For me intimacy implies feelings.
Maybe I’m a tad old fashioned but having a one off with someone you don’t know is not intimacy it’s more carnal.
Whereas intimacy implies knowing them intimately and what they like and dislike without needing to ask
Just my thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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You can have passionate sex and be very in the moment and not have feelings. People all too easily shout love when it's just lust and infatuation.
Also, love is a crock of shit.
I'll take the filthy passionate sex any day. Then I'll leave them and go about my life.
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By *eliWoman 18 weeks ago
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I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.
I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them. |
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"I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.
I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them. "
I agree that love is not intimacy. For me it’s about knowing what makes each other “tick” but also can just be a touch or a look or holding hands
Maybe I’m soft |
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By *eliWoman 18 weeks ago
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"I don't think loving someone involves sex. I agree with Nice though, there does have to be physical intimacy of some kind. For me, anyway.
I don't think you have to love someone to share intimacy with them.
I agree that love is not intimacy. For me it’s about knowing what makes each other “tick” but also can just be a touch or a look or holding hands
Maybe I’m soft "
I don't think that's soft. I think it's lovely. It's that gentle intimacy you share with another, the more you learn someone and can relax around them. Hand holding is wonderful. Gentle thigh squeezes. Little kisses on the forehead.
Anyway, I'm going with neither because both are important to me. :D |
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"Would you rather have and be loved and no touch or sex
Or
Loads of touching and sex but never being in love again
Is part of loving someone having some kind of intimacy?"
If you're trying to answer 'Is part of loving someone having some kinds of intimacy?' then 'does love = sex?' is a very badly nuanced hypothetical.
We know there are lots of different forms of love and they are all equally valid.
Just because your mother, father, kids or pet don't want to bang you or vice versa doesn't make the love invalid. Similarly for very close friends.
People who identify as asexual may have zero sex drive. It doesn't mean they don't love.
There is also a BIG difference between love and being 'In Love'. Being 'In Love' is New Relationship Energy. It's the 1st 6 months of a relationship where everything is really intense, you finish each others sentences, hurt when you're not around someone etc.
It's powerful stuff, and creates NRE addicts in ENM circles who cycle through play partners and serial monogamists who lack the emotional maturity to grow into something better.
And emotional intimacy and intellectual intimacy are entirely things.
That said, many of us also need physical touch. Whether that's a hug or actual sexual contact. For some people weighted blankets are also really helpful. But the blanket doesn't love you.
History is full of loving relationships who can't be physically intimate so one partner is encouraged to scratch the sexy itch elsewhere.
So interesting question.
Not a great hypothetical. |
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By *ags73Man 18 weeks ago
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"Would you rather have and be loved and no touch or sex
Or
Loads of touching and sex but never being in love again
Is part of loving someone having some kind of intimacy?"
Have neither. Would take the sex |
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