or vagina" and it's quite ignorant
I don't consider it ignorant at all because I'm not splitting anyone by assigned gender at birth.
A penis isn't sexually compatible with my preference because I'm not interested in dicks.
For me, regardless of initial attraction, the plumbing matters and that's my choice to make."
It's also up to the non binary person to decide whether you just seeing them as a vagina is invalidating to their identity. |
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"What’s in a name? What’s it matter?
I am bisexual and would enjoy naughty times with every gender of human being, however they want to be referred to. But only if they are nice people!"
I agree with this I’m not a fan of labels and I’m not really up
On the new labels but if you’re using straight bi or gay then the man having sex with the biological woman is straight. I can’t see how he isn’t. |
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"If someone would fuck an AFAB non binary person, but not an AMAB non binary person, then maybe stop splitting them by assigned gender at birth and don't fuck any non binary people.
The whole point of non binary is to not be broken down to "penis or vagina" and it's quite ignorant
I don't consider it ignorant at all because I'm not splitting anyone by assigned gender at birth.
A penis isn't sexually compatible with my preference because I'm not interested in dicks.
For me, regardless of initial attraction, the plumbing matters and that's my choice to make.
It's also up to the non binary person to decide whether you just seeing them as a vagina is invalidating to their identity."
Saying plumbing compatibility matters to me isn't quite the same as seeing people as just their genitals.
Your hostility isn't really conducive to a civil discussion though so I'll leave it there and if you feel you need the last word then please, by all means, take it. |
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"If someone would fuck an AFAB non binary person, but not an AMAB non binary person, then maybe stop splitting them by assigned gender at birth and don't fuck any non binary people.
The whole point of non binary is to not be broken down to "penis or vagina" and it's quite ignorant
I don't consider it ignorant at all because I'm not splitting anyone by assigned gender at birth.
A penis isn't sexually compatible with my preference because I'm not interested in dicks.
For me, regardless of initial attraction, the plumbing matters and that's my choice to make.
It's also up to the non binary person to decide whether you just seeing them as a vagina is invalidating to their identity.
Saying plumbing compatibility matters to me isn't quite the same as seeing people as just their genitals.
Your hostility isn't really conducive to a civil discussion though so I'll leave it there and if you feel you need the last word then please, by all means, take it."
If you've taken adding the other perspective as hostility then that's ok you matey, no hostility there. Your other comment further up isn't far off how i'd explain it myself. You chose to respond to my comment. |
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I may be late to this whole labelling and gender thing, and at my age I have no intention of giving brain space to trying to understand all the complexities.
I'm simply taking the stance that if someone would like me to know their pronouns or gender I'm very happy to receive that information, and I will do my very best to refer to them in the manner they ask, and I'll try hard not to make any judgements over their gender or sexuality.
My 50 plus years of social conditioning will take a while to unravel, and I'm doing my best. Just please don't confuse this hormonal woman (she/her) any further 🙏🏻 |
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If your predominant interest remains the same or changes, that's the important element. It's normal to have outliers in your fields of interest but someone may not immediately or ever change their self-perceived sexual orientation. We generally stay focused on the bigger picture, rather than what might seem to some to be anomalies.
The allure of what may seem quirky or indefinable, can be strong and yet not puzzling. |
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"I may be late to this whole labelling and gender thing, and at my age I have no intention of giving brain space to trying to understand all the complexities.
I'm simply taking the stance that if someone would like me to know their pronouns or gender I'm very happy to receive that information, and I will do my very best to refer to them in the manner they ask, and I'll try hard not to make any judgements over their gender or sexuality.
My 50 plus years of social conditioning will take a while to unravel, and I'm doing my best. Just please don't confuse this hormonal woman (she/her) any further 🙏🏻"
You're doing great! Doing your best with individuals is always a million times better than actively setting out to hate on a group of people because it goes against whatever beliefs you hold  |
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"I may be late to this whole labelling and gender thing, and at my age I have no intention of giving brain space to trying to understand all the complexities.
I'm simply taking the stance that if someone would like me to know their pronouns or gender I'm very happy to receive that information, and I will do my very best to refer to them in the manner they ask, and I'll try hard not to make any judgements over their gender or sexuality.
My 50 plus years of social conditioning will take a while to unravel, and I'm doing my best. Just please don't confuse this hormonal woman (she/her) any further 🙏🏻"
Excellent post, and very true |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender. "
I get you. But I suppose the reason that people say it’s not straight (the NB people) is because they don’t believe themselves to be woman or man. And so therefore, you’re attracted to someone that isn’t a woman, though they are female. |
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"I would just call it queer. I like it as a catch all for everything non hetro normative."
I think queer is the most sensible. However I would also feel like a fraud if I labelled myself as queer. 😅 |
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"What’s in a name? What’s it matter?
I am bisexual and would enjoy naughty times with every gender of human being, however they want to be referred to. But only if they are nice people!
I agree with this I’m not a fan of labels and I’m not really up
On the new labels but if you’re using straight bi or gay then the man having sex with the biological woman is straight. I can’t see how he isn’t. "
I have hilarious conversations with my eldest on this subject. He presents as female and would describe himself as a Demi-boy or sometimes Trans Femme Non Binary.
I'm fascinated by all the various permutations and combinations of sex and sexuality and the words that are used to describe various preferences and compatibilities.
Honestly I need a handbook to keep up with him.
He gravitates towards friends who are unconcerned with labels and more free-flowing in their ideas about conformity and he tends to stay away from those who are more militant about their definitions in both the straight and trans communities. |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
"
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people. |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people. "
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people. |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people.
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people. "
Because you're still separating them by AFAB/AMAB. You're not wrong for being attracted to them let me make that clear, but the actual language you're using is still going against the whole non binary grain. |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people.
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people.
Because you're still separating them by AFAB/AMAB. You're not wrong for being attracted to them let me make that clear, but the actual language you're using is still going against the whole non binary grain. "
Ok makes sense.
The only reason I guess I make that differentiation is because it matters to me (in terms of sexual attraction) whether the person has penis or vagina. And I guess that’s also problematic? I dunno I don’t mean to get things wrong I’m open to learn. |
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By *RWoodyCouple 15 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
Please do excuse me but I genuinely (as I've never really read/discussed/talked about anything of this nature) have no clue what any of that means. I mean absolutely zero.
I do find people so very interesting though so it's great to read everyones answers/ thoughts.
J x |
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Honestly OP I love that you want to “get it right”. It speaks to who you are. If that’s not too patronising 😬
I just try not to make assumptions and follow someone’s lead when I meet them. I don’t always get it right but I do try. Cos if that’s important to them and who they are, why wouldn’t I? I’m not them, I can’t know exactly how they feel. It’s not for me to tell them who they are. But anything I can do to help another human be comfortable in their own skin, I’m there.
Mrs TMN x |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people.
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people.
Because you're still separating them by AFAB/AMAB. You're not wrong for being attracted to them let me make that clear, but the actual language you're using is still going against the whole non binary grain.
Ok makes sense.
The only reason I guess I make that differentiation is because it matters to me (in terms of sexual attraction) whether the person has penis or vagina. And I guess that’s also problematic? I dunno I don’t mean to get things wrong I’m open to learn. "
No not problematic or even transphobic to have genital preferences, just to make that clear as well. You don't even have to tell a non binary person you're not attracted *because* they have a penis, they're just not for you. Huge difference between stating "I only want AFAB non binary people" and being selective and direct with the non binary people you are attracted to. They may or may not have an issue with your decision being based on their genitals.
Just making it very clear that AFAB and AMAB non binary people are still considered as non binary. Whether that's a little bit femme, a little bit masc, both, or neither, regardless of what they have in their pants.
I have no doubts that you'd respect the identity of a non binary person whether you were attracted to them or not though. |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people.
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people.
Because you're still separating them by AFAB/AMAB. You're not wrong for being attracted to them let me make that clear, but the actual language you're using is still going against the whole non binary grain.
Ok makes sense.
The only reason I guess I make that differentiation is because it matters to me (in terms of sexual attraction) whether the person has penis or vagina. And I guess that’s also problematic? I dunno I don’t mean to get things wrong I’m open to learn.
No not problematic or even transphobic to have genital preferences, just to make that clear as well. You don't even have to tell a non binary person you're not attracted *because* they have a penis, they're just not for you. Huge difference between stating "I only want AFAB non binary people" and being selective and direct with the non binary people you are attracted to. They may or may not have an issue with your decision being based on their genitals.
Just making it very clear that AFAB and AMAB non binary people are still considered as non binary. Whether that's a little bit femme, a little bit masc, both, or neither, regardless of what they have in their pants.
I have no doubts that you'd respect the identity of a non binary person whether you were attracted to them or not though. "
Oh yes totally! I tend to not to need to say anything on apps because you just swipe on who you are interested in. But I am aware that labelling myself as straight is a barrier for some NB people (which is ok) and also that they don’t think I am straight if I am interested in them (makes total sense to me) so wondered about it and here I am. If that even makes sense.
But thanks for this interaction it has been great to learn from. |
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"It's a question I like and have pondered on before.
Is straight defined by the presentation, the genitalia at birth, or the genitalia at present?"
I think the answer differs from person to person. But I understand arguments for presentation and genitalia at present |
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"I believe it would come under the pansexual umbrella
skoliosexual I think is the term for a sexuality that denotes you’re only attracted to people who are trans or non-binary
The only reason I wasn’t sure on pan is because it’s not that the person is necessarily attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. It’s only in the case of the person being biologically female though it is regardless of their gender presentation. It’s interesting and confusing and why labels are stupid but it is also kinda like, I want to understand these labels especially on the apps when I am open to meeting female NB people.
And as a poster above said, maybe I’m wrong for being open to meeting AFAB NB people but not AMAB NB people.
Because you're still separating them by AFAB/AMAB. You're not wrong for being attracted to them let me make that clear, but the actual language you're using is still going against the whole non binary grain.
Ok makes sense.
The only reason I guess I make that differentiation is because it matters to me (in terms of sexual attraction) whether the person has penis or vagina. And I guess that’s also problematic? I dunno I don’t mean to get things wrong I’m open to learn.
No not problematic or even transphobic to have genital preferences, just to make that clear as well. You don't even have to tell a non binary person you're not attracted *because* they have a penis, they're just not for you. Huge difference between stating "I only want AFAB non binary people" and being selective and direct with the non binary people you are attracted to. They may or may not have an issue with your decision being based on their genitals.
Just making it very clear that AFAB and AMAB non binary people are still considered as non binary. Whether that's a little bit femme, a little bit masc, both, or neither, regardless of what they have in their pants.
I have no doubts that you'd respect the identity of a non binary person whether you were attracted to them or not though.
Oh yes totally! I tend to not to need to say anything on apps because you just swipe on who you are interested in. But I am aware that labelling myself as straight is a barrier for some NB people (which is ok) and also that they don’t think I am straight if I am interested in them (makes total sense to me) so wondered about it and here I am. If that even makes sense.
But thanks for this interaction it has been great to learn from. "
Considering these thoughts and how they relate to you and your sexuality, and the courage to ask in the first place does show that you're wanting to understand and learn, it's great absolutely spot on.
Same for anyone, if you're unsure, ask away. Asking and learning is better than being worried you might offend with the wrong information |
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I have this question on a daily basis as one of my partners is exactly this.
I’m bisexual, we’re in a queer relationship. I’m attracted to them in masc mode, in femme mode and in the various assortments of presentation that they are at other times.
I’d be surprised if an Enby didn’t present differently away from femme so that attraction, irrespective of their genitals, would indicate at least a twist in the straight |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender. "
That's what I thought too?
Are we wrong? |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
That's what I thought too?
Are we wrong? "
Some non binary people have their breasts removed, bigger breasts added, genital surgeries, hormone replacement therapies, and some choose not to medically transition. All are valid and non binary, just not all stay as assigned gender at birth. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
That's what I thought too?
Are we wrong? "
So not wrong, just not a flat answer for every single non binary person x |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender. "
I think that you’re conflating sex with gender |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?"
Neither. The question implies that a hard straight/non-straight demarcation exists, but life is more complex than that. The recognised terms for types of sexual attraction don't help:
Homosexual: sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted to someone of a different gender.
Which in principle means that you're only homosexual if you're attracted to people with exactly the same configuration of gender/genitals as yourself; and every other possible mix would be some form of hetero thing...
Straight? Not a bloody clue. Maybe in another couple of hundred years the English language (and more particularly, the way that people actually think about this stuff) will catch up with reality. I wouldn't hold my breath though. |
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"In my opinion they would be pansexual i.e ‘sexually or romantically attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender’ "
but the person’s sex is relevant. In the sense that I would only have sex with someone that has a vagina.
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
That's what I thought too?
Are we wrong?
Some non binary people have their breasts removed, bigger breasts added, genital surgeries, hormone replacement therapies, and some choose not to medically transition. All are valid and non binary, just not all stay as assigned gender at birth. "
I clearly need to do more reading, thank you for that |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Neither. The question implies that a hard straight/non-straight demarcation exists, but life is more complex than that. The recognised terms for types of sexual attraction don't help:
Homosexual: sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted to someone of a different gender.
Which in principle means that you're only homosexual if you're attracted to people with exactly the same configuration of gender/genitals as yourself; and every other possible mix would be some form of hetero thing...
Straight? Not a bloody clue. Maybe in another couple of hundred years the English language (and more particularly, the way that people actually think about this stuff) will catch up with reality. I wouldn't hold my breath though."
This is why queer I think is a better definition. But like I said, I would feel like an imposter or like I’m taking up space with that label. |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Straight. A NB isn’t transitioning from gender to gender. They remain in their birth gender.
That's what I thought too?
Are we wrong?
Some non binary people have their breasts removed, bigger breasts added, genital surgeries, hormone replacement therapies, and some choose not to medically transition. All are valid and non binary, just not all stay as assigned gender at birth.
I clearly need to do more reading, thank you for that "
I understand you can be trans and non binary so that makes sense |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Neither. The question implies that a hard straight/non-straight demarcation exists, but life is more complex than that. The recognised terms for types of sexual attraction don't help:
Homosexual: sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted to someone of a different gender.
Which in principle means that you're only homosexual if you're attracted to people with exactly the same configuration of gender/genitals as yourself; and every other possible mix would be some form of hetero thing...
Straight? Not a bloody clue. Maybe in another couple of hundred years the English language (and more particularly, the way that people actually think about this stuff) will catch up with reality. I wouldn't hold my breath though.
This is why queer I think is a better definition. But like I said, I would feel like an imposter or like I’m taking up space with that label. "
Hope you wouldn't feel like an imposter, as it does account for the non binary people you may be attracted to as well as women. No one should or even want to police your use of a label, if you feel like it suits your situation better, give it a whirl!  |
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"In my opinion they would be pansexual i.e ‘sexually or romantically attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender’ but the person’s sex is relevant. In the sense that I would only have sex with someone that has a vagina. "
Hmm… I see what you’re saying but a NB person wouldn’t identify as male or female so if you were attracted to or had sex with a person who didn’t identify as a woman would that not mean you were pan? To be straight, would you not exclusively have sex with females that only identify as women? Is there such a thing as pan-curious? Oh I don’t know, it is confusing… |
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I think the beauty of swinging is freedom. I believe just find beauty in the people you're attracted to and enjoy. Don't hold yourself back or be a holden to internalised or external shame.
For me personally I would say straight is the most accurate label. But that's mainly in terms of sex rather than gender per se. I have absolutely no sexual intrest in the carrier of male sexual organs. However I been with pre-op transmen. So naturally it follows that I could happily be attracted to and share with non-binary biological women. If that makes sense? I also often find my attraction is towards tomboy/androgynous women which naturally alot of non-binary and pre-op transmen fall into this look.
I'm not an expert in the field of sex and gender or the current culture of identity politics. I take people as I find them and treat them with openness, respect and love. I hope people do the same in return. Naturally I use the pronouns people wish me to use and respect their gender identity. I understand why some transmen and non-binary people would not be happy that I could be attracted to them as a biological woman but not post-op as a man/non-binary with male organs. I accept that and that's totally their right not to be around me and to dislike me for that hypocrisy. Also in my experience with transmen I've often found a femininity in them that I've been attracted to. I understand some would also find that problematic and disrespectful. However no disrespect intended as I fully respect they are a man it's just an aura of their personality I pick up from them as well as the masculine. Its this femininity that I'm drawn to. But in my experience people also accept me for my sexuallity and preferences and while they are still biologically a woman they're OK with that and me.
Mr |
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"In my opinion they would be pansexual i.e ‘sexually or romantically attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender’ but the person’s sex is relevant. In the sense that I would only have sex with someone that has a vagina.
Hmm… I see what you’re saying but a NB person wouldn’t identify as male or female so if you were attracted to or had sex with a person who didn’t identify as a woman would that not mean you were pan? To be straight, would you not exclusively have sex with females that only identify as women? Is there such a thing as pan-curious? Oh I don’t know, it is confusing…"
Totally confusing. Lmao |
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"I wish I understood your post OP.
If a cis man likes people that identify as Non Binary but are biologically female and assigned female at birth, are they straight or is their sexuality defined as something different?
Neither. The question implies that a hard straight/non-straight demarcation exists, but life is more complex than that. The recognised terms for types of sexual attraction don't help:
Homosexual: sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted to someone of a different gender.
Which in principle means that you're only homosexual if you're attracted to people with exactly the same configuration of gender/genitals as yourself; and every other possible mix would be some form of hetero thing...
Straight? Not a bloody clue. Maybe in another couple of hundred years the English language (and more particularly, the way that people actually think about this stuff) will catch up with reality. I wouldn't hold my breath though.
This is why queer I think is a better definition. But like I said, I would feel like an imposter or like I’m taking up space with that label. "
Quinky? |
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