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Would you rather

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By *iker Jack OP   Man 18 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Would you rather have and be loved and no touch or sex

Or

Loads of touching and sex but never being in love again

Is part of loving someone having some kind of intimacy?

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By *agatoXXXMan 18 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

I already have neither.

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By *icecouple561Couple 18 weeks ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Part of loving is some kind of physical intimacy. Hugging, holding, touching. It doesn't need to be sexual but touch starvation is a real thing.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 18 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I don’t think love and intimacy are codependent. Intimacy can be in the moment and not because of feelings.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 18 weeks ago

Tamworth

If I’ve understood the post correctly, as I’m happy to stick to Fab and sack off relationships, I’m all for the second option.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 18 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"I don’t think love and intimacy are codependent. Intimacy can be in the moment and not because of feelings. "

But then my success rate isn’t great in either.

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By *vaRose43Woman 18 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

OP having tried to make that choice, I cannot do one without the other need being met forever. Happy marriage without the physical intimacy and his blessing for me to fulfil my other needs here.

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By *iker Jack OP   Man 18 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

For me intimacy implies feelings.

Maybe I’m a tad old fashioned but having a one off with someone you don’t know is not intimacy it’s more carnal.

Whereas intimacy implies knowing them intimately and what they like and dislike without needing to ask

Just my thoughts

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By *eordieJeansCouple 18 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I’ll take the sex.

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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago

You can have passionate sex and be very in the moment and not have feelings. People all too easily shout love when it's just lust and infatuation.

Also, love is a crock of shit.

I'll take the filthy passionate sex any day. Then I'll leave them and go about my life.

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By *eliWoman 18 weeks ago

.

I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.

I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them.

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By *agatoXXXMan 18 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.


"I’ll take the sex."

I'll have the soup.🍲

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 18 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Nope.

I would accept neither of those options. I'd rather just deal with myself 💜

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By *iker Jack OP   Man 18 weeks ago

Wolverhampton


"I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.

I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them. "

I agree that love is not intimacy. For me it’s about knowing what makes each other “tick” but also can just be a touch or a look or holding hands

Maybe I’m soft

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By *ookie46Woman 18 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I can’t have one without the other, physical touch is so important to me

There’s no better place than being in their arms

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By *ffervescentMan 18 weeks ago

winfrith

I had the first option and opted out .

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By *eordieJeansCouple 18 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"I’ll take the sex.

I'll have the soup.🍲"

I hope that isn’t a euphemism

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan 18 weeks ago

St Leonards

Dogs are excellent for the first option.

Humans for the second.

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By *eliWoman 18 weeks ago

.


"I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.

I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them.

I agree that love is not intimacy. For me it’s about knowing what makes each other “tick” but also can just be a touch or a look or holding hands

Maybe I’m soft "

I don't think that's soft. I think it's lovely. It's that gentle intimacy you share with another, the more you learn someone and can relax around them. Hand holding is wonderful. Gentle thigh squeezes. Little kisses on the forehead.

Anyway, I'm going with neither because both are important to me. :D

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By *929Man 18 weeks ago

bedlington

Haha either is more than current situation, I’ve given up all hope of ever finding love so guess it’s option 2

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By *ell GwynnWoman 18 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I did the first one during my marriage and it was miserable for both of us.

I don't need romantic love to feel loved. I have plenty of love in my life.

I'll take the second option, please.

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By *nya NeesWoman 18 weeks ago

Brum

Sex please 😂😜

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By *ophieslutTV/TS 18 weeks ago

Central

Lots of touch and sex

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By *arlequin_tearsMan 18 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Would you rather have and be loved and no touch or sex

Or

Loads of touching and sex but never being in love again

Is part of loving someone having some kind of intimacy?"

If you're trying to answer 'Is part of loving someone having some kinds of intimacy?' then 'does love = sex?' is a very badly nuanced hypothetical.

We know there are lots of different forms of love and they are all equally valid.

Just because your mother, father, kids or pet don't want to bang you or vice versa doesn't make the love invalid. Similarly for very close friends.

People who identify as asexual may have zero sex drive. It doesn't mean they don't love.

There is also a BIG difference between love and being 'In Love'. Being 'In Love' is New Relationship Energy. It's the 1st 6 months of a relationship where everything is really intense, you finish each others sentences, hurt when you're not around someone etc.

It's powerful stuff, and creates NRE addicts in ENM circles who cycle through play partners and serial monogamists who lack the emotional maturity to grow into something better.

And emotional intimacy and intellectual intimacy are entirely things.

That said, many of us also need physical touch. Whether that's a hug or actual sexual contact. For some people weighted blankets are also really helpful. But the blanket doesn't love you.

History is full of loving relationships who can't be physically intimate so one partner is encouraged to scratch the sexy itch elsewhere.

So interesting question.

Not a great hypothetical.

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By *elix SightedMan 18 weeks ago

Cloud 8


"Dogs are excellent for the first option.

Humans for the second. "

As long as you don’t get d*unk and mix them up.

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By *agatoXXXMan 18 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.


"I’ll take the sex.

I'll have the soup.🍲

I hope that isn’t a euphemism "

You've never been offered super sex?😲

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By *ags73Man 18 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"Would you rather have and be loved and no touch or sex

Or

Loads of touching and sex but never being in love again

Is part of loving someone having some kind of intimacy?"

Have neither. Would take the sex

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By *iscotti32Woman 18 weeks ago

choomah island

Sex all day long!

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