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Question for the experienced...
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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...Fabbers out there:
How do you distinguish between the genuine folk and the wastes of space?
Some folk seem so genuine and then when it comes to the crunch, they bottle it, or delete their profile or block you.
Been let down a lot recently, and today was by someone who seemed real and authentic.
How good is your bullshit radar? |
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How do you define real and authentic?
Sometimes you have to look at how you do things.
As a single male sometimes if you get a message and start to talk it’s easy to drop your filters
Don’t compromise for anyone |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 8 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Not necessarily fake, but you do get that feeling that someone is flakey, or not as committed to the meet as you'd think when:
They seem to be getting off on the messages, rather than a simple, 21.30, Saturday night and I'll pick you up, done and dusted.
Or they suddenly go radio silent when you send the confirmation message.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Someone decides not to meet you so that makes them a waste of space? Seriously? "
I travelled for a meet today that has been 4 weeks in the making: they went offline this morning after confirming it was still on and left me in the lurch and out of pocket. |
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"Not necessarily fake, but you do get that feeling that someone is flakey, or not as committed to the meet as you'd think when:
They seem to be getting off on the messages, rather than a simple, 21.30, Saturday night and I'll pick you up, done and dusted.
Or they suddenly go radio silent when you send the confirmation message.
"
Or radio silence when they are not at work as their partner is there when they are at home and they don’t know that they are on here |
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It’s pretty decent although people still skip through.
Poor messages and profile are a first indicator.
People who rush to start talking about sex.
Early hints - I’ve always wanted to go to a club but I’m shy… etc.
Assumptions that a social is more. Pushiness to know how a club night went beyond polite how was your night. Asking for more photos.
There are loads more but these spring to mind. |
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"Someone decides not to meet you so that makes them a waste of space? Seriously?
I travelled for a meet today that has been 4 weeks in the making: they went offline this morning after confirming it was still on and left me in the lurch and out of pocket."
Have you confirmed or tried to confirm that they are okay. There’s a lot of flooding around and public transport not working and the motorways are pretty gridlocked due to spray.
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My due diligence mitigates most of the unhinged, chancers and those mercurial women who don't know whether they are coming or going. Nothing is infallible - I sometimes ask Fab friends or forumites if they happen to know the person (e.g. through socials), gut instinct, intuition, voice conversations...
Even genuine people change their minds. That's perfectly acceptable. |
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"Someone decides not to meet you so that makes them a waste of space? Seriously?
I travelled for a meet today that has been 4 weeks in the making: they went offline this morning after confirming it was still on and left me in the lurch and out of pocket."
I get the frustration. I’ve experienced it myself. But people will people. Try and learn what red flags you might have missed, but insulting people is just gonna drag you down to a level you don’t want to be. Basically do better than the one who let you down.  |
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Just because someone deletes their profile or blocks, it doesn't mean they're fake or a waste of space.
Maybe life got in the way so they decide to leave fab for a bit, or they changed their mind, you maybe said something they didn't like and they blocked you.
I've changed my mind numerous times about meeting someone, after I've chatted to them a while. So it's not unreasonable to think others have done the same.
No doubt there are fakes and Scammers on here, but they are easy to spot if you're paying attention.
Time wasters to me are those who arrange to meet people, then stand them up with no warning. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Someone decides not to meet you so that makes them a waste of space? Seriously?
I travelled for a meet today that has been 4 weeks in the making: they went offline this morning after confirming it was still on and left me in the lurch and out of pocket.
Have you confirmed or tried to confirm that they are okay. There’s a lot of flooding around and public transport not working and the motorways are pretty gridlocked due to spray.
"
I've messaged them and received no response. They cancelled on me last minute a couple of weeks ago due to a family issue, and I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
Obviously I won't be making that mistake again. |
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"Someone decides not to meet you so that makes them a waste of space? Seriously?
I travelled for a meet today that has been 4 weeks in the making: they went offline this morning after confirming it was still on and left me in the lurch and out of pocket."
Report their profile op, that's not a nice thing to do to anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Just because someone deletes their profile or blocks, it doesn't mean they're fake or a waste of space.
Maybe life got in the way so they decide to leave fab for a bit, or they changed their mind, you maybe said something they didn't like and they blocked you.
I've changed my mind numerous times about meeting someone, after I've chatted to them a while. So it's not unreasonable to think others have done the same.
No doubt there are fakes and Scammers on here, but they are easy to spot if you're paying attention.
Time wasters to me are those who arrange to meet people, then stand them up with no warning. "
Just been stood up without any communication, and they cancelled at the last minute when we last organised a meet. They haven't blocked me either - that was in reference to another person. I get that people can block and that's up to them but at least cancel the meet first to save a person the time and effort of getting ready and heading out |
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Been on and off here now for several years both as a single gent and a couple so I like to think my bullshit radar is quite good at spotting fakes and time wasters.
A thick skin certainly helps with this site |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Been on and off here now for several years both as a single gent and a couple so I like to think my bullshit radar is quite good at spotting fakes and time wasters.
A thick skin certainly helps with this site "
I do have a thick skin mate, usually, just a tad annoyed is all. It's good to vent  |
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"Just because someone deletes their profile or blocks, it doesn't mean they're fake or a waste of space.
Maybe life got in the way so they decide to leave fab for a bit, or they changed their mind, you maybe said something they didn't like and they blocked you.
I've changed my mind numerous times about meeting someone, after I've chatted to them a while. So it's not unreasonable to think others have done the same.
No doubt there are fakes and Scammers on here, but they are easy to spot if you're paying attention.
Time wasters to me are those who arrange to meet people, then stand them up with no warning.
Just been stood up without any communication, and they cancelled at the last minute when we last organised a meet. They haven't blocked me either - that was in reference to another person. I get that people can block and that's up to them but at least cancel the meet first to save a person the time and effort of getting ready and heading out"
I get that one and responded above.
Block them and report them op.
I don't give people many chances anymore, unless it's people I already know.
It sounds like they didn't really want to meet, if they cancelled last min last time.
I do agree people should be upfront, say they're not gonna meet you and then block if they're worried about any potential come backs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Just because someone deletes their profile or blocks, it doesn't mean they're fake or a waste of space.
Maybe life got in the way so they decide to leave fab for a bit, or they changed their mind, you maybe said something they didn't like and they blocked you.
I've changed my mind numerous times about meeting someone, after I've chatted to them a while. So it's not unreasonable to think others have done the same.
No doubt there are fakes and Scammers on here, but they are easy to spot if you're paying attention.
Time wasters to me are those who arrange to meet people, then stand them up with no warning.
Just been stood up without any communication, and they cancelled at the last minute when we last organised a meet. They haven't blocked me either - that was in reference to another person. I get that people can block and that's up to them but at least cancel the meet first to save a person the time and effort of getting ready and heading out
I get that one and responded above.
Block them and report them op.
I don't give people many chances anymore, unless it's people I already know.
It sounds like they didn't really want to meet, if they cancelled last min last time.
I do agree people should be upfront, say they're not gonna meet you and then block if they're worried about any potential come backs. "
They were really apologetic last time and were keen for meeting apparently, after I told them we'd just leave it.
I'm usually laid back and let things slide but this one annoyed me since they were the instigator. |
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Every single one of them may have been 100% truthful and wanted to find the right person to meet. But you weren't it, because it takes time to get to establish which are the minority who are fully compatible.
Yes can improve your skills for detecting poor matches, as you could for sensing if people are not serious or telling the truth.
The easiest thing is to accept that we will only be right for the tiniest fraction of people and to be prepared for this. Go to clubs etc and meet lots of people and lessen the importance of each interaction with someone here. |
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