So I’ve been reading the forums and thought maybe I’d try something a bit different
Post a topic and each day bring up a new discussion point on it
For those that want to learn can ask questions and for those that have experience to maybe learn something new or help people
Please no shaming.
So in the world of BDSM and kink and you can say life in general it is said to be built on 4 corner stones:
1. Communication
2. Trust
3. Respect
4. Honesty
So for the next 24 hours let’s talk about communication and what it means to you.
Are you good at communicating what you need and want and like
Do you over communicate
Do you struggle to communicate or to listen to others who are trying to
I hope this works and let’s see how it goes |
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I can communicate well. Other times I don’t want to people at all
That said if I’m with someone I like and need communication, there is nothing worse, for me, to be on the end of the silent treatment. It makes me overthink
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I am rubbish at communicating what I want and need in face to face situations but by text it’s easy. I’ve spent decades pleasing other people and adapting my own behaviour to make/keep them happy that I didn’t know what I wanted myself. My new found freedom from that part of me feels incredibly bizarre and is taking a lot of getting used to. Every day is a new one to practice how to communicate what I want more effectively. |
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Im a good listener and id say i have good emotional intelligence to be able to empathise and conncect with someone. But im not good at opening up my own thoughts and feelings and i keep alot to myself. |
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I’ve been on a steep learning curve on this recently (or maybe longer and I didn’t realise). I’ve learned how before I can articulate what I want, from whom, and why, I need to understand clearly what it is I actually want. I get lost on the whom before I figure out a clear what and why. I’m getting better. Work in progress though |
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Communication 💜
I am voracious at communicating what I want and like and need. Sometimes I struggle to express things verbally and directly. My closest people are usually very adept at reading the body language and the things unsaid between the words spoken. But I know it's an area I still need to work on. And I will usually make sure to indicate in other ways what I want when I can't make the words happen.
I probably do overcommunicate. I annoy myself with the need to say something that I'm pretty sure they already know because I don't have clarity that they truly do understand. I'm glad of my fondness for providing oral and worship, or I might be offended by the amount of times I'm told there are better uses for my mouth than the waffling.
I think, for the most part, what I try and get across to partners is understood, and what they're trying to get across to me is understood.
Strangers though, or just new people that I haven't had the time (or inclination) to grasp their cadence or the way they process things. It's sometimes like banging my head against a brick wall. Or theirs 💜 |
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I'm great at communicating my needs and wants, and I want to know the needs and wants of the people I'm seeing, too. I'm very direct and probably ask too many questions in my bid to really understand where someone is, as I'll miss the nuances that neurotypicals instinctively pick up on. Some people love it. Others probably feel like I'm interrogating them. It's magic when I find someone who's communication styles matches my own  |
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"I’m a great communicator. People just don’t seems to be good at listening 😂🤷🏽♂️"
I find this too. I give up trying to hold a conversation or saying what I need too because people are quick to talk over me, or at me.
I find the ability to listen is a rare quality nowadays |
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I'm a very adept communicator, both in terms of expressing my needs and also nurturing others to communicate theirs as well.
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With regulars who meet me for sessions, I will write up post-session reports. For those outside of the BDSM arena that might sound strange, but aftercare, follow up, and reviewing a person's journey and progress is important to me and them. BDSM is a form of therapy at the end of the day, so nurture and communication is quite natural. |
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