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Cheesey chat up lines
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Not sure whether this is the best or worst one I've ever heard, but it's one that's stuck.....
My best friend and I were hanging around Oxford Street (back into he good old days!)...there were two girls sitting on a bench, low cut jeans, one of them was leaning forward slightly.....
As we walk pass them, a group of guys walked by, behind them, and one of them goes, in the loudest voice possible....."I like your thonnnng hunny"....
....I think she liked it from their reaction.  |
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At a singles dating event I told a Scottish girl, to feel my shirt.
She felt it cautiously, I asked
You know what material that is?
She said no
I said that's boyfriend material!
She didn't laugh, and told me never to use that line again 
But I did get her phone number  |
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Did you know you had 206 bones in your body? Would you like another.
I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I’ll make your Bedrock (make sure to use it on people old enough to remember The Flintstones)
They call me milk, cos I do your body good (Good for people with brittle bone disease)
No chairs…. Come sit on my knee and let’s talk about the first thing that pops up.
If you and I were a sock, we’d make a great pair (For the foot/sock fans amongst us)
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Funniest I heard was
*Do you like chicken? Well suck this it's fowl"
Cheesiest I've heard that actually worked for my mate was
"You parents must be thieves, as they stole to stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" 🤮 |
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I remember 2 in particular.
One was a cheeky guy who was trying to get people to sign up for charity donations who tried to talk to me, asked if I was popping into Sainsbury's and then asked if I could buy him a chocolate bar.
I was feeling generous so I bought the whole team Crunchies and handed them to him on my way rushing back through and he shouted after me and asked for my number. I got a bit bashful at that point and he actually had the audacity to do that thing Barney did from "How I Met Your Mother" where he shouted "Give him your number!" While pretending someone else had said it, and got his team to start chanting "Give him your number!".
I just laughed and walked away but it made me smile.
The other one was when I was about 19 and the bus I was on stopped and kicked everyone off. The driver gave us transfer tickets so we could get on the next one without paying again and when I got on the next one the driver said he couldn't use it because it was missing some numbers.
I got confused and he kept saying it needed more numbers and I said "what numbers?" and he said "Your phone number!".
I think I turned all shades of red at that point and didn't know how to respond to that. |
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Do you come here often, or is it just the way you are walking?
"Hi, I suppose a shag is out of the question? No? Would you mind lying down whilst I have one then?
Take heed on this, it resulted in several black eyes and only worked once  |
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grab your coat hen you've pulled
can I ask you a question what's the biggest cock you've been fucked with?
if your lucky you may get an answer or a slap
then reply with at least you've got your memories |
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I came up with one today on the tube, although I doubt I'd ever use it.
It goes...
If we are to believe quantum physics and that there are infinite universes where every scenario is played out. Then I'm one of those universes we are having sex right now! Or could it be this one? I'm which case... |
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By *irldnCouple 9 weeks ago
Brighton |
Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven!
Are you American? Cos you’re definitely the ten I see!
Am I dead? Cos looking at you I must be in heaven!
I think we could make beautiful babies, but let’s start with a drink! |
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By *irldnCouple 9 weeks ago
Brighton |
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
I can see a dark handsome stranger in your future…me!
If a stranger really fancied you, what we he have to say to impress you? (when she tells you repeat it back to her) |
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