Six years ago I celebrated my 50th birthday (a landmark I never expected to reach), among friends at Cirque at Xtasia. A kink event I was proud to help crew and I enjoyed and knew a lot of the people who crewed and attended. I had three wonderful bespoke cakes made by a dear friend.
Yesterday I was back at Cirque for my first kink event in six months and dressed en femme for my first time in I don't know how long, to celebrate my upcoming birthday with close friends. I couldn't help but think of the changes in those years.
Life never stays still for anyone. In the intermittent years I lost my father, I lost one of my closest friends who was almost like a second father to me and one of my kink mentors and another close friend emigrated. We had the pandemic and my interest in public kink events and confidence at them has all but vanished. As I don't go to things anymore and the pandemic meant people I used to know don't come out anymore, I can almost count on two hands the number of people I knew at Cirque yesterday.
Oh and the other minor change in those six years is trying to kill myself and at times wishing I had succeeded. Some very close friends have been with me through all this and it's partly down to them I am still here. They are always genuinely happy to see me and only want the best for me. I am very grateful to have them in my life and try not to take them for granted. |
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