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Sooo tell me your favorite one liner or joke
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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A man drives through town and notices two packets of crisps outside of a shop.
He curiously pulls over and asks them if they need any help or wanted a lift.
One of the packets replies:
"No thanks, mate. We're Walkers."
...
I'll get me coat... |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the Rabbit "What blood type are you?"
"I think I'm a Type-O", replied the rabbit. |
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"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......
Apparently he just camembert it any more
Many apologies "
Did his boss disabrie with him ?  |
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By *r TriomanMan 17 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......
Apparently he just camembert it any more
Many apologies "
My friend makes cheese in Wales, it's a delicate job that needs to be done Caerphilly. |
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"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......
Apparently he just camembert it any more
Many apologies
My friend makes cheese in Wales, it's a delicate job that needs to be done Caerphilly."
These jokes are really starting to smell, I cannot brie! |
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"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......
Apparently he just camembert it any more
Many apologies
Did his boss disabrie with him ? "
I like what you did there, real mature! |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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A lady started chatting me up in the pub last night. I asked her if I could smell her fanny. She slapped me and said "Certainly not!".
I said "it must be your feet then" |
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"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......
Apparently he just camembert it any more
Many apologies
Did his boss disabrie with him ?
I like what you did there, real mature!"
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By *agatoXXXMan 17 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up "
I don't get it. |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it."
Cracked egg ?? |
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By *agatoXXXMan 17 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??"
The original "joke" |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??
The original "joke""
Eggsactly |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??
The original "joke"
Eggsactly "
I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??
The original "joke"
Eggsactly
I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds "
Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣 |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??
The original "joke"
Eggsactly
I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds
Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣"
This has well.and truly come home to roost  |
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"To the person who stole my thesaurus and took all my anti depressant meds.
I am crestfallen, bereft and heartbroken. Are you happy now?"
I bought the world's worst thesaurus the other day. Not only was it terrible, it was also terrible. |
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"What do Mexicans do in the cold....
The use chicken fajitas.....
Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣
I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!
That cracked me up
I don't get it.
Cracked egg ??
The original "joke"
Eggsactly
I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds
Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣
This has well.and truly come home to roost "
Just take the yoke out...it'll be all white then! |
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"Two dyslexics in a kitchen.
One says to the other “ can you smell gas ?”
Other one says “ I can’t even smell my own name “
The mr "
I was told I wouldn't be able to do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I've already made two bowls and a vase.
BTW. Why is dyslexia such a difficult word to spell?  |
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By *agatoXXXMan 15 weeks ago
Gone and completely forgotten. |
"Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.
If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Thurrey too.
FIFY
Thankth!"
No worrieth, Thilver Fux! |
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In college I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
I didn't want to believe my dad stole from his job as a lollipop man, but all the signs were there |
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By *orny PTMan 15 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"My son's favorite joke :-
Why do squirrels swim on their back?
To keep their nuts dry.
Sorry, I just needed other people to experience that.
Now to repeat it another 20 times ... "
Conker's bad fur day? |
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My grandad once said "when one door closes, another one opens".
A wise man, but a shit kitchen Fitter.
He was in the war as well. He was personally responsible for bringing down 32 German bombers.
He was easily the worst mechanic in the luftwaffe |
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By *r TriomanMan 15 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?
Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald.
I'm guessing that if it smells up there, he's definitely not a McLean "
And if you find biscuit crumbs up there, he's one of the McVities... I'll stop now. |
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By *orny PTMan 14 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?
Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald.
I'm guessing that if it smells up there, he's definitely not a McLean "
He could be a Butter, as in knob of. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!
Didn't I offer a better version of this three weeks ago? See the start of the thread..."
I posted a joke and the next day someone posted it again with slightly different wording.
No one bothers to read the thread it seems |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!
Didn't I offer a better version of this three weeks ago? See the start of the thread...
I posted a joke and the next day someone posted it again with slightly different wording.
No one bothers to read the thread it seems"
The next day is a bit of a stretch. It was a few days later |
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A guy went to the doctor for his annual check up. The doc asked him how his stools were. The guy, somewhat confused said "They were a bit loose but I sorted that out with a tub of wood glue!" He was even more confused when the doc immediately rang the hospital to book the guy in for a colonoscopy!
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"I went to my premature ejaculators support meeting this morning. Turns out the meeting is tomorrow "
Not so bad as the meeting of clairvoyants that had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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Chinese proverbs.
Man who walk in front of car get tyred
Man who walk behind car get exhausted.
Man who live in Glasshouse get changes in basement.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left |
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