FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Not looking for single guys
Not looking for single guys
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear "
We are open, but can’t be doing with the messages  |
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I can only assume as this is technically a swingers site & not officially a site for casual hookups that a lot of couples want to meet other couples for an actual swing experience.
Not to mention the bombardment women get. |
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We have, and I'm still open to it. The problem is I'm so bloody fussy, it does the fellas head in haha!
Also, messages quickly turn smutty when starting to chat, which then puts me right off and I disconnect. |
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We do find it interesting how many couples profiles state this explicitly, yet also have (fairly recent) verifications from single male accounts or public photos of the female half engaged in some sexual shenanigans and it's captured "not the hubby/Mr (profile name)" |
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"We have, and I'm still open to it. The problem is I'm so bloody fussy, it does the fellas head in haha!
Also, messages quickly turn smutty when starting to chat, which then puts me right off and I disconnect."
Not one for constant smut talk. I once stopped correspondence with a hotwife because I called her a MILF and she said that made her cringe  |
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We are open to single guys the problem we have is that most arnt genuine, some don't fit the bill in what we're looking for and the ones that do still have to click with us. We are very fussy and as bad as it sounds the guys who are attached or in couples seem to know how to speak to a woman better.
A few tips for single guys..
Read a profile and send a message based on what you read and intrests you. Don't send a dick pic! Her husband has one she can see anytime. send your face, If your not comfortable send a tastefull pic first. Talk to them as a couple. Don't say hey babe or hey sexy this is referring to the female and makes the male feel left out straight from the off. The minute one of them isn't feeling it, it's over for you.
Know when to pull the trigger. Mr nice guy is good but at some point you need to come across as a sexuall desire not end up in the friends zone. Trust me this can happen lol
I could go on here but I'll leave it at that. |
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"We have, and I'm still open to it. The problem is I'm so bloody fussy, it does the fellas head in haha!
Also, messages quickly turn smutty when starting to chat, which then puts me right off and I disconnect."
💯 |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 15 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
We are open, but can’t be doing with the messages "
This |
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Also, we initially were open to single guys when we first joined, but soon had to block them.
Hundreds of messages, some multiple messages - and not all complimentary either. Most didn't read our profile at all anyway, and if we had one picture of their phalange....
Granted, not every one is a "bad apple" but the majority seems to ruin it for the minority who are. |
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From personal experience and this isn’t directed at all single men but the majority that we have seen. We mainly do club meets, when we are there the single men come across as desperate. They follow us and other couples around the club making it feel really uncomfortable and even when you enter a room and lock the door they are banging on it asking if they can come in. If we/they wanted you in then you would have been invited |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear "
Wait, wait, hang on
Just going to put this here. 🪑
Just going to pop this down here ⛱️
Now, where’s the.. .aha! 🍿
Right then…🥤Please continue |
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"From personal experience and this isn’t directed at all single men but the majority that we have seen. We mainly do club meets, when we are there the single men come across as desperate. They follow us and other couples around the club making it feel really uncomfortable and even when you enter a room and lock the door they are banging on it asking if they can come in. If we/they wanted you in then you would have been invited "
Seen this loads at clubs. We once had a random single guy just follow us in to a room when we went in to play with another couple, and he just started to get undressed without saying a word.... We were like, wtf you doing mate? 😂 |
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A mate of mine and his partner have it on their profile. They are not above a mfm meet and do occasionally have that dynamic in clubs, but mostly they both want to be with the opposite from another couple. |
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"From personal experience and this isn’t directed at all single men but the majority that we have seen. We mainly do club meets, when we are there the single men come across as desperate. They follow us and other couples around the club making it feel really uncomfortable and even when you enter a room and lock the door they are banging on it asking if they can come in. If we/they wanted you in then you would have been invited
Seen this loads at clubs. We once had a random single guy just follow us in to a room when we went in to play with another couple, and he just started to get undressed without saying a word.... We were like, wtf you doing mate? 😂"
🤣🤣🤣 that’s why we tend to stick to couples only nights, don’t get us wrong some couples can just be as bad if not worse than a single man but it’s very few and far between xx |
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In this essay I am going to examine why couples on fab aren’t interested in single guys. Although this statement seems simple enough, a closer examination reveals a more complex and nuanced picture. Some couples have verifications from single guys which appears to indicate they are not being entirely truthful. What’s going on here?
Let’s look at things from the perspective of a couple new to fab. It’s very common (sweeping generalisation alert!) for couples to come to fab when they’re curious about explore the femme’s bi side. Rightly or wrongly, it’s perceived as less threatening to the guy - it’s not a direct substitute for him. I think society still places a huge cache on one person being everything you should ever need, your “other half”.
Porn stereotypes then reinforce this, with any guy who “lets” their partner be fucked by other men being cast as a cuck, as lesser, as not enough for their partner. Our inbox can attest to this.
Fab is also used by a huge amount of singles, mostly men, who come here for a hookup. The majority of couples I know need someone who looks a bit deeper than that. Who understands the dynamics of different couples and takes time to figure that out so it works for all of you. I’m fully aware this can lead to the hoop jumping that some couples ask of guys, and that skews the balance too. You’ve all got to be on the same page.
Ultimately, I think it takes time and effort to build those connections which, given the large proportion of single guys using fab as a fuck site, are rare. Repeated negative interactions reinforce those stereotypes of single guys as pushy and couples as up themselves. Being “picky” or “fussy” is flagged as a sign of entitlement. Guys get frustrated, couples close their filters and don’t advertise that they might, actually, be interested in single guys.
In conclusion, there are many varied reasons why couples aren’t looking for single guys, ranging from societal perception to inbox overwhelm.
Or they might just enjoy some vag.
Mrs TMN x |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 15 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"In this essay I am going to examine why couples on fab aren’t interested in single guys. Although this statement seems simple enough, a closer examination reveals a more complex and nuanced picture. Some couples have verifications from single guys which appears to indicate they are not being entirely truthful. What’s going on here?
Let’s look at things from the perspective of a couple new to fab. It’s very common (sweeping generalisation alert!) for couples to come to fab when they’re curious about explore the femme’s bi side. Rightly or wrongly, it’s perceived as less threatening to the guy - it’s not a direct substitute for him. I think society still places a huge cache on one person being everything you should ever need, your “other half”.
Porn stereotypes then reinforce this, with any guy who “lets” their partner be fucked by other men being cast as a cuck, as lesser, as not enough for their partner. Our inbox can attest to this.
Fab is also used by a huge amount of singles, mostly men, who come here for a hookup. The majority of couples I know need someone who looks a bit deeper than that. Who understands the dynamics of different couples and takes time to figure that out so it works for all of you. I’m fully aware this can lead to the hoop jumping that some couples ask of guys, and that skews the balance too. You’ve all got to be on the same page.
Ultimately, I think it takes time and effort to build those connections which, given the large proportion of single guys using fab as a fuck site, are rare. Repeated negative interactions reinforce those stereotypes of single guys as pushy and couples as up themselves. Being “picky” or “fussy” is flagged as a sign of entitlement. Guys get frustrated, couples close their filters and don’t advertise that they might, actually, be interested in single guys.
In conclusion, there are many varied reasons why couples aren’t looking for single guys, ranging from societal perception to inbox overwhelm.
Or they might just enjoy some vag.
Mrs TMN x"
Thanks for the in-depth study 😁 |
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By *bi HaiveMan 15 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We do find it interesting how many couples profiles state this explicitly, yet also have (fairly recent) verifications from single male accounts or public photos of the female half engaged in some sexual shenanigans and it's captured "not the hubby/Mr (profile name)""
Simple.
The 'not looking for single guys' pops up due to mail filters. It doesn't mean people aren't looking to meet them.
Just means they want to do the searching and make first contact rather than have an inbox full of PM's from guys they're not interested in.
Simple as that. |
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"In this essay I am going to examine why couples on fab aren’t interested in single guys. Although this statement seems simple enough, a closer examination reveals a more complex and nuanced picture. Some couples have verifications from single guys which appears to indicate they are not being entirely truthful. What’s going on here?
Let’s look at things from the perspective of a couple new to fab. It’s very common (sweeping generalisation alert!) for couples to come to fab when they’re curious about explore the femme’s bi side. Rightly or wrongly, it’s perceived as less threatening to the guy - it’s not a direct substitute for him. I think society still places a huge cache on one person being everything you should ever need, your “other half”.
Porn stereotypes then reinforce this, with any guy who “lets” their partner be fucked by other men being cast as a cuck, as lesser, as not enough for their partner. Our inbox can attest to this.
Fab is also used by a huge amount of singles, mostly men, who come here for a hookup. The majority of couples I know need someone who looks a bit deeper than that. Who understands the dynamics of different couples and takes time to figure that out so it works for all of you. I’m fully aware this can lead to the hoop jumping that some couples ask of guys, and that skews the balance too. You’ve all got to be on the same page.
Ultimately, I think it takes time and effort to build those connections which, given the large proportion of single guys using fab as a fuck site, are rare. Repeated negative interactions reinforce those stereotypes of single guys as pushy and couples as up themselves. Being “picky” or “fussy” is flagged as a sign of entitlement. Guys get frustrated, couples close their filters and don’t advertise that they might, actually, be interested in single guys.
In conclusion, there are many varied reasons why couples aren’t looking for single guys, ranging from societal perception to inbox overwhelm.
Or they might just enjoy some vag.
Mrs TMN x
Thanks for the in-depth study 😁"
I have undertaken a lot of fieldwork to gather the data. |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear "
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
|
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
"
If that’s what you think most couples want, how do you fit into the mix? Not being arsey, tone is tricky on here.
Mrs TMN x |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
"
I disagree both as someone who meets solo and as part of a couple for several reasons. "Wife swapping" as a term makes my teeth itch, especially the possessive phrasing that suggests that wives are theirs to swap. Also, four way attraction is rare and hard to find. A threesome is much easier to find, really fucking hot, and we are honoured when someone agrees to join our dynamic. |
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I would say that a large number of single men who want to meet couples don't really want to meet couples. They just want access to me. They want sex and will tolerate being part of a threesome to get that. Which is pretty shitty. There doesn't have to be any bi-stuff with the single guys we meet but for me much of the point of a MFM/MMF is being able to do stuff like DP and DVP. |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
If that’s what you think most couples want, how do you fit into the mix? Not being arsey, tone is tricky on here.
Mrs TMN x"
I said this was back in the olden timey days - obviously as a single male I am overjoyed that ‘swinging’ includes threesomes, singles hooking up, hotwives roaming cheap hotel foyers etc.
We’ve moved on. Nice |
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"I would say that a large number of single men who want to meet couples don't really want to meet couples. They just want access to me. They want sex and will tolerate being part of a threesome to get that. Which is pretty shitty. There doesn't have to be any bi-stuff with the single guys we meet but for me much of the point of a MFM/MMF is being able to do stuff like DP and DVP. "
Not me - threesomes are awesomes |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear "
Assume for a moment I am answering from my wife and i's profile.
Why would we be open to it?
My wife has no desire to be with other men l, just women and I have no desire to see her with other men..but she has a desire to see me with other women.
That's just how we are. |
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"I would say that a large number of single men who want to meet couples don't really want to meet couples. They just want access to me. They want sex and will tolerate being part of a threesome to get that. Which is pretty shitty. There doesn't have to be any bi-stuff with the single guys we meet but for me much of the point of a MFM/MMF is being able to do stuff like DP and DVP. "
Luckily most of them make it quite obvious they are only after the female. It makes them easy to Ignore. |
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By *ags73Man 15 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"In this essay I am going to examine why couples on fab aren’t interested in single guys. Although this statement seems simple enough, a closer examination reveals a more complex and nuanced picture. Some couples have verifications from single guys which appears to indicate they are not being entirely truthful. What’s going on here?
Let’s look at things from the perspective of a couple new to fab. It’s very common (sweeping generalisation alert!) for couples to come to fab when they’re curious about explore the femme’s bi side. Rightly or wrongly, it’s perceived as less threatening to the guy - it’s not a direct substitute for him. I think society still places a huge cache on one person being everything you should ever need, your “other half”.
Porn stereotypes then reinforce this, with any guy who “lets” their partner be fucked by other men being cast as a cuck, as lesser, as not enough for their partner. Our inbox can attest to this.
Fab is also used by a huge amount of singles, mostly men, who come here for a hookup. The majority of couples I know need someone who looks a bit deeper than that. Who understands the dynamics of different couples and takes time to figure that out so it works for all of you. I’m fully aware this can lead to the hoop jumping that some couples ask of guys, and that skews the balance too. You’ve all got to be on the same page.
Ultimately, I think it takes time and effort to build those connections which, given the large proportion of single guys using fab as a fuck site, are rare. Repeated negative interactions reinforce those stereotypes of single guys as pushy and couples as up themselves. Being “picky” or “fussy” is flagged as a sign of entitlement. Guys get frustrated, couples close their filters and don’t advertise that they might, actually, be interested in single guys.
In conclusion, there are many varied reasons why couples aren’t looking for single guys, ranging from societal perception to inbox overwhelm.
Or they might just enjoy some vag.
Mrs TMN x"
Detailed.
I just assume it’s as female/couple swamped with messages and have options.
|
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
If that’s what you think most couples want, how do you fit into the mix? Not being arsey, tone is tricky on here.
Mrs TMN x
I said this was back in the olden timey days - obviously as a single male I am overjoyed that ‘swinging’ includes threesomes, singles hooking up, hotwives roaming cheap hotel foyers etc.
We’ve moved on. Nice"
I’m confused. I thought you said the kinky couple origins still dominate which is why couples don’t want single men? |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
If that’s what you think most couples want, how do you fit into the mix? Not being arsey, tone is tricky on here.
Mrs TMN x
I said this was back in the olden timey days - obviously as a single male I am overjoyed that ‘swinging’ includes threesomes, singles hooking up, hotwives roaming cheap hotel foyers etc.
We’ve moved on. Nice
I’m confused. I thought you said the kinky couple origins still dominate which is why couples don’t want single men?"
If we ignore the desperate hoards of single men, I’d say that couples predominantly seeking sexual liaisons with other couples are still in the majority |
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I leave mine open to everyone because party and event invites can come from any demographic.
But.
If I were actually seeking single men to pay with, I'd probably block them from messaging me without me reaching out first.
The constant stream of unwanted penii in my inbox makes me have to actively clear my head whe someone actually sends a reasonable message to get rid of the 'ugh' from wading through the shite. The time it takes just to clear my inbox as is leaves me no time or drive to go looking for interesting g profiles. I would much rather be able to reach out if I was interested, and simply not get anything from those I haven't wanted to reach out to myself 💜 |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear "
Why don’t you meet anyone over 65?…..it’s exactly the same reason….its preference.
We don’t meet single guys because it’s not either of our interests.we prefer to have fun with single ladies or couples but we never swap. It’s all about preferences, plus london loves pussy too….
It all comes down to what we both want, which dick and pussy, or just pussy |
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"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
I have to say something
Back in the day, before ‘tinterweb and America calling it ‘swinging’ here in Blighty it was called ‘Wife-swapping’ - the majority of participants were married couples looking to spice things up by having sex with other people’s spouses… simpler days of Lambrusco and cheese and pineapple on cocktail stick fuelled debauchery. A single guy or girl at these parties was unusual but not unknown.
Now of course it’s a ‘lifestyle’ and we need labels and definitions and rules but the kinky couple origins of the lifestyle still dominate. Hence why couples don’t want single men or women, they want the fun and interaction of couples of the OG lifestyle
If that’s what you think most couples want, how do you fit into the mix? Not being arsey, tone is tricky on here.
Mrs TMN x
I said this was back in the olden timey days - obviously as a single male I am overjoyed that ‘swinging’ includes threesomes, singles hooking up, hotwives roaming cheap hotel foyers etc.
We’ve moved on. Nice
I’m confused. I thought you said the kinky couple origins still dominate which is why couples don’t want single men?
If we ignore the desperate hoards of single men, I’d say that couples predominantly seeking sexual liaisons with other couples are still in the majority"
So we haven’t moved on from the old timey days? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man 15 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"No, not a moan about this filter, I’m simply curious. Why aren’t you open to meeting single guys? Please note; I don’t need straight men to answer this, that answer is pretty clear
Why don’t you meet anyone over 65?…..it’s exactly the same reason….its preference.
We don’t meet single guys because it’s not either of our interests.we prefer to have fun with single ladies or couples but we never swap. It’s all about preferences, plus london loves pussy too….
It all comes down to what we both want, which dick and pussy, or just pussy "
I think that we all know that preference doth butter no parsnips.
It’s the why that’s the question. Answering ‘because’ is no response |
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Our dynamics are mostly for bi couples maybe the very odd time a bi man.
We've done the straight dynamic and it bored me. We put our filters up when we were getting constant messages from "straight" men saying they don't mind sucking a cock now and again..
We prefer attending bi events and have met some lovely single bi men.
If some single men took the effort to understand that couples dynamics are different then it wouldn't be so hard for them on here.
The amount of messages we have had from men assuming we are on here as i need a good seeing to as my husband is a cuck is ridiculous. |
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By *WANDTGCouple 15 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
"I can only assume as this is technically a swingers site & not officially a site for casual hookups that a lot of couples want to meet other couples for an actual swing experience.
Not to mention the bombardment women get."
I was actually thinking the same thought today, surely a singleton would choose pof, tinder or another hook up option.
Obviously there is a place here for the single person but as a couple we'd like to swap with a couple ( we have met bi single men and enjoyed the experience) |
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I am. But only ones I like. I switch it off the option because it’s an easy way to fabmin and not have to read 7,000 messages that say “hi”, “how r u”, “wUUT” or 9,000,000 “how r u finding the site” and unsolicited dick pics (happy to receive deck or duck pics fyi)
 🦆 |
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By *onmar02Couple (MM) 15 weeks ago
Bargoed |
"Plenty of straight guys are happy to meet single guys"
But how many bi guys are wanting to meet m/m couples.
Had it before when I've seen a guys profile and want to send a wink just as a compliment but can't as they not looking for single guys yet my profile is m/m couple. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Issue is theres so many 
budge up. 
