Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals? |
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By *rRiosMan 14 weeks ago
dublin |
"Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals?"
Short answer: no.
Longer answer: everyone tells lies. The motive and outcome behind the lie matters. |
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"Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals?
Short answer: no.
Longer answer: everyone tells lies. The motive and outcome behind the lie matters. "
There's obviously times were the truth hurts, a couple of examples are "is Father Christmas real", or "do I look fat in this?"… Neither of which require a lie. I don't aim to mean for the sake of the truth, but there's still a way to be truthful. |
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"How can we be sure that you're not earnest in your post? You could be lying."
This is a fair and honest question. One of which I fully respect and hope my turmoil to drop morals speaks volumes. But trust is earned and not something I can request or demand. But perhaps advice on faith? |
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"How can we be sure that you're not earnest in your post? You could be lying.
This is why I only trust people who like big butts.
Apparently, they cannot lie."
Well, when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist.. the truth is definitely out there. |
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"Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals?
Short answer: no.
Longer answer: everyone tells lies. The motive and outcome behind the lie matters.
There's obviously times were the truth hurts, a couple of examples are "is Father Christmas real", or "do I look fat in this?"… Neither of which require a lie. I don't aim to mean for the sake of the truth, but there's still a way to be truthful."
Try that again... What are your friends telling you to lie about? |
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"Depends what you will be lying about! "
Isn't every lie a reflection on yourself, or in the eyes of others?
I was told I need to lie about myself more in order to more appealing if that helps clarify a bit more? |
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You should always aim to be honest but if the truth will harm someone else and a small avoidance of the truth could spare them WITHOUT hurting someone else then maybe thing of another answer than the total blunt truth. Ie. Is Santa real? Answer: You get presents when everyone is asleep so how else do they get there? Not a direct lie but not the straight truth either. |
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"Depends what you will be lying about!
Isn't every lie a reflection on yourself, or in the eyes of others?
I was told I need to lie about myself more in order to more appealing if that helps clarify a bit more?"
Lie, or "beef out the truth"? |
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"Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals?
Short answer: no.
Longer answer: everyone tells lies. The motive and outcome behind the lie matters.
There's obviously times were the truth hurts, a couple of examples are "is Father Christmas real", or "do I look fat in this?"… Neither of which require a lie. I don't aim to mean for the sake of the truth, but there's still a way to be truthful.
Try that again... What are your friends telling you to lie about? "
To lie about myself mainly, in order to become more appealing and succeed more within my professionally, but extended that to a more general statement as we're also participating in a pub quiz and I refused to write an answer they had searched for on their phones. |
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"Do I look fat in this? Well I preferred the other one on you as it was more flattering.
Just an alternative not a lie. "
Exactly! You don't have to be mean for the sake of being truthful. I normally ask, how do you feel it? Because I was brought up with the old adage of "bugger the starer, suit the wearer". |
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Our personal moral code is what we decide it to be. Sure, listen to feedback from friends who may or may not wish to support you. But be wary of those who may simply be aiming to help themselves, by reducing their own anxieties and insecurity, because you are different and represent how they know they really should be.
Be sure to enforce your own personal boundaries, so that others know what is and isn't right for you. You don't have to live down to other people's standards, ever. You can opt to accept others for their own choices, just as everyone can accept you for your own. |
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"Read first post.
No.
Lying is never the right option
Thank you! Five friends all round a table was trying to convince me I was wrong and outdated."
Wait now. How can we be sure that the eventual winners of the pub quiz didn't also use their phones? Could this has been a situation where your lie would have negated theirs, and so everyone would still be on an equal moral footing? |
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"How can we be sure that you're not earnest in your post? You could be lying.
·
This is a fair and honest question. One of which I fully respect and hope my turmoil to drop morals speaks volumes. But trust is earned and not something I can request or demand. But perhaps advice on faith?"
•
You can lose your moral standards as long as you don't misalign your moral compass. That way you'll still be cognisant of your ethics, despite your transgressions in regards to lying.
You already have faith, hence the provenance of this thread. You wouldn't have created it otherwise.
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"Read first post.
No.
Lying is never the right option
Thank you! Five friends all round a table was trying to convince me I was wrong and outdated.
Wait now. How can we be sure that the eventual winners of the pub quiz didn't also use their phones? Could this has been a situation where your lie would have negated theirs, and so everyone would still be on an equal moral footing? "
Does it matter? My team didn't win. But due to this I was subject to a barrage of feedback about my marital, employment and even parental status was brought up. |
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"Our personal moral code is what we decide it to be. Sure, listen to feedback from friends who may or may not wish to support you. But be wary of those who may simply be aiming to help themselves, by reducing their own anxieties and insecurity, because you are different and represent how they know they really should be.
Be sure to enforce your own personal boundaries, so that others know what is and isn't right for you. You don't have to live down to other people's standards, ever. You can opt to accept others for their own choices, just as everyone can accept you for your own. "
This is fabulous! Thank you! |
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"Read first post.
No.
Lying is never the right option
Thank you! Five friends all round a table was trying to convince me I was wrong and outdated.
Wait now. How can we be sure that the eventual winners of the pub quiz didn't also use their phones? Could this has been a situation where your lie would have negated theirs, and so everyone would still be on an equal moral footing?
Does it matter? My team didn't win. But due to this I was subject to a barrage of feedback about my marital, employment and even parental status was brought up."
Of course it matters. But I digress.
Personally, I think the issue at hand here isn't a question of your moral compass. If your friends are putting you down for your marital, employment or parental status off the back of a pub quiz answer (or any reason at all, for that matter) they're not your friends. |
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"Been out with friends tonight and was told that I need to become more comfortable with lying. Lying is something my moral compass doesn't go to, and I'd rather be be left on my own with nothing than than lie, cheat and or steal. But is it time for me to lose morals?"
Everyone lies. It’s necessary to survive. Conversations can’t even happen without lies. We’ve all said “I’m good” when we aren’t. Told someone they look fine when they don’t. Complimented someone’s food when it’s awful. Made an excuse to leave early etc.
Lying is that deep. If we didn’t do it then our species would be in constant conflict. Did you know that deceit is one of the first things a child learns? It must be for a reason.
Luckily we’ve also developed ways of telling if someone is lying in a major way. So that strikes a balance. |
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