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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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My very good fab friends voice note.
‘You are not a bad person, you don’t do things wrong, but you usually have terrible taste in the men you meet so maybe the new one is just awesome because he’s different’
You don’t get that kinda of blunt honesty and love from anyone else but the best friends! |
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A toddler watching me put my shoes on, when I stood up she started clapping and saying 'yay! Well done Terry' she was super happy for me 
It made me laugh, and my name isn't Terry, but she always calls me 'Terry' 
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"A toddler watching me put my shoes on, when I stood up she started clapping and saying 'yay! Well done Terry' she was super happy for me
It made me laugh, and my name isn't Terry, but she always calls me 'Terry'
"
My friend's toddler calls me Dave |
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This joke.
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so pissed if it's not ready on time." When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg - and a can of cat food.
With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner.
To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day?" Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish.
She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified
"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed. Two months later, her husband died.
The women were sitting around the clubhouse and one of them said, "You killed him "We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in!
"How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?" The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him.
He fell off the windowsill while he was lîckïng his âss." |
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By *agatoXXXMan 8 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"A toddler watching me put my shoes on, when I stood up she started clapping and saying 'yay! Well done Terry' she was super happy for me
It made me laugh, and my name isn't Terry, but she always calls me 'Terry'
My friend's toddler calls me Dave "
Is the childs' name Trigger? |
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"Keir Starmers 'return of the sausages' gaffe in his speach today. They played it on the radio tonight and it really tickled me. "
Same. I was half expecting him to follow up with a proposed deal for hummus and a plan to reverse breakfast. |
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Seeing friends on Friday and that should fix things.
