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what a numpty i am
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When i got in from work the other day i whipped off my bra and was strutting around my flat topless.
Decided to bung some bread in the oven and somehow ended up burning my left nipple on the tray... my god did it hurt.
What silly/stupid things have you done lately? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you were trying to get a pic of the microwave oven between your boobs  "
haha i wasnt actually.. my boobs arent that big. im still stumped on what to come up with for that avatar challenge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i got in from work the other day i whipped off my bra and was strutting around my flat topless.
Decided to bung some bread in the oven and somehow ended up burning my left nipple on the tray... my god did it hurt.
What silly/stupid things have you done lately?"
can I come and kiss it better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I put a staple into my finger,yeah I know I know,sitting at parents evening bored ,so started to play with a stapler till teacher was available for our turn,sat through the whole appointment with green paper towels wrapped around my hand, and hand in pocket bleeding,dying to shout ARRRRRRRRRGH   "
reminds me of the time some of the lads from 6th form thought it would be funny to do some jackass style things.. firing a wall stapler into their ass.. lol
only one of them did it. rest wimped.out  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"my boobs arent that big.
You would need more than two fried eggs to hide your modesty  "
well my boobs are large but theyd need to be the size of chelsea charms to squeeze a microwave down them.
I can get a pint glass between them or bottle of wine. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can get a pint glass between them or bottle of wine.
I'll drink to that, or rather from there  "
quite often stick an alcopop down there and drink through a straw lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monday filling tea pot at work from a geezer wiping the side down while waiting moved tea pot to wipe underneath ....... Water still running .... Ouch 2 half hrs in A&E hand is a mess now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hope ya paid ya dues to Minxie....
She has the copyright on Chaos and Mayhem... "
Luckily this was the first accident ive had in a while. last one was falling down a set of concrete steps leaving my thigh a rainbow of bruises.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would love to see a pic of that LOL oh and BTW the pic of you in the face mask show you also have stunning eyes aswell xx "
cheers.. just got snap happy with the camera even though the colour picture was bright and vivid i thought thr b&w was more intense |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What apart from changing my name to Fuckmeryan ?
I tipped a kettle of boiling water down my leg and then ripped my tights off which ripped the top layer of skin off. Boy did that hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well hope the nipple recoverd quickly lol . We flew over to Belfast last night. And I have only gone and lefty my medication on the kitchen work top. 
I could end up in bed all weekend but for all the wrong reasons lol. Does the good old nhs direct work the same here ( sorry to be ignorant lol ) hoping i can explain and see if they can offer a solution .. |
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"Well hope the nipple recoverd quickly lol . We flew over to Belfast last night. And I have only gone and lefty my medication on the kitchen work top.
I could end up in bed all weekend but for all the wrong reasons lol. Does the good old nhs direct work the same here ( sorry to be ignorant lol ) hoping i can explain and see if they can offer a solution .. "
Northern Ireland is still the UK so it is the NHS. Dial 111 and ask for advice or Google the nearest walk in centre.
Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well hope the nipple recoverd quickly lol . We flew over to Belfast last night. And I have only gone and lefty my medication on the kitchen work top.
I could end up in bed all weekend but for all the wrong reasons lol. Does the good old nhs direct work the same here ( sorry to be ignorant lol ) hoping i can explain and see if they can offer a solution .. "
yes it does. Go to their website for more info. You can also go into a chemist explain the situAtion and they Maybe able to sort you out |
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"When i got in from work the other day i whipped off my bra and was strutting around my flat topless.
Decided to bung some bread in the oven and somehow ended up burning my left nipple on the tray... my god did it hurt.
What silly/stupid things have you done lately?"
Let letsbe loose with the tens machine on Thursday  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i got in from work the other day i whipped off my bra and was strutting around my flat topless.
Decided to bung some bread in the oven and somehow ended up burning my left nipple on the tray... my god did it hurt.
What silly/stupid things have you done lately?
Let letsbe loose with the tens machine on Thursday "
burnt my cock in hair straighteners, |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"When i got in from work the other day i whipped off my bra and was strutting around my flat topless.
Decided to bung some bread in the oven and somehow ended up burning my left nipple on the tray... my god did it hurt.
What silly/stupid things have you done lately?"
awww how are you now babe would u like me to suck it better u know where i am lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cmon then benny boy... explain burning your knob on straighteners lol
someone challenged me to do it, the bj was good after though"
Dare ya to turn that blender on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cmon then benny boy... explain burning your knob on straighteners lol
someone challenged me to do it, the bj was good after though
Dare ya to turn that blender on "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forgetting the burnt nipple for a moment
Numpty is my favourite "insult" it's gentle enough to be not too horrible yet signifies a degree of numptiness which has to be mentioned.
Oh and yes you are a numpty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgetting the burnt nipple for a moment
Numpty is my favourite "insult" it's gentle enough to be not too horrible yet signifies a degree of numptiness which has to be mentioned.
Oh and yes you are a numpty "
I agree numpty is a great word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about 'twonk' used to use that loads when I were a lad "
I'd call my children numpties but twonk is heading towards twat or wanker ( in my head ) so wouldn't use it, not to say it's a really bad word |
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