FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do our BDSM pictures put people off?
Do our BDSM pictures put people off?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Not at all !you are just looking for a certain few on here "
We're happy to play vanilla as well as BDSM, but we don't want others to think we only play BDSM xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Do you get messages from people saying they don't like them? "
Yes, there has been quite a few messages lately saying they put people off. Strangely they are messages from people who we haven't even been chatting with xx |
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"Not at all !you are just looking for a certain few on here
We're happy to play vanilla as well as BDSM, but we don't want others to think we only play BDSM xx"
I would add the explanation to your profile perhaps so people know? |
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"Do you get messages from people saying they don't like them?
Yes, there has been quite a few messages lately saying they put people off. Strangely they are messages from people who we haven't even been chatting with xx"
Ah ok, always remember you will never please everyone - and in reality you are not looking to attract everyone, just those with similar passions |
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By *eliWoman 8 weeks ago
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I wouldn't hide them. You can explain what you like in your bio, how it's not just BDSM you're looking for. Have a range of photos to show your... varied interests when it comes to sex.
So the ones you have now might put some off? That's fine. You're not compatible. Even more so if they think that's all you want to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"I think it's important to be open about what you like. If you hide your BDSM pics then you might lose out on attracting those who also love that sort of thing."
That's a great point xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Not at all !you are just looking for a certain few on here
We're happy to play vanilla as well as BDSM, but we don't want others to think we only play BDSM xx
I would add the explanation to your profile perhaps so people know? "
I can't believe I didn't think of that, it seems so obvious now you have pointed it out. I will do it now, thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Just had a perve and my God what an incredible collection of pics definitely wouldn't be afraid or intimated by you both but then again I am a submissive myself lol"
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"I wouldn't hide them. You can explain what you like in your bio, how it's not just BDSM you're looking for. Have a range of photos to show your... varied interests when it comes to sex.
So the ones you have now might put some off? That's fine. You're not compatible. Even more so if they think that's all you want to do."
Great point well put, thank you xx |
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Skimming your profile, you don't have anything saying you are BDSM players but you can see that there is some Domme play and some bi play. If you're happy to play more vanilla, even more straight (if you like), just add it to your profile - if you think bdsm is putting people off.
To say, I've met bi couples only because they have explicitly said they are happy to keep any meet as straight play, so it does help people understand what you're about |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Skimming your profile, you don't have anything saying you are BDSM players but you can see that there is some Domme play and some bi play. If you're happy to play more vanilla, even more straight (if you like), just add it to your profile - if you think bdsm is putting people off.
To say, I've met bi couples only because they have explicitly said they are happy to keep any meet as straight play, so it does help people understand what you're about"
Yes, that's a great point. I will address that in our profile thank you.
we definitely don't want to alienate people, variety is the spice of life and all that haha xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Anything but. I'm not even into BDSM but they don't put me off, in fact some of them seem quite enticing. I would leave them as public. |
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Nope, the pictures aren't even super hardcore BDSM anyway from what I can tell. And like you've said, the people complaining are those you've never talked to before, which already seems odd of them 😅
Be you and attract the people you'll enjoy being with.
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Yes they would put us off. They wouldn't put many off though, each to their own."
Intresting, do they put you off even when we say in our profile that we are happy/like to play vanilla ?
Sarah xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Nope, the pictures aren't even super hardcore BDSM anyway from what I can tell. And like you've said, the people complaining are those you've never talked to before, which already seems odd of them 😅
Be you and attract the people you'll enjoy being with.
LvM"
Yes, you are quite right. Thank you both xx |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Not at all, the BDSM photos are amazing!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx
Not at all, the BDSM photos are amazing! "
Thank you xx |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
If that's what you like Sarah then it's absolutely fine. BDSM isn't my thing but maybe I've not been involved properly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"It'll put some off and not others, your photos will never appeal to everyone.
Mrs "
That is very true. Not everyone is for everyone. A good point well made xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"I think they shouldn’t put people off if they read your profile too. It’s part of what you like and think it shows an openness to you both. "
That is true, on the advice of some of the comments on this thread I've adjusted our profile slightly and written in that we are happy to play 'vanilla' etc. Hopefully that helps xx |
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By *8on33Man 8 weeks ago
winfrith |
"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
I thoroughly perused your pics Sarah and no they don't. |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ? Definitely not
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ? Definitely not
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Seeing that side of you guys would draw me in. Others that are not into it and are new to the scene might be put off but I don't think it would for most as your profile isn't dominanted by them type of pics. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 8 weeks ago
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"Honest answer, yes they do but each to their own. If a man approached me wearing one of those masks I would freak out and run a mile. Sorry.x"
There is nothing to apologise for. To each there own. Great profile by the way. You look amazing lady !! xx |
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"Honest answer, yes they do but each to their own. If a man approached me wearing one of those masks I would freak out and run a mile. Sorry.x
There is nothing to apologise for. To each there own. Great profile by the way. You look amazing lady !! xx"
Thank you.x |
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Not at all of putting. And to be quite frank, those that are put off by them, surely aren’t the right matches for you and your preferences. Own your profile, manage it just the way you want to, not how others want you to |
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Not at all.
Please retain them.
This is you, and it is your truth and honesty. Be proud of that, and don't sweat about those who don't like them. Your pictures are not for them and their opinion is thus irrelevant. Why they bother wasting their time and yours telling you as such is beyond me. |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Yes, they put us off. |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Not off putting at all Sarah. We’re a kinked couple and it’s always nice to see a Lady in control; just as you and I are xxx I assume you are on FL?
Love to chat with kinked couples any time.
A
 |
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By *eyeYCouple 8 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Do you get messages from people saying they don't like them?
Yes, there has been quite a few messages lately saying they put people off. Strangely they are messages from people who we haven't even been chatting with xx"
Think that sums them up Sarah!
Those here that judge by their close minded insecurities on preferences they don't share..
And not all swingers are as non judgemental as we'd naively expected.
We got told we were "plain wrong and freaky" by the tipsy woman of a couple for occasionally enjoying sounding, (ok each to their own), wouldn't have been so bad if she'd not been shouting it repeatedly and then took it upon herself to inform everyone that would listen in the club that we were "a disgusting couple!" 🤦🤷
We tend to keep our BDSM to ourselves, just a preference, but honestly are profile of nothing but that content would be off-putting, but yours isn't and you mention the fact as well...
We'd leave them up as it's probably a great filter! D&Y x 🔥😈 |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
I always think that if a certain aspect of your sexuality ‘puts people off’ are they the sort of people you really want to meet in the first place?
If someone says to you, that’s not my thing, but I’d still like to meet you. Then I’d have much more respect for them that they understand consent and boundaries! |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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It’s a lifestyle you both enjoy why change for others? Enjoy yourselves I’m sure there are plenty of people who enjoy the BDSM kink. Don’t worry what others think it’s your lives do as you wish.
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Not our thing. However, we can appreciate them and based on the suppostion you can’t please everyone, I’d focus on what pleases you.
If those types of photos are your thing, and they attract the people you like, keep posting them I’d say  |
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By *ysizeMan 7 weeks ago
Nottingham |
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Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? "
Nope, love 'em.
Sharing mementos of having a fun time is a good thing. Might not be to everyone's taste but Different strokes for different folks. Keep on doing your thing and like minded people will find you. X |
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Your pics say what needs to be said. It will attract who needs to be attracted.
It will also attract bellends that have no intention of meeting you and clearly give you grief. Block, move on and get amongst it. You can't please everyone. |
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Yes. We have encountered this, particularly in our early years, when some of earlier pictures might have put people off.
We have, however, addressed it in our profile, which we hope explains the situation.
Having actually met people, who were initially put off from meeting us, as they didn`t share the same tastes, they have been pleasantly surprised that we were not as "scary" as our pics perhaps depicted. |
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By *ungandMan 7 weeks ago
daveyhulme |
"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
Hello Sarah
Keep posting your bdsm photos there very hot and shows both sides of your interest |
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
So they probably will put some people off as it isn't something they are interested in but you are here looking for what turns you both on. Do what makes you happy with your profile |
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No, not at all.
However BDSM or the expression of any kind of kink can be polarising on here because kink can be a bit marmite. So naturally if you express kink you will always close a few doors (especially if it's very niche or a bit more extreme).
Which of course isn't necessary a bad thing when we are searching for the right matches.
In terms of swinging you have to ask yourself do you intend to incorporate your kink/fetish with others? If yes then this makes complete sense for helping to find the right matches. If the answer is no you don't then putting up photos of your kink/fetish is arguably counter productive and serves absolutely not value to what you seek on here. Especially if its a kink/fetish that is not particularly popular or a bit niche.
Personally our BDSM is something very private to us and we genrally don't share in it with others in the swinging environment. However sometimes we do a bit so we have a nod to it in our photos with a bit of rope and stuff. But is just lite to indicate we have a kink side but we very much here for the swinging.
Mr |
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No, your BDSM pics wouldn't put us off. In fact they'd be more likely to catch our eye as kink is our main thing, and even though femdom isn't for us, it would give us some common ground to start a conversation.
I don't understand why people would be negative about how you choose to express your sexuality, but it does seem that there are folks on here who can be judgemental about others.
Hit the block button hard and often for those sorts and keep being you.
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"Good morning you lovely lot.
Do our BDSM pictures put people off ? we play vanilla aswell (if you can really call swinging vanilla) haha. I'm not sure if I should make our BDSM pictures friends only to not put others off ?
Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
There is nothing wrong with your profile or photos...everyone has different kinks so why should yours put them off. I personally think your pictures are very erotic xx
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"Please let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx"
The fact your 1st pic in your gallery is an out of focus, poorly lit, badly cropped image of someone in a gimp mask is disconcerting.
Especially considering how good the rest of the pictures are.
I wouldn't necessarily hide the BDSM pictures, but mixing in a few more less spicy pics, possibly a few completely vanilla shots and re-ordering your gallery a little may help.
The fact the 1st image has pulp fiction vibes is a little disconcerting.
Hope that helps and you find lots of fun folks. |
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