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By *oo..Woman 9 weeks ago
Boo's World |
Some have a way of making you feel fantastic one minute and then blaming you for their lack of being around/treating you like 💩 another because they don't think they do no wrong.
Those people also don't know the word "sorry" either.
That's what I've found especially via fab. |
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We are creatures of habit and it's easy to get stuck in a toxic cycle of attracting and keeping around the wrong people. It's usually something lacking within ourselves whether that be low self esteem, lack of self confidence or trauma that sets a narrative of being treated like shit is all we have ever known and it's what we deserve. It's comforting and familiar to experience the hurt you are content with, rather than take a risk of being hurt by a person you are happy with. It's not an easy thing to change but with a little self reflection as to why and removing those people out your life, things become a little more clear and you will discover that self worth where you no longer welcome these people in your life. |
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I think with some people it can sometimes be if they didn’t treat you like they would you still go back??
It’s a difficult one. I’ve been in situations where I’ve thought I wish he’d message me as much another one does and I wish he’d say the things he says. But would i feel the same if he did? The mind is a strange thing. 🤷♀️ |
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"I think with some people it can sometimes be if they didn’t treat you like they would you still go back??
It’s a difficult one. I’ve been in situations where I’ve thought I wish he’d message me as much another one does and I wish he’d say the things he says. But would i feel the same if he did? The mind is a strange thing. 🤷♀️"
Reading that back it probably makes no sense but I know what I mean 🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back "
It actually takes a lot of bravery to control your own narrative, you would be surprised how many people prefer to let others do it for them, going back to the wrong person is one of many, ways avoid creating what you truly want, it’s easier. |
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Remember, you’re the most important and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
You can be caring and fun and make other people smile whilst still focusing on number one! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, however they may try!
Getting back up and letting them see you will a smile on your face will not only brighten up everyone’s day around you but it’ll say a big ‘F You 🖕🏻’ to whoever it is that treated you crap and wind them up!
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"The ostrich effect...we avoid confronting issues and information hoping they will go away.
That and trauma bonding. Unless the trauma bond is broken the tendancy is to always go back "
I feel I need to google this effect and understand more, thank you |
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That's narcissists for you! Why women return to these men time and time again I'll never know. If someone makes me feel bad they're gone, full stop!. No dick is worth all that abuse and my self esteem is high enough to know I can do better.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"We are creatures of habit and it's easy to get stuck in a toxic cycle of attracting and keeping around the wrong people. It's usually something lacking within ourselves whether that be low self esteem, lack of self confidence or trauma that sets a narrative of being treated like shit is all we have ever known and it's what we deserve. It's comforting and familiar to experience the hurt you are content with, rather than take a risk of being hurt by a person you are happy with. It's not an easy thing to change but with a little self reflection as to why and removing those people out your life, things become a little more clear and you will discover that self worth where you no longer welcome these people in your life. "
This^  |
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Why are we meant to hang around with people who make us feel like shit ? Huh must of missed that lesson, never mind ay, makes sense though now you mention it, maybe I’m a piece of shit but I don’t chill with people who make me feel like one. 🤔🤔🤔 interesting logic.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Easy to say I know, but don't invest in anyone that doesn't give you the same back.
They know you'll always be there for their satisfaction, and whilst for that brief period you feel like you've getting something back, you aren't and deep down you know this.
Stop allowing this to happen to yourself,and walk away.
Believe in yourself xx |
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We don’t want to look at ourselves introspectively and see the things that need changing in us that will make ourselves feel worthy or valued by ourselves.
We don’t generally react well to changes even If they are in our best interest. Our brains become accustomed to the chemicals that the negative emotions that bad people/behaviours bring us and consider them as “normal” and comfortable so changing to a positive is alien and rejected.
It takes a lot of time, therapy or self help to get out of that situation, so don’t be hard on yourself, just take it a step at a time and keep checking you are setting the right boundaries around you and avoid letting people cross them. |
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I almost lost everything because of a man, a career, my home , many friends and almost my family and once he had me and I had helped him through his own trauma he realised I wasnt what he wanted after all and moved on with his life. Saying the same things to his new ‘soul mate who completes him’ as he did to me. I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to rebuild my life again but it’s very hard and on times very lonely. I struggle with the loss of a career I’d spent half my life building and the loss of revenue and my own self respect while he enjoys his life as normal with his new love. Have I learned from it? In truth I don’t know but I know it’s changed me. A lot. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I just hope I never fall in love again or allow anyone close enough to have that much impact on my life again. I’m getting there but have a heavy weight where my heart use to be. |
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